The APEX of Life

March 12, 2019

In last night’s dream, I am with OB. I am teaching the baby the ropes on the dream space. The baby is a young adult maybe in its mid-20’s. I can not see my child but I sense it’s presence over my shoulder as if riding piggy-back. I am confident in my training as I systematically walk through the lesson. We are trying to get back to my childhood elementary school to eat at their cafeteria. Along the way, we stop at my Junior high school since it is closer and happens to be on the way. The kids are monitoring the walk up food counter. We say hello and they show us the avocado sandwiches they have prepared for the day. I tell OB we need to continue and go all the way back.

We are almost there. We come to a street which is cordoned off by the police. Instead of the yellow tape the police use a thin baby blue tape which has high technology encoded into the tape. It reminds me of the LED lights used in my aquarium. I tell him they are probably surveilling our every move. We walk under and past the tape and arrive on the playground of my elementary school. It is early and only a few administrators are here. The children have yet to arrive. It occurs to me I should probably show OB how to fly. Even though the play ground where we are standing has more open space in which to demonstrate flight I choose instead to march on to the cafeteria which is the destination.

Now on the front steps of the cafeteria, I take a moment to demonstrate flight. Since there is less space here than on the playground I decide to shoot straight UP in the air. I soar like a rocket to heights not humanly possible. I have so much reserved energy I continue climbing in altitude even after I’ve stopped.

Now floating at the APEX of life and am still climbing from sheer inertia and momentum. I look down in the direction of the playground and wonder how am I supposed to land on the playground from this altitude. I have learned to fly but have I learned how to land? I assume it must be no different than landing from horizontal flight but the altitude is just so great. Slowly as my forward momentum decreases I begin to descend back down and land gracefully on the walkway between the cafeteria and the playground. I feel a sense of accomplishment having successfully taught OB how to fly and returned to my point of origin.

~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

This dream had striking similarity to my dream Wait One Cent (October 15, 1995). I’ve always known this dream to be a pivotal moment in my life. It solidly connected me to my dreams and inspired me to write my book. It left me feeling, “More will be revealed.” It is why I journal dreams today. I’m still looking for clues to the “more” from beyond to guide my life. I think this APEX dream confirms another pivotal moment and that is deciding to have a baby. The dream My Mother’s Name Is Penny which I journaled in 2008 10 years before I even embarked on having a baby links OB with the my penny dream. Some day I will put together another book to tell the story of all the dreams that have guided me to this APEX of my life of having a baby.

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I Cried Last Night

March 7, 2019

In last night’s dream, I am visiting my oldest brother Paz. We are at his house and I am helping him clean and empty his house out so that he can sell it. In the wall between the living room and dining room he has built a nativity manger scene for his daughters to play with. It is about the size of a shoe box with miniature characters. His girls have left it with the last scene they had set up in the box before they grew up and had no need for it anymore. It is the only remaining piece in his house given the box is built it into the wall.

Standing in front of it, I reflect on how life might have been for him raising three daughters. I exclaim, “The house is much bigger now!” My other brother Louie and his family arrive at the house. His wife Maggie mentions there was a snow storm overnight which dropped heavy snow and now the roads are covered. I attempt to look out the window to see the road conditions for myself but I am unable to tear myself away from the manger box. I ask him if he is planning to hit the road for home? He nods as to affirm his decision. I am saddened because it is the last time I will be in this space. Tears roll down my face with a feeling of abandon filling my heart. Why is it our family always has to leave in separate directions?

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

This dream was unusual in that I don’t often find myself crying in a dream. I remember the feeling of loss was so overwhelming. Mainly it was a separation anxiety that I was having to leave on my own and I would need to manage with the snow myself.

Bums Up Diaper Free Time

The Fun Times Guide to EC.

March 1, 2019

In last night’s dream. I am visiting a day care center to view how they care for the babies. In one room there are two babies laying side by side in bassinets. These two babies are my niece Daisy’s children. There is poopie stuff oozing out of one of their diapers. Since I am their uncle, I decide to attempt to change the diaper myself. The diaper are rubber and has held like a cup all the pee. I notice the poop is much more stinky than I would have thought. For a moment, I become nauseous. Daisy walks in at the nick of time with some replacement diapers. She cleans them up and decides to allow them both some diaper free time. She lays the two babies on the floor in the center of the small room on a peach colored carpet. Both babies are bums up. I can see their tiny little hands which are so small I worry I may handle them incorrectly if I were to attempt to play with them or give them some attention.

As I leave the room I run into my friend Stephen who has arrived with his baby. He tells me he feels he doesn’t want to leave my on my own without any help. I had no idea Stephen also has a baby. His baby is much bigger and walks already. He has grey hair and is bald but he still refers to him as his baby.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

A few things which stuck out in this dream were the peach color of the carpet. I remember thinking, I hope that carpet is water proof. I had the same color carpet in when I lived in Palmdale. The idea I could experience nausea in the dream was a first and that I was actually able to smell.

I am very interested in doing elimination communication when the baby arrives so this might be a sign from beyond that it is worth trying and an assurance that I’m not alone. The image I found to go with the dream has helpful tips on EC. Its interesting I glance at all the images available with an idea of what I’m trying to convey looking for the best match. This one I liked and it just so happened it was linked to an EC website.

Faerie Godmother Caught On Tape

February 3, 2019

I had fair number of dreams last night where I was very much engaged with the elements of the dream but I can’t quite place my finger on what I was doing.  The only thing I can remember is when I woke up to go to the bathroom while I was yet resisting the urge to pee, I had a vision where I can see what is a very magical scene.  My awareness is at ground level looking up at a very tall figure elongated from the base to the waist line.  The figure is surrounded by what looks like a blue shimmering faerie jelly.  It is iridescent with glitter stars all over it.  I struggle to look up at the entity.   I can see up to it’s waist.  Wanting to ascend higher, I relax and allow myself to float up along it’s base.  I arrive at the upper body.  Upon seeing the head I immediately have a flash of insight,  I am seeing myself but what am I doing dressed as a Faerie Godmother?  Her wings are infant sized just now growing and developing within the faerie jelly which surrounds her.  Her upper body is disproportionate to her lower body which makes me believe she is floating.  I am so surprised and awake in a gasp not to mention the sense of urgency around needing to pee is pressing against my bladder.

I immediately get up and head on down to the bathroom.  In my head I’m thinking this is a fluke of a dream.  Where did that come from?  Having done my business I return to bed to cuddle with the dog kissing his head I fall back into the dream.  Again I find myself at the base of what is a magical scene.  Faerie dust and jelly surrounds me.  It feels refreshing and renewing as it cascades over me.  I know given the opportunity I must ascend again to see the head.  I want to know if what I saw before it in fact correct.  Relaxing into this state of consciousness I begin to float up toward the waist.  From this new vantage point, I turn to look up at its torso.  Again I am astonished to see myself once again playing with this magical jelly floating high above the waist.  I must be having a good time all dressing up.  How did I get here?  What brought me here?  I almost feel like when someone walks in on you and surprises you while you are fantasizing and dancing around and you don’t want anyone to see your child like innocence, your playful spirit, an adult being a child.  There I stand unnoticed by me yet I know I’m seeing myself.  It feels as if someone caught my galavanting on tape and is playing it back to me.  The wings are baby wings tiny compared to my size yet I wear them with pride believing I can fly.

 

 

Peep Stamps 30 Cents

Children Peeping

January 26, 2019

In this dream I am with someone and I invite him to have lunch with me at my old job.  As I approach the glass door to enter the building it occurs to me I no longer work here.  I wonder if the access code still works for the door and if they would know I entered the building.  I try the code and to my surprise the door opens.  I walk in but worry about inner access restrictions.  I decide to offer him an alternate place to eat across the street at International Square.

We sit down to eat and after we are done I escort him to the metro but he tells me he does not have a metro card.  I take him to a vending machine which sells postage stamps.  He places his money in the machine and pulls the lever for a stamp.  The stamp is returned by the vending machine.  It is reads 30 cents.  Unsure if this is sufficient to ride the metro, I suggest he try his luck with it.  He appears willing to do so.

The cat woke me up so I took advantage of the moment to take a pee break.  Upon returning I closed my eyes and immediately had a vision.  I am seeing 4 children around the age of 7.  All are lined up facing me stooping slightly as if to peer into my life.  My attention immediately awakens to the thought one of these young peeps might be OB and if one is OB then the others must be the MBs who are on ice.  The first child comes in for a closer look.  He has light straight light brown hair with his bangs touching his eye browse.  I can see him clear as day.  My heart warms with the thought of OB.

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Souls for Santa’s Shoes

January 16, 2019

In last night’s dream two story lines are playing at the same time.  I am at work and have given notice that I will be changing positions.  As I’m ready to leave, I am having flashbacks reminiscing of the times I have spent here.  In the flashbacks is where the story lines diverge.  The story lines are my work and my home life with Joe.  I am separating from both of them yet they share common elements.

I can see the work stations at the helpdesk where I sat for many years.  There are two stations, plus one for the supervisor that is off to the side and an office with a door for the boss.  I consider what my life would be like if I stay at this job.  I’m looking to gather my computer equipment to take home with me but I seem to be missing my monitor.  There is something I need to do on the computer before I leave and I am unable to visualize what that is without the monitor.  My mind computes what needs to be done to separate myself from my ex Joe.  I think back to the many days I spent in Miami.  I am trying to gather my things and account for everything.  The monitor was working when it was in Miami.  I reconcile with the fact that during these last years I’ve not been with Joe so it seems an easy decision to part ways with him.  I ask why didn’t it work? The thought comes to me it is neither here nor there but I am confident I will be able to access what I need without the monitor.

There is a little boy with me.  He is having a slumber party with a friend of his who he is trying out as a sibling.  I think he is considering whether he wants a sibling or not.  He tells me it was fun for the first day but that the baby sleeps too much so we should leave and go on our way.  Feeling this is an acceptable response I gather my things and ready myself to go.

I am now looking for my desk chair to take with me.  I reminisce back to the day I first sat in this chair.  We were making shoes, Santa’s shoes.  We were deciding which souls to put in them.  I can see the leather shoes Peter Jelen is stitching for me.  (I met Peter at the Green Man Festival one year in Greenbelt and he made some shoes for me.  I had him make the shoes with an ambigram of the word DNA.  The letters were cursive and read the same right side up or upside down.)  In the dream, I can see the red and green shoes he is stitching together.  They are still without souls.  I look around me for material suitable for the souls.  I know the material needs to be durable and long lasting because their journey is long.

The Guardian: BaghDaddy TOVR

The Guardian: The birth of Baghdad was a landmark for world civilization.

January 5th, 2019

I had a very bizarre dream last night could be as a result of having a terrible cough.  The dream goes like this: I’m attending a theatrical performance.   A tragic drama.  I’m not so much scared at first because after all it is simply a reenactment.  I can see how the scenes play out and how the props are positioned for the show.  A part of me seems familiar with the story line as if I’ve seen it before but it feels live now.

On a side bar, my neighbor and I applied to be extras in the performance for extra money.  Both of us were selected to be audience participants along with a third friend who I am sitting with.  The theatre is dark so I call out to my neighbor Janell and she responds.  She is sitting in a separate section of the audience.

The performance begins.  It is a story similar to the Wizard of Oz where everyone feared the Wizard.  They show us how the Wizard’s face is illuminated on stage.  The actors are given a drug to induce an altered state of consciousness during the performance.  The drug projects their inner world,  their fears and aspirations, onto the stage for all to see.

Once it begins I am somehow sucked into the drama, yet a part of me is aware I might possibly be in a dream or at least I have asked myself the question.  The drama is so moving I am swept up in it and loose myself in the experience.

I now find myself on stage playing out a scene where I am at home looking out my kitchen window and notice the Venetian blinds are broken.  I suspect my neighbor Evelyn has something to do with it.  I wonder if I am actually at her house because I don’t recall a window in my kitchen.  Considering they are broken, I pull the blinds off the window.  We are now sitting around the kitchen table talking about the performance as if it had passed, yet the effects of the performance are still present.  As I look around the room beyond the boundaries of the kitchen I notice it is not actually a kitchen we are in some kind of barn or circular enclosure something similar to where you might heard horses around a circular track to show them.  I am told we are actually in Baghdad and we need to secure passage back to the US.  I am confused how in the F.. did we get to Baghdad.  I tell them this makes no sense.  They explain the performance took place in Baghdad and that’s how we arrived here.

Someone passes out credit cards with pictures of people on them.  They are credentialed cards which we are told to take them and make them our own.  Again I complain, this makes no sense.  I then ask what am I to do with my dog?  They respond that dogs are not allowed passage to which I say well then I’m not going without him.  The person motions to me to simply ignore the dog.  So I place my dog butters under my shirt as if I were pregnant.   I mutter to myself, “I’m sure they will figure this out.”

Next I’m told that we have to each take a bride.    Escorting a line of young women who look way too young to be brides to me.  Each one is already pregnant.  We are told the children need homes and therefor we are to marry them and secure safe passage back to the US for ourselves and the bride we are trying to help.  This is a humanitarian effort to help the women with children.

I am presented with a young girl with long curly brown hair and golden highlights.  Her hair is messy as the living conditions here are not ideal for proper grooming of a young lady.  I’m told to secure safe passage for her and her child to be.  Again I’m thinking this makes no sense.  If this is a dream why does it look so real to me?  I am curious to see outside the circular barn we are confined in.  Looking across the room I can see between the shutters across the way a sign reads vertically,  “TOVR.”

I think to myself, this is too real I’m getting up.  With that thought I awoke from the dream.

~~~~DREAM ENDS

Extremely bizarre dream because it felt so real.  I remember being in the dream and asking if this is a dream why won’t it end.  When I woke, I didn’t know whether to wright it off as a cough sick mind hallucination or something I should actually journal.  I’m glad I did because it was only after I journaled it that things started to make sense to me.  I’ll reserve some of the interpretation to my private musing but will say it rang true on many levels.  Especially when I searched for an image.  I wanted something circular related to Baghdad.  I simply did a Google search for Baghdad.  Half way down the page I came across this circular image.  From the thumbnail, I couldn’t tell much about the image other than it generally resonated with my dream.  Once I clicked through and saw the article from The Guardian which is something I was asked to be for the bride and child in the dream but amazingly it also was about the birth of baghdad.   Obviously and most likely a play on words Bag Dad.

Another striking ah ha moment was the word TOVR.  I was sure the word was nonsense.  Simply ramblings of the mind but I pulled it up on Wikipedia and found some clues to the riddle.

Tobar or Tovar, a Spanish village ruled by the Tovar family in the Middle-Ages, place of origin of the Tovar surname.  Tobar is located in a valley, surrounded of small hills, the Hormazuela river crosses the village from north to south.

The economy is based on agricultural farmers, mainly cultivating cereals, wheat and barley. The soil has lots of lime, but is very fertile, providing good harvests most years.

Tobar has a continental climate, very cold in winter and very hot in summer. The minimum temperature in winter can get to -10 °C; in summer the temperature can get to 35 or 40 °C, but summer evenings are cold, getting sometimes to 10 C°.

 

Tovar, a fictional character from The Strangerhood
Tovar is the token ethnic minority of the group. He has a very strong and silly accent, and tends to be absent-minded, which leads to problems like leaving the stove on and having it catch on fire. Like Wade, Tovar is not the most intelligent member of the group. He also tends to refer to himself in the third person. He claims he has a twin named Tobar, and that being sexy is a crime in his country. It is revealed in episode 17 that the real Tovar was split into two people during the time travel process, creating one that was “pure evil”, and the other “pure moron” (this being the Tovar shown most in the series). Like Evil Tovar, his final fate is unknown, although the 17th episode suggests that his DNA would be liquified and drunk by Catherine, Dutchmiller and Scientist Sam, who stayed on Strangerhood Lane. All that is known of Evil Tovar is that he was sent to his “original time” which apparently is Wall Street, New York 1929, making it possible he started the Great Depression. Tovar reappears in Season 2, having become a Time God and “helping” keep the timeline safe by lighting things on fire along with the Gnomes. Tovar seals Wade’s new Strangerhood away from time because it will ruin time, but after Wade promises not to create his Strangerhood, Tovar allows everyone to leave.

 

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Pink and Blue

January 4, 2019

In last night’s dream I find myself between two gates.   I know where I am trying to go but believe I can take a short cut through one of the gates.  I walk through and realize it’s the wrong gate.  This side is a prison where all the men where jeans shirts and pants with black trim.  I attempt to return through the gate but am denied access.  I am asked for identification.  I check my back pocket and don’t seem to have it with me.  The guard tells me I must be a prisoner and now have to prove myself.

Feeling frustrated in not being able to get where I’m going I decide to resort to my gift of flight.  I can fly but I can’t seem to fly high enough to overcome the height of the wall.  I decide to walk and find my way.  I come across a room that is hosting exhibits.  I pass by the first and second exhibit finding them extremely interesting.  I wish I had time to study them.  I march on coming up on the 3rd exhibit.  This one is one of numerology.   I pause a bit longer as this exhibit is quite interesting.  It foretells the future through numerology but who’s future?  It occurs to me that the previous exhibits were also an attempt to foretell the future.  I seem to have the images still in my mind.  I’m becoming ever more frustrated wanting to solve the puzzle of what is being foretold and trying hard to get to my desired destination.

I continue walking coming across yet another exhibit.  In this final exhibit I seem to be part of it much like a pawn.   I am so frustrated because now I want to return to the other exhibits to study them further.  Feeling I’ll never achieve my mission, I stop the dream and complain about the manner in which I must guess at what the dream is showing me.  I’m tired of guessing.  I refuse to do this any longer.  I’m done!

I am now standing in front of a brick wall.  On one side I see the words, I IN and on the other it says, I OUT.  Mustering all the energy I can, I turn inward wrestling to free myself, I summon all the power I can.  I suddenly see a bust of energy erupting in pink, blue and white confetti.  I am suddenly flying.

Call of the Green Man

December 24, 2018

Last night’s dream was quite amazing.  As I was falling asleep for the night I had a vision where I am with a young man embarking on a journey.  A man calls out to us from a distance.  As if calling me into the dream.  I’m unaware I am dreaming because I’m still awake and was about to get up to turn off the lights but at that moment am completely pulled into the experience.  I gesture over to the young man standing beside me asking, “Who is this man who calls from a distance?”  His voice is very familiar to me.  I focus on his face and like a mirage it begins to fade in and out.  The first awareness comes to me, I am visioning.  I’m still curious who the man is who calls from a distance.  In this moment, I am unable to discern who is real and who is part of the vision.  The man next to me feels very real.  He is so much a part of me I don’t even question who he is.  When in reality both are dream figures but it just doesn’t occur to me to ask who is the man standing next to me.  I struggle to get a good look at the distant man’s face.

Cleo my cat jumps on the bed and awakens me.  I get up, pet her and turn off the lights.

I lay my head back down and immediately return to the dream this time I am sitting in a charcoal colored pickup truck on the passengers side.  The driver is the ferry man from earlier.  He reaches over and hands me a key ring with about 7 USB thumb drives.  I ask if he can identify the one we were watching earlier, the one he was just now showing me?  He is too busy to pay attention to me focusing instead on pulling strings to ferry us to the other side.  He dismisses me and say’s, “You’ll find it.”

I am now in a Colosseum where hundreds of people are gathered for an event.  With this many people it is hard to control who enters and is present.  I seem to be the head master or person at the top of the ticket but I don’t have full control on what happens at the periphery.  It reminds me of a scene from Harry Potter.  Magic is happening everywhere.  Everyone knows magic here.  Wanting to verify my audience and test whether my minions are in harmony with my ask, I send out a signal which in essence forces all those present to identify themselves.  The responses come back.  There are a few responses I am not happy with.  A second call goes out to try to harmonize correctly.  It is very much like tuning an orchestra.  They must be in tune with my vibration for us to proceed.  I am still not satisfied with the response.  I hear something in a side room the kitchen.  I walk over to the kitchen but don’t see anyone there yet I can here the clatter of dishes. It spooks me for a moment but I am determined to draw us in harmony.  I walk around the kitchen attempting to come closer and closer to where the sound originates.  I end up following the sound unto a brick oven with a chimney.  The brick all around is crimson red.  I wonder if I am going to get buried alive in here.  I try to fly from this position but am unable to reach any heights.   I sink deeper and deeper into the oven as the brick closes in on me.  I refuse to be overtaken.  I send out yet another signal which causes an etheric clearing to open in the walls of the oven.  A swarm of dragon flies enter.  They are of every color of the rainbow.  They dance as they fly creating beautiful shapes and images of all sizes.  The fluttering of their wings create a vibration. The vibration shakes loose the walls and all the surroundings.  It is our frequency which harmonizes dissonance.  I look up and float through an opening in the top of the oven.

I am now back in the Colosseum.  People gather here.  I see many wear green paint.  I assume the green man is among us.  There are many other nature spirits present.  There is one man with an incredibly full beard.  Someone is giving him a shower to hose off some of the green from his thick curly beard.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

Thoughts in journaling:  At first, I didn’t know whether to record the visioning part of the dream which came early before I actually fell asleep.  I initially didn’t connect the Ferryman with the other part of the dream that followed until i heard the question I ask him regarding the USB drives.  I wanted to see the one he was showing me earlier.  It is at this point when he is busy pulling strings to “ferry” (Faerie) us over to the other side.  Interesting play on words here.  It wasn’t until the I thought the green man was present since everyone had green paint on that I understood the use of ferry.  A green man is a faerie.  So I think he was the green man.

The USB’s were also interesting.  I thought what could possibly be on them? It wasn’t until later that I recalled watching YouTube videos of 8 week sonograms of pregnant women and noticed the doctors often hand out USB thumb drives with the sonogram images for the parents to keep.  I think this equates places it in an OB  category.

Other observation was my time in the oven.  The oven bricks were red and the space felt closed in.  I wonder if is a reference to a uterus.  Could this be a reference to OB?  Are faeries responsible for delivering children?

 

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The Cosmic Egg


December 3rd, 2018

Last night’s dream was absolutely incredible.  My body is being elevated.  I am ascending in the universe at an incredible speed.  I can see the stars all around me.  I come to a point in space where a picture frame hangs in front of me.  I am positioned at a 45 degree angle to the frame.  The frame is metallic and in the center is a white egg shape symbol.  The frame is reflective much like a mirror.

Out of the blue I decide to hold my right palm in front of the image much like swearing an oath to the object but my intention is to offer the object a blessing by sending it healing energy.  The egg begins radiating an intense light.  I am amazed at how beautiful the light appears in the heavens.

The light causes an elevator door to appear to the right of the frame.  I notice many beings approaching from the left.  I turn to look at the beings now congregating around the frame, immediately to my left.  Taking a good look at them I can see they are shadows of angels because they all have wings.

The elevator door opens and a man appears in the elevator.  The man has dark olive skin and wears a big head dress.  His face looks larger than a typical human might look but yet he has human features.  I wonder if he might be an alien or a heavenly being.  I wonder if this is some kind of space ship.  Why would he need an elevator?  Not wanting the man to see me I take two steps back to blend in and hide among the angles present.  Feeling as though I’m not quite camouflaged sufficiently behind the angels I take two steps to my right.  This last move places me more in line of sight with the being in the elevator.  I turn to slightly giving him my profile.  I can still see his profile out of the corner of my eye.  The man’s features are striking and I wonder if I am the man.  I ponder the coincidence he too offers me his profile.

All of the sudden my consciousness begins to fly at an incredible speed ascending even higher traversing many levels of the stratosphere.  I turn to look behind me to see what happened to the angels who were standing with me.  They appear to be following in flight right behind me.  I attempt to understand what is going on and wonder if I am trying to flee or if they are simply following me.  I turn again to wave at the angels behind me.  The wave causes a few of the angels to dissipate but they are quickly replaced by more angels.

I then find myself in a cargo bay with all the angels we are sitting around after a long flight.  It feels like we are getting comfortable maybe taking off our shoes or flight gear and getting dressed into our normal day cloths.  As I look around I can see their faces clearly and I think to myself, I need to remember all this because it is so incredible.  Someone looks at me as if reading my mind and gives me a peace sign with two fingers.  He is indicating there are two types of dreams, one which I’m familiar with and the other ….. he goes silent here even though he is not really saying anything but yet he is communicating with me.  The second type are those you feel but instead of messaging me telepathically he sends me his feelings.

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