Butters A Leaders Heart

In this dream I am witnessing the administration of an IV needle. I can see the vein has recovered from the puncture. It is creating a seal around the part that has been inserted. I am surprised at the resiliency of the vein to heal itself. A thought crosses my mind on whether it would be possible to use the vein again in this condition.

I examine the path the needle takes and where it comes from. I can see the needle has a black thread which runs from the point of the insertion toward my body running down my forearm and returning the to cup in my elbow. I wonder if I am able to insert myself into the vein.

I hear a voice say, “He’s been honored with the Leaders Heart.”


During the dream it never occurred to me that the dream could be about my dog Butters who I had to put to sleep 2 days earlier. It wasn’t until after I woke up and thought about the needle and recalled the vet administering the lethal dose to put Butters to sleep.

As I was waking up I kept hearing the words, “He has a leaders heart.” I felt it was important to remember. One things I’ve come to realize in these days following his passing is that I was more dependent on him than he was on me. Here I thought he was the one who needed me but in reality now that he is gone I find I am missing him at every turn. My whole life and all its daily activities centered around, “Where is Butters?” and with that addressing all of his needs. I wouldn’t say that I can’t live without him but I would say that I don’t know how to live without him. My life has a huge void in it. He was the moon to my world so intrinsically tied to each other.