August 31, 2007
I had a dream where I am told that my best friend Dinah has given birth to a son and that I am the father.I feel like I have amnesia because I can’t ever remember having sexual relations with Dinah but they tell me that it is true.He is my son and Dinah has named him Steven. What I do remember is how much I love and care for Dinah.I feel that even though I can’t remember when it happened, it is totally possible.I am so happy.To have a son is something I have always dreamed of having, especially a child of my own flesh and blood.I am handed the boy wrapped tightly in a blanket.His little face looks up to me and he is just so beautiful to behold.I kiss his little lips so tenderly and repeatedly.I finally have a son of my own.I want to take him home with me.I begin to think of the life we will have together and the many things I will teach my son.As I get ready to leave my memory returns and I recall that Dinah is married and has a husband and a family of her own.This is a dream.I pause in my step and turn around. With a heavy heart, I return the child but before I hand him over I think I could possibly make a different choice at this moment and change the course of events and change the past.I’m aware of the power I possess within the dream to change history but I simply cannot take a son at the expense of my friendship with Dinah.For but a brief moment, I had a son.
As I journaled this dream just now I found it odd that my dream would choose the name Steven as the birth name of my son. I don’t have anyone in my family or circle of friends named Steven. Is there any significance in the name Steven? As I’m in the habit of doing, I looked up the name in my trusted Wikipedia where I found the following:
Stephen or Steven (generally pronounced IPA [ˈstivn̩]) is an English masculine first name, derived through the Latin form Stephanus from the Greek Στέφανος (Stephanos), which means “crown” or “wreath.”
I’ve been chatting with my friend David Kahn who’s recently been dreaming babies. He like me recently authored a book. This creation we’ve each placed forth in the pages of a book is not unlike giving birth to a child. Our books now have a life all unto there own. What an honor it is to have the dream confirm the crown upon my book, my child. These things amaze me when the riddles are solved and you the dreamer had no conscious input to formulate the outcome. There was no mistake made in the name bestowed on my child by the dream. It was not random. It has purpose. It has meaning. It is the raw material upon which life itself is lived.
Thanksgiving 2005 was the day my life would change forever. I dropped dead and somehow was allowed to return because I had yet to fulfill my true calling. I saw the life drain from my eyes as the lights were turned off in my head. I saw the light in the tunnel where I was met by others who showed me what I had done with my life. On the gurney was a withered hand and forearm, a symbol of that part of me that I had not yet extended to humanity. My book, my life and these websites are an attempt now to offer a loving hand. It has become my calling. There is no other reason for my living than to fulfill what had yet to be fulfilled.
I sometimes feel stuck. Not knowing the right answers or the next right move. I’m told in deep meditation, “You already know the way. You have done this before.” There is a place within me that does have the answers. It is a place within us all where we share in the light of our True Self. The answers received are not however the instructional answers we are used to receiving like a recipe with measured amounts. Life is meant to be lived in the moment and off the cuff.
OK here is a dream that was so profound in that it was like no other dream I have ever had before. I love it when you experience something new. I was fully lucid but not in the normal sense. I’ve shared before that often I have entered a dream state while fully awake but normally it happens after having actually woken up as I remain in bed or as I’m falling asleep and usually connected to meditation. In this dream, I woke up within the dream to become 100% aware of everything around me. I believe this happened as a result of setting my cell phone to beep as a subliminal queue for me to meditate while I’m dreaming. When I first woke up in the dream I was caught off guard. I immediately looked around and thought what the hell is going on here. Where the f@%$ am I? I knew everything about myself I simply had not yet opened my yes. I’m sure I was still within sleep paralysis. I was fearless. I quickly figured out that I was dreaming. What amazed me was all that was going on around me and the level of detail with which it was playing itself out. Someone had gone through an awful lot of work to meticulously set this virtual stage up. I was also fully encapsulated within my dream body. I was my dream.
I see dinosaurs roaming the land. This is the Land that Time Forgot. Cut off by an alien reptilian race of people who have infiltrated the land. I quickly became aware that help is on the way. They are trying to get a message passed to me by way of a child that is about to be born to a woman with 3 heads. Her belly was concealed under a heavy blouse which extends toward me. My consciousness splits and I become aware of my bed in which my physical body is laying. I lift my covers and see that my covers are her blouse. In other words, when I lift my covers I’m lifting her blouse. I’m aware of both dimensions. She is going into labor. They signal to me that I must receive the child and care for it. The child is somehow the savior, the help they have sent. It must pass unnoticed by the Reptilians. I’m thinking I don’t know the first thing about child birth. I can see that she is going into labor. The reptilians come to ask what all is going on with her. She pushes her belly to the side and out pops the child under my sheets. I’m happy that now I will have a child of my own. (Something I’ve always wanted but have not had the good fortune of having.) But wait the child is a Reptilian. I have to make him cry or something. I look over at one of the woman’s 3 heads…it is her third head which turns to look at me. She snarls with the mouth of a reptilian creature. Have they tricked me?
The love of a mother kicks in and compassion for the reptilian child fills my heart. This child, reptilian as he may be, needs my love for it to survive. It bites my finger and I think to myself…I’m going to have to tame this reptile to make him docile and friendly. My consciousness returns to a state of single focus within the dream. I know whatever is happening here there is a message that I need not tamper with. So I simply follow along with the dream. I take the reptilian child home with me and put him on a leash on my balcony. Over time he becomes docile and changes color from his birth color of a purple brown to a vivid green like an iguana. He is very cute and friendly now yet somewhat mischievous. I think I may be able to someday send him out among the Reptilian race and have him serve under cover for the alliance, kind of like Warf in Star Trek.
The scene then changes and I am being told via symbols that the Reptilians are the same alien race that brought down the planes on 911. I’m re-living the scenes where people are falling from the sky with plane debris below me. As I’m now falling to my death I decide to change the dream scene and stretch out my wings to fly. I immediately take flight with incredibly powerful wings. I fly by the others who are in panic descending to their death and I signal to them to tell them just do as I’m doing and stretch out your wings. You all have the gift of flight. In the end the Reptilians become more human like and we become more Reptilian. A balance is struck between both sides and out of the mouth of my little green iguana pops out a white baby dinosaur bird with feathers. My little iguana then tries to bite the tail of the baby bird but I quickly grab the bird. Once again and feel compassion now for my new little addition to my family. I’m now the mother of a dinosaur bird.
I find myself with a group of people. I’m looking for my loved one, my partner, my soul mate, my twin flame. I see a guy standing in a movie theatre and I run up to him. The house lights in the theatre are still on. I put my arms around him knowing he is the one. He does not resist me but he also does not move to embrace me. He says, “You think you found your soul mate?” I reply, “I know I did.” I dig my nose into the side of his neck where it meets the front of his chest. I can smell his essence. I can see his golden brown bearded face and I know I am home. He then say’s, “Yea, but do you remember what you did?” He wasn’t asking me this in judgment, he wanted to know if I was still standing in judgment of myself but at the time he asked I did not know why he was asking me. I failed the response by answering with a defense. A little trickster guy beside me lifted me up off my feet and pushed my foot so as to nudge the person seated in front of me. I did not want to do wrong against another so I moved to prevent him from entrapping me. I quickly returned to the tight embrace in which I held my loved one so as to not allow him to leave my sight. I immediately went into a state of bliss.
When I came out he said to me, “What if this is not my true form?” He then transformed himself into other forms many bearing the faces of many other humans. I questioned myself, did I have prejudices or could I truly receive him in whatever form he appeared? He finally assumed the form of a green alien creature. He was friendly in appearance but nonetheless alien to me. He was now standing about 10 feet away under a shadowy overhang. He then said, “Would you embrace me now?” to which I replied, “Yes.” I knew I had to remain with an open heart. I then moved to wrap my arms around him. I once again immediately fell into a state of utter bliss.
When I reemerged I had a false awakening. I quickly recognized this was not my 3rd dimensional reality so I quickly moved my spirit from the dream body to trigger an out of body experience. I floated out of my body and ascended into the heavens. I wondered if I had died. It was so incredibly beautiful. Luminous nebulous clouds were everywhere. Angels and fairies were perched within the clouds radiating all the many colors of the rainbow. My spirit then took form. I was the ugliest form in the heavens but I did not care. I was simply happy to be there. I then walked around this realm observing what it felt like to be housed in this new body. It was awkward. A group of angels approached me and asked if I was OK. I said, “Yes,” with a smile as I looked down upon my swollen hairy arms. There was grace to be found in heaven and I soon shed my ugliness.
I then was swept away and found myself in a blue room void of anything. I had been here before. I was fully lucid and conscious of every detail about who I was. I knew this was my chance to ask a question directly of God. From out of nowhere I heard my voice say, “I want to see my son.” Where did that come from I thought? What a question. If I had a son, I would certainly want to see him but I don’t have one. Yet from somewhere I felt in my heart the love of my son. I wanted to know my son. Where was this love coming from? I began so see before me a hand reach out to pick me up. Before I lost my lucid opportunity, I quickly asked the question, “Tell me how to achieve enlightenment.”
I was carried off by the hand of God and my spirit was placed in a great elephant. I was given a master who loved me and whom I loved and faithfully served. I relived all the years of his life. There were times of great joy when my feet never touched the ground. As I neared the end of my years it came a time when my body could no longer sustain me. My master knew this and one day administered a lethal dose of poison so that my spirit may be freed. As the poison took hold I cringed in pain. I then saw from the back of his neck emerge my spirit once again free.