We Are Here

October 17, 2018

In last night’s dream I am with a group of people.  We are enjoying some casual social fun yet working in some capacity.  It is work that is casually fun and social.  A man and woman come up to the podium where I  am stationed and discretely offer me a sandwich bag with squarely folded money.  Along with the money are shavings of white chocolate.  They also offer me a transparent box with an assortment of deserts, danishes and ice cream.  The man and wife identify themselves as old friends.  I take a contemplative second look at them and immediately recognize them.  The man says the sandwich bag is for my personal consumption.  He instructs me to offer the box of deserts to my coworkers.

Inside the box is an ice cream cone with a caramel top nuts.   The cone is beginning to melt so I take it for myself and offer the remaining items to those around me.  I am very happy to see the man and wife.  They follow me as we walk around.  We are in Los Angeles.  We reminisce as we walk past the areas where we used to live.  We arrive at an apartment building with an exterior flight of stairs.   As we walk up the stairs the the woman sees a billboard in the distance and remarks to herself as if speaking to the billboard.  The billboard is a picture of my mom and dad.  The man says to the woman, “Would you stop talking to the billboard, we are here.

Wedding Song On The High Sea’s

October 5, 2018

In last night’s dream I am part of a group of people.  I am with a partner she seems to be androgynous of both male and female sex.  At times I refer to her in the feminine and at other times she appears to me in the masculine.  We are getting married or are engaged.    Her life seems easy to me.  She happens to be at the right place at the right time.  In one instance she invests in a start up and makes a huge amount of money.  I want to bring something to the relationship that is special and of my own doing.  I wonder if there are interesting start up that I can invest in that would bring similar returns.  I decide to buy some stock.  The stock certificates are guaranteed to have a gain.  This certificate is multi faceted.  It is a marriage certificate, a birth certificate and a stock certificate all at the same time.  I place the certificate on a sheet of cake upon which the marriage cake will be placed.  I plan on revealing the certificate when the cake is cut.

My jealousy is showing a bit toward her easy gains.  I want the time to come soon for me to reveal my surprise but so many other things have to be done in preparation before we can have our celebration and reveal.  I seem to have a deja-vue within the dream and recall having been here before.  I seem to know the events which will play out.  I try to recall where I’ve come to know the truth.   I recall a movie like Titanic  and realize my life is playing out just like in the movie.  I seem to know the ending.  I remember from the movie that the couple have a fight and the cake is thrown in the ocean.  Along with the cake so too are lost the certificates.  In the end they live together happily but without knowledge of what was lost.  I feel I have to do something to change the course of events and maybe I can recover the cake and certificates so we can have a much better life together.   I go to her to discuss what she is going to wear for the wedding.  She shows me a black leather harness.  In my mind, I think oh no how could you wear a leather harness to your wedding.  Without me even saying anything she replies, “It’s in the way you wear it.”  She who is now in the masculine form twists the suspenders so as to make a new use for the harness.  She then proceeds to create bearded tassels which look very similar to my beard in color and form.   She / He gives the impression it will keep us together.  I look at him and think how beautiful he is even though I’m not fond of the leather harness.  In the back of my mind I still want to find a way to safeguard the certificates so they aren’t lost to sea or does happiness lie not in material wealth.

Signed, Sealed and Delivered

October 3rd, 2018

In last night dream I remember receiving a package in the mail.  It’s a tiny little box with what and inside the box in a stamp and seal the kind a notary would use to certify documents.  My mind takes me to when I worked as a paralegal in Los Angeles when I was a notary.  I assume this package and it’s contents are to be used in my work.  As I prepare to certify documents I notice the package also contains powdered sugar or what appears to be powdered sugar.  Believing the package may be contaminated I contact the authorities who come to examine the package.  One of the authorities is an older man probably around my age.  He tells me he has found a child in the package.  This being so unusual to me I ask where did you come from?  He seems noticeably nervous trying to put the items back into the package.  I can now see the young child who sits beside him.  At this moment I feel something touch my side.  I look beside me and see the little boy is now under my arm.  I kiss his head and ask him, “Is that you?”  At this point I awaken enough to hear my own voice in real life say “Is that you?  Butters is under my arm sleeping.  I immediately fall asleep.

Now back in the dream I see the toddler seated next to the man.  I walk over and ask.  “How old is the child?”  The man looks puzzled.  I continue saying,  “He has to have an age?”   I begin counting in an effort to awaken the man to my questioning.  Is he  1,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6,  7,  8,  9?   Visibly nervous he responds he is non of those.  At this moment realize the dream has a different concept of time.

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I Am You; We Are

September 25, 2018

Yesterday after my dinner I laid on the couch to watch TV and began to doze off.  I resisted falling completely out because I had things to do so I was only allowing myself a short respite from my chores.  I began to dream in 2 to 3 second snippets.  Each snippet was completely different and unrelated to the previous one.  I mussed over the selection of images being presented to me.  In one I saw a vacuum cleaner nozzle scoop up particles off the floor.  It reminded me of my mom since she cleaned houses for a living when I was young.  The nozzle didn’t move but the particles it scooped up did.  The dust particles moved quickly in a horizontal direction from from left to right.  I remember thinking they are too precise to be random.  The images seemed to have a very specific intent.  In one I saw a tennis shoe stepping into the frame followed by the left foot.  I focus on the ankles. There were so many of these snippets in quick succession like flash cards quickly passing through.  The way they would enter and leave my field of vision seemed calculated.  In some cases the scene would rotate and swipe off my minds screen like 3 dimensional computer graphics.

For a moment, there was a pause in the presentation which served to clear my mind of all thought.  I suddenly peered into a dimly lit living room where a man stood in the center.  Behind him was a window.  I could see his entire body from about the knees up.  He wore dark grey pants and a grainy blue t-shirt.  I immediately recognized him as me as if I am looking at myself in a mirror but yet the scene behind him was not the scene where my physical body stood.   He smiled at me as if to acknowledge the mirror image.  I am the man in the mirror.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I am struck by the deep sense of knowing when I see thyself.  Just like when you unexpectedly step in front of a mirror you KNOW you are looking at yourself.  There must be a greater part of me beyond space and time maybe its my higher self.  Maybe a part of me exist in multiple dimensions.  

In the moment when I saw myself.  I was more taken by the feeling of recognizing self than of what I was wearing.  It was only in journaling it that I caught the colors.  The colors were those I’ve associated previously with OB.  Blue and Grey.  Why was I wearing blue and grey.  Of all colors why does my consciousness choose these colors.  They are not even my favorite colors.  Why was there a window in the background and why was the room dimly lite.  I feel everything has a message nothing is by chance.  Everything has meaning.

Pool Cat Mamma

This Kitten Has The World's Most Adorable Smile

When Wolfie the kitten was rescued, his adorable toothy smile made his foster mom fall in love immediately. But he was sick and weighed less than a pound and vets said he didn't have a chance. Today on Little But Fierce, watch Wolfie get feistier and feistier one ounce at a time, and thank his foster mom for saving his life in the sweetest way possible 😍

Posted by Little But Fierce on Monday, May 21, 2018

September 22, 2019

So I’ve been in a deep depression as yesterday my mother died.  Last night was the first night I was hoping for a dream of my mom to know she is OK.  The entire night I never really achieved a deep sleep or at least I never really felt rested.  I was on constant vigil looking for my mom.  When I did wake up I couldn’t remember anything not a damn thing and I was even more sad that my dreams had let me down.  Then I remembered something what seemed so trivial and unrelated to my mom.

In the dream, we are positioning an above ground pool.  This is a pool we had before and it has sat outside with the sides down to the ground.  There is a puddle of water dark with debris at the bottom.  The wind during the long winter has moved the pool a bit taking it out of it’s original shape.  There are several men here attempting to bring the sides up and re position it.  They are doing it wrong.  They have it going in a triangular shape when it was originally a square.  I attempt to tell them without actually telling them that there is something wrong.  I want them to see the error of their way.  I decide to use hand signals to convey the message. I wave my arms much like a ground traffic controllers does with their flash light to direct the planes in and out of the airport gates.  There is one man standing on the pool ladder who is overseeing the positioning of the pool.  At him I say “1L” and wave my arms to my right.  I then say “2L” and wave my arms behind me.  Then something quite out of character happens.  The face of a huge ginormous cat appears behind him.  Light is shining from behind the cat such that I am unable to see the cat’s facial feature simply the shadow outline of the cat.

_____Dream Ends

I was so depressed and resentful this morning that my dream had not revealed anything about my mom.  I didn’t even want to journal it.  I sat in front of my computer looking at my Facebook page crying watching a video I created of my mother years back.  The end of the video has a full screen picture of my mom looking at me.  The video ended and spontaneously Facebook queued up the next video.  The image of the video above is what I saw.  It was Mamma.

The name of the video also has meaning.  I describe my mom in my video as The Most Beautiful Woman I’ve Ever Known.  The name of the cat video is The Worlds Most Adorable Smile.  They both have superlative titles of beauty.  Was the appearance of the completely out of place cat  Mamma?  I believe it was.  I think my dad has shown her how to send subtle message to me because he has been good at it so far.

syn·chro·nic·i·ty
the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection 

A Blade of Rainbow Families – The Day My Mother Died

September 21, 2018

In last night’s dream, I am with a group of people at possibly a book store or news stand type store where they sell magazines, periodicals and novelties.  I don’t believe I know the people in the store as it seems we are all just passing through and by circumstance we all happen to meet here.  There is a large box on the floor where they have placed all the out of date items.  I see several copies of the Washington Blade.  Believing these are probably throw-away items and therefore free I walk over to look for the most recent edition.  The first edition I pick up and open it to the cover page but it no longer has the first page.  A guy dressed in all yellow says to me as if he is aware of my thoughts, “That’s not the latest edition.”  So I put the copy down and reach for another one which I identify as having all it’s pages.

The second one is complete and is the latest edition of the throw-away items in the box.  I proceed to open the pages and notice all the pages are cut revealing an accordion of cut out characters emerging from the pages.  I close it quickly not knowing what is happening to it and try again to open it.  This time I open it slowly to see what the cut out are.  As the pages unfold the cut out characters become two dimensional animated cut out of people.  All the cut outs are white cream color with no writing or features merely cut outs.  The guy next to me who is all yellow reaches in and pulls out a spinet piano from the pages of the blade.  I am amazed because I recognize the piano as the one I had when I was a kid.  The yellow man begins playing testing the keys and notices a problem.  It is suspected there is a ball of poop in the pages so he is wanting to work around the poop to reconstruct his piano.

With the magazine in my hands I can feel a lump withing the pages still in my left hand.  I hold the “poop” tightly and walk over to examine the piano.  I lift the lid of the piano to reveal it’s keys and find one of the strings is broken.  I tell the yellow man that the piano is so old one would expect a string to be broken but it can be easily repaired.  While I’m talking to him still holding the “poop ball” within my hand it begins to squirm in my hand.  I let go releasing the tightly held pages and opening the remaining pages of the magazine open.  From within the ball emerge a bunch of tiny etheric people 10 times smaller than the cut outs previously.  Each one a different color of the rainbow.  There are blues, yellows, reds, purple, green.  They remind me of little pieces of Play Doh.  Now reconstituted they are jumping and playing with each other.  When groups of different colors come together they become white and grey and beige then separating again into their individual color.  Rainbow colors pulse through their tiny etheric bodies.

Retracing Our Steps

Board game “Having Fun with Math & Science

September 20, 2018

I woke up feeling very happy this morning.  In my dream I am with someone I’ve met and have established a relationship with.  We have a great deal in common.  He likes games and we play games together.  We go on outings together and when we are apart we reunite when we are free.  In one scene we are separated because he has to address his responsibilities and I have to address my responsibilities but we have a plan to reconvene at a later point in the day.  During my time alone I gather the things I experience to later share with my partner.  It is a fairly new relationship so I am thinking about him all the time.  I am planning on sharing all my adventure with the groups I participate with.   When we do reconvene later in the day, we retrace our steps and share the details of our past.  He is excited and engaged.  He tells me we are recovering the past to which I say we are members in our lives.

~~~DREAM ENDS

I chose this image because my “Partner” likes to play games in the dream.  This image I found of a game board “Having Fun with Math & Science” I liked because of the different activities depicted on the board.  I imagine each experience in that area of the game would be something someone could share about.  It also has a path to follow as represented by the steps you take on the journey.

I Am Home

August 17, 2018

In last night I find myself on a train platform having arrived here.  I think I am in Palm Springs or New Orleans.  I am there with a couple people I know but not necessarily close friends.  One of those here is my ex Joe.  I’m not sure if I am with Joe or not I am wondering if I should be holding his hand or not.  Someone mentions there is a new resort that just opened up near the train station.  Walking by we look into the windows which reminds me of a convenience store.  I look in the windows and recognize the place as somewhere I’ve been before. The only difference now is they have revamped the reception area.  I don’t feel like going there.  Those in the group want to take a free tour of the new place. “I don’t want to do this,” I tell them and I proceed to sit on a park bench right next to the establishment.  It seems like a quiet area that has trees and shrubs.  It feels peaceful to sit here.  While I wait, I pull out my cell phone and notice it has changed.  It has new plug-ins that I recognize.  I know the functionality they provide before ever having seen them before.  I am surprised to see they are offering this type of controls and services on the phone.  There is a sense that these controls are cutting edge items from the future and should not be present in a phone yet.

After sitting there for a while I get tired of waiting and I don’t even know if I’m with him so I’m not sure why the hell I’m waiting.  I’m starting to get irritated.  I decide to call Joe on the phone.  I am looking at the dial pad but the numbers are mixed up.  The 2 is now a 1 and the 1 is now a 2.  I can’t see the remaining numbers to call.  Frustrated I begin walking to the train station to head back home.  One of the guys from the group of guys I was with comes out and begins following me.  I am so frustrated I turn and tell him.  Please leave me alone I don’t want you to walk with me.  Shunned he says behind taking a slightly different path to the station.  Once at the station the train arrives.  I realize I don’t yet have a ticket to board the train.  Knowing I don’t have a lot of time I have not other choice but to ask the guy I shunned to help me.  I ask him if he can direct me to where I can buy a ticket.  He point to a vending machine in the distance and says “Its only 10 franks which is less than the price of a beer.”

I try walking but my consciousness won’t budge.  I seem to be stuck in place.  I then try to fly but nothing is happening.  With no other recourse I look up at the sky and say, “Please dream take me home.”  My consciousness begins to move and immediately I woke up.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

Once awake I was puzzled why I woke up.  I just wanted to go to the vending machine for a ticket.  I didn’t want to “wake up”.   After that thought sank in I realized wait a minute….  I am home.

I felt very bad for being so rude to the person in the dream who wanted to walk with me.  I thought he was interested enough to want to walk with me why was I so rude?   Here I am wanting friends in my life and when they show up all be it in a dream I am rude to them.

Looking back at the dream it seems so odd for the guy to comment about the 10 franks being less than the price of a beer since first off we use dollars and second I don’t drink beer.  He also seems quite unaffected by me pushing him away.  Its as if he wanted to be nice to me.

You’re Majesty; The Queen

September 15, 2018

In last nights dream, I am in a village in a distant place with my dog Butters.  The village is a place of twin cities which sit along a river.  One side is a population of indigenous Indians like Mayans.  I can see their elaborate and the earth tone colors they wear and beautiful head dresses.  On the northern side is the City of Royals.  They are the crystalline people.  They have outfits made of shimmering particles.

Two women sit on thrones.  One is a grandmother and the other is the great grandmother.   The great grandmother is the furthers away and she sits upon a mount which oversees the City of Royals.

On the other bank of the river there is yet a third area separate from the twin cities where a giant monolith stands.  He stand 100 times taller than any man in the village.  He wears all dark grey silver color.  He is a monolith of granite yet he is animated and alive.  Some time passes before I realize he is standing across the river.  I spend this time visiting with the villagers freely passing between the northern side where the Royals live and the southern side where the villagers live.   I’ve spent time on both sides with them the entire time unaware of a divide.

I hear a voice ask, “Did you pay your respects to You’re Majesty the Queen?” I look around and for the first time witness the Monolith Man.  HUH? Who and what is this?  Who is he referring to as the Queen?  I assume he is referring the the great grandmother who would in essence be the queen.  I am now for the first time aware of the divide between the cities.  I recognize the distinction between the two cities.  I realize the two mothers are queens and they sit on the Royals side of the divide.  The Monolith insists for a second time, “Did you pay your respects to You’re Majesty the Queen?”  If this monolith has been standing here all this time he would be well aware I have visited and played with them for this entire time.  They are family to me.

Overwhelmed by his sheer size I feel obligated to go back to the City of Royals and pretend to satisfy his request.  With deep reluctance I travel back to the northern side where the Great Grandmother Queen sits.  I approach kneel before her and ask in a whisper, “Great Grandmother what’s up with your son?  Is he not paying attention?” Knowing she is regarded as nobility I seek her protection given my size in comparison to the Monolith.  I ask her,  “What should I do?”  To which she answers in a loving tone placing her hand on my head and combing my hair with her fingers,  “Well call me, You’re Majesty and Just go along with it.”  This angers me because it seems unjust after all she is my great grandmother and who is this man who orders me around.  To please the situation I whisper “You’re Majesty is that enough?”  Now with an overwhelming sense of impending defeat beckoning every fiber in my body to respond. I turn inward for a moment to summon a response for the Monolith.  In this moment of deep inner contemplation a rush of energy floods my body.  From the my feet upward, my body fills with the energy and I immediately take flight.  The rush is so great I am forced to temper the energy so as to not fly too high above and out of their sights.  I realize this seems to be an adequate source for power to use in response to the Monolith.

While in flight I take the opportunity to learn how to control flight.  I try different maneuvers.  I suspect I am somewhat lucid here because this seems to be an automatic response to flight some earthly programming I have inserted into the dream to test things pertaining to flight.  I notice some of the makeovers don’t respond as well as others.  As time passes I seem to be losing the ability of flight.  I try navigating to different places in the dream some with success some requiring a great deal of mental effort.  I wonder if the way to more effectively control the dream is not my intent to move toward objects but instead my intent to have the scenery move toward me.  Maybe my power is conserved by having everything else move around me in response to my desire while I remain still.  I look down and behind me and notice I am now sitting on a chair while things are in motion around me.

With this new found awareness, I return to the villagers.  As I approach from the skies I can see the surprise in their eyes as they cheer my return.  I can see them going about their business in their homes.  I am somehow in the mind of everyone here.  I seem to know all that is happening.  There is a feast where we eat and celebrate.  It is now time for me to head back home.  They offer me food to take back with me.  The only place to carry the food is in my suitcase which is not the best place to store food but I do it anyway.

Upon returning home I have a false awakening.  Where I believe I’m back home.  Except the family I am now a part of are Indians from India.  I bring out the food I have packed to share with them.  Their customs are different from mine.  Everyone eats of the food.  I suddenly realize I have traveled back home and forgot to bring Butters with me.  I enter a state of extreme panic like that of  loosing a child.  The dream must have known it needed to intervene to calm me down.   I then felt my dog move who was nestled comfortably between my legs on the bed.  I reached over and patted his head with an overwhelming sense of relief I returned to the dream now fully lucid.

I take advantage of my lucid state an asked the question,  “What gives with the divide.  I wish to understand the separation between the twin cities.”  I instantly found myself on the banks of the river looking at two distinct time windows much like a portrait of each city.  One millennia past and one today.    The one today the river is very over grown with flowers and wild grasses along it’s banks.  The one from past is pristine tranquil in its beauty yet dark and still.

Still wanting to understand more I find myself in the City of Royals.  This time the city is empty only I walk here among the ruins of this place.  I enter the school where I walk through it’s classrooms.  I hear the voices of children play yet no one is here with me.  I find an origami someone has left behind.  I begin to unfold it examining how it was constructed.  Fold by fold, I deconstruct the origami revealing an inner message.  It is a code of secrets.  In the lower right corner as I unfold the last piece of the paper I see a milky white head crowning through the crease in the page.  I pause knowing this is a reference to a baby.  I pause to look at the paper still not wanting to fully open it savoring the moment and trying to take in as much information as possible.  I look back at the writing.  It is not writing I consciously recognize yet I am intimately familiar with it’s message.  At some level I understand.  Deep within its creases I see the face of a woman.  She is talking to me yet I cannot hear her words but I can see her lips move.  I clearly understand the message.   “Its possible if you want it badly enough.”

 

~~~~DREAM ENDS

 

I chose to take the alternate spelling of the word you’re instead of your given my knowledge of dreams and the wordplay that happens in dreams.  Also given that each character in the dream is a reflection of me.  I assume the dream is telling me I am majesty, I am hewn from stone.  The dream I think is also telling me that I am the queen and ruler of my life.  I have motherly instincts.  I need to pay my own regards to myself and recognize and honor this part of me.

This dream is deep with meaning.  I found it interesting that when I approached the queen I didn’t acknowledge her as queen I went back to refer to her as grandmother and asked what was up with her son?  What made me assume the Monolith was her son?  How and why did I equate the monolith as her son?  and am I the monolith?  Am I the son?  Do I need to bring my self down a level and pay for what I want badly enough.  Funny how in so doing I found my energy.

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Susan’s Venus Sperm Trap

September 14, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself at an annual event given by my employer.  I seem to have traveled here because I have to carry on bags with me which I leave with the cafeteria staff to hold for me.  There is a plant next to where I leave my bags.  It looks like a venus fly trap with the exception that inside the trap the plant excretes sperm.  It is a rare delicacy much like caviar.  I sample the plant and like it so much I decide to re-pot it in a larger pot so that it can grow and more people can enjoy the fruit.

I see my friend Francisco who I haven’t seen in a long time.  I am a bit shocked with his weight.  He is emaciated and very thin.  I comment on his weight to which he simply says this is my desired weight.  Up close to him I notice I can see the tendons of his biceps which he is trying to hide under his shirt.  There is definitely something wrong with him that he simply does not want to admit.

The party progresses along and as it ends we are invited to take some food with us.  The food is going quickly.  I notice the take home plates are not well equipped for travel but I manage to prepare a plate for myself.  A man behind me it trying to reach under me to get some of the last servings.  My plate wet with food collapses onto his plate mixing my plate with his plate.  Not wanting to argue about which is mine and which is his I decide to simply get another plate.  There is not much food left so I take a desert plate and opt for some desert instead.  The kitchen places some left over hor-dourves on a lazy susan.   These are meat pastries.  I decide these are quite good to stock up on.  I take a few to sample them before filling my pastry dish with my to-go plate.

Again I see Francisco chumming up with my friend Stephen.  Odd I think to myself because they don’t really know each other.  Francisco is sitting on Stephens lap with his back to me.  Again I notice his very thin waist.  I then prepare to leave and grab one of my bags completely forgetting I had two bags when I arrived. I inadvertently leave my second bag behind.

Later when I realize I forgot one of my bags I return to the cafeteria where the I Venus Sperm Trap was standing.  All the bags are not gone.  The  sperm trap has a few dry white leaves where the sperm from the fruit has dribbled down the leaves.  I wonder how I am supposed to recover my lost and found item.  I return to the lazy susan and find my lost and found item on the lazy susan.  I am relieved to know I haven’t lost anything and thankful that they placed my bag somewhere where I can find it.