Refuge for a Clover Dragonfly

 

I am laying in bed watching the ethers gather in what look like hands massaging clay where I am the clay.  I want to know who is placing hands on me.  I carefully time my attack targeting one of the hands like a cat getting ready to stalk it’s prey.  Snap!, I grab at the hand with precision.  When my hand grabs the etheric hand I can feel it as if it had substance and form.  The density of the hand startles me as it is not what I expected.  The shock immediately wakes me up with eyes wide open.

I close my eyes in an attempt to return to the dream.  I am with my friend Dinah when a package arrives at her door.  She accepts the package from the post master and proceeds to open it. I immediately recognize the package as one I sent.  I know the box of chocolates is within the packing box.  The packing box is one I used to pack a speaker which was left behind by an Airbnb guest.  Before she opens the package, I know it is not a speaker inside, she will find the box of chocolates which mysteriously went missing in my house.  A box to this day I have not been able to locate.  “I must have sent it to Dinah,” I hear my mind say.  She snips the last piece of tape and opens the box.  Sure enough the chocolates are inside along with some larvae.  I recognize the larvae as faerie larvae.  The larvae are undergoing their metamorphoses.  They are long and white with narrow wings.  Each has a purple and green luminescence within their body much like a dragon fly.  A man walks over and asks, ” Can I buy them from you.  We have great need for those here.  They serve a good purpose.”  To which I reply, “You can have them.”  He then replies, “Oh no they have great value. ”  “In that case give me one dollar for each,” I say.  Another man steps in and says, “Oh no, they are worth far more than one dollar.”  To which I say, “Well then how about $45 dollars.”

One of the insects stings me in in left arm burrowing its head below my skin much like a tick.  Having read how one should respond to ticks, I pull the body back stretching the neck like an umbilical cord cinching it to cut the blood supply.  I wrap the cord around the head which is still below my skin.  The eyes look back at me as if in an effort to ask for it’s protection.  I believe it will now simply come out when its ready.

My attention is now drawn to a set of windows in the distance where the government of Columbia is torturing Space Aliens.  I can see the Aliens have hands raised as if to surrender.  I only see their forearms to the tips of their fingers.  One of the aliens has three long fingers typical of aliens.  The other has five possibly an alien closer in resemblance of humans.  Both are showing sings with their fingers in an attempt to communicate a message to me.  The three fingered one has it’s fingers with the symbol of a triangle.  The other has fingers and knuckles in the symbol of clovers.  I feel compassion for the suffering of the aliens as I believe all life is sacred.  I then see a tiny alien laying rigid on a table.  He looks to be dead.  I ask if we should dispose of the body.  To which I’m told we can leave him there.  As we turn to walk away, I look back to give the dead alien a second look.  I somehow know he is simply playing dead.  He moves to signal he is OK.  I wink and feel good know he is alive.

~~~ END OF DREAM

Dragonfly Meaning

The dragonfly is generally associated with the symbolic meaning of transformation. Here are common meanings for this animal totem:

  • Change and transformation
  • Adaptability
  • Joy, lightness of being
  • Symbol of the realm of emotions, invitation to dive deeper into your feeling
  • Being on the lookout for illusions and deceits, whether are external or personal
  • Connection with nature’s spirits, fairies realms

 

 

A Horse is a Horse, of Course

May 11, 2018

Last night’s dream I don’t recall very much.  What I do remember is seeing the same repeating patterns over and over and over again.  I find myself gazing at beautiful blue, grey and now black shadows.  The image is presented to me much like a filmstrip in a movie theater as the credits go past the screen but instead of words they are patterns of blue, grey and black.  I associate blue and grey with OB from previous dreams and here the dream has introduced black.  The grey is comprised of what looks like patterns of leaves.  As the patterns pass by from bottom to top they invoke feelings as if generated by bubbles of emotion coming up from within me and onto the screen of my mind.  I am flooded with wonderful feelings of joy.  I am relaxed and free.  I take notice of the dream and desire knowledge on how the images are constructed.  I am able to determine a repeating pattern.  At this point the pattern stabilizes and comes into focus as moon struck images. I’ve not seen moon struck images in many years.  I can see the shadow profile of a man kissing what appears to be a horse or camel on the cheek.  I can only see the shadow of the neck and head of the animal.  He kisses and pats the horse in a sign of love, appreciation and admiration.

I  suddenly realize there is a man standing in front of me.  He wears a shaved head and face with about what would amount to a 3 day stubble all over.  I can see the man’s eyes as he looks dead set at me.  I know or am told I am the man.  Yet why would I be without a beard?  For a long time in my dreams, I was not seeing any men’s faces with beards.  I always thought it strange considering I am a lover of beards why wouldn’t my dreams hold more bearded men. I remember after coming to the awareness of it my dreams began introducing bearded men or possibly I became more aware of them. It seems strange for me to be witnessing a shift to the past as my dreams once were with moon struck images.  I sense a time shift occurring.  

DREAM ENDS HERE.

Something magical happened on this day.  The fertility clinic is requiring my GC IM to have a consultation with a MFM doctor.  She told me today that her midwife referred her to someone who she then called and made an appointment.  His name is Dr. Christmas.   What a magical coincidence.  Because the calling I had last year to do Santa was so strong.  I had so many dreams and visions with Christmas themes.  Unfortunately I wasn’t journaling during this time.  I remember having this one vision where I saw three cartoon children playing in the snow on a hill.  They were playing tumbling rolling down the hill.  As the tumbled down a windy path toward where I was the last tumble before they popped their heads up when they came up out of the snow they each had a white full Christmas beard and they all looked just like me when I was a kid.  It was so cute it just melted my heart.

I remember one dream where my bed was a sleigh ( I actually have a sleigh bed) and I was sweating under the covers and every time I moved or shifted my weight the humidity from under the sheets would rise and create snow all around us.  As we traveled on the bed my family and friends were with me on the sleigh we would make stops some in dangerous places where we had to hide under the covers.  It was hard to hide or go unnoticed because it kept snowing out of character.  Luckily the evil criminals never suspected anything believing instead that it was just an unusual anomaly.  I remember at the last stop i poked my head up from under the covers and father time with a long grey beard was sitting on the bed.

I rejected the messages that somehow I should be a Santa.  I also didn’t think I could be around children.  My self image of parenthood or Santa was so low.   Why would parents want a gay Santa?  As the holidays approached last year I began hearing the suggestion from so many friends I couldn’t hide anymore.  The universe wanted me to be a Santa.  I thought I could possibly visit nursing homes in costume (purposefully avoiding anything with children) I didn’t want to be rejected.  I ordered the costume online.  I ordered the best costume I could find with real leather boots and leather belt.  The boots literally arrived on Christmas eve.  I only wore the costume to some parties friends were having.  Although I did call some nursing home I didn’t have to courage to actually go.  Maybe this year with more time I’ll work on building on that courage.  I did get really good feedback from friends.

So I don’t know the full extent of this Christmas reference in the surrogacy process but I do know it’s all over the place.  It’s the universes intent.

 

 

A Family By Choice

I have been wanting to look back through my dreams for times when OB might have shown up in dreams.  I’ve journaled so many dreams that I can’t possibly remember them all.  One thing I love about WordPress is the ability to search the database for key words and to organize your dreams by associating categories.  Outside of my book, this WordPress is a black hole for my dreams.  For the most part all these years I journaled them once and moved on never really returning to them.  I knew someday I would need them.  I think the day has come.

Today I reached a new mile marker in the surrogacy journey.  I met with my surrogate and her husband at the fertility clinic for some pre-screening.  This was the first time meeting her husband and the 2nd time meeting IM.  It all went amazingly well.  I am so blessed to have been matched with IM.  Thanks to IM I now have a new family by choice.  I think it is going to be a very rewarding journey.  I already know it is spirit approved because of all the faerie dust that has graced my life.  The magic is beyond words.

The desire to have a little one has been something that has haunted me for a long time.  I’ve had so many subtle nudges from spirit as to the direction my life’s mission is to be fulfilled.  So much so that I simply cannot ignore them.  I had to acquiesce.  And I say acquiesce mainly because for a long time I didn’t think it was possible.  Single gay man at 54 having a baby are you crazy?  I would have loved to do it long time ago but now?  Why was spirit pushing me to have a baby?  And the more spirit pushed me in this direction the more my own inner true desire to be a parent came to the surface.  Till I just couldn’t deny myself this gift God is about to give me.  I do know IT WILL HAPPEN.   I have so much to write on this subject.  I thought I would start by collecting all the dreams and checking their categories.  So I did a search and this is the first dream I happened to click on.  Again I am floored.  Firstly, the dream is like no other dream.  I must have had it when I was very much engrossed in dream work because of the detail within the My Mother’s Name is Penny.

I’m amazed that in this dream the span of time seems like a story from my daily life.  For a time as I read it I questioned whether it was this really a dream? So precious is the message.  I wish I knew all the answers.  Just like in the dream I sit here fascinated by the life of Penny.  I keep reading her post cards that come in with the nightly Currier; the dream.  One message I get from this dream is that OB has a mom.

 

Cat Tail Walk

May 5, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself looking for an Airbnb which I have reserved.  It is a shared space.  I drive around the block twice looking for the parking lot.  I am struck how my memory has full awareness of this location even though I don’t recall ever being here before.  This confusion causes me to miss the parking lot entrance even though I know exactly how to get there.  Once I put my trust in my inner voice I am able to find the parking lot.  I proceed to enter the rental unit and take a shower.  I am in the shower with my socks on yet my socks are not getting wet.  I now feel refreshed.  I return to the bedroom I believe I rented but find there are two other individuals staying in what I believe is my space.  I address the issue with the host who tells me that IS my space.  I complain I rented the space for myself and assumed the house was shared not the bed I’d sleep in.    Upset, I demand a refund.  The man tells me he will issue me a refund but he can’t do it immediately.  He can send it to me in the mail.  I feel vulnerable knowing I don’t have lodging.  I enter the three bedrooms to advise the guests about the discrepancy and injustice for them to witnesses the transaction occurring.  Like cockroaches to light the guests scatter to busy themselves.   I decide I will simply return home and consider it a loss. I feel justified in having received a refreshing shower and I’ve not lost my socks.

The parking lot sits on the top of a hill and there are steps which lead me there.  At the top of the stairs is a walkway bridge with only the side railing and nothing to walk on.  There are inner city children playing here unsupervised.  The children are fearless.  I wonder where they found the courage to do such risky things.  There is a 2 yr old crossing a bottomless bridge.  He is unafraid of falling.  He has a cat’s tail on his diaper that allows him to balance on the railing.  He has obviously done this before and is up to the challenge.  I ask where the mother is but the kids don’t yet speak so they are unable to communicate with me other than to simply acknowledge.

As I woke up I ran to the bathroom and returned to get a few more minutes of sleep.  As I closed my eyes I could see a black and white picture of me.  The image came in closer and closer such that I could see the fine pixels which looked like rice.

Symbolism of Rice

Rice is an ancient symbol of wealth, success, fertility and good health. It is powerful.  Tossing rice at the end of the ceremony is meant to symbolize rain, which is said to be a sign of prosperity, fertility and good fortune. 

Addendum: Socks At The Kids Table

DREAM FEARLESSLY

This isn’t a dream but it came to pass that I met a guy who happens to have a thing for socks.  It just so happens I had planned to have a date with this gentleman who I will name CJ.  I became aware that CJ was celebrating his birthday the week of our date so that week I thought it a nice gesture to get him a tiny box of chocolates along with a birthday card and a Mylar balloon.  On the day we were to have our date he had to cancel unexpectedly so I put the balloon in a vase in the dining room because it is pretty and it also gave me the opportunity to dream about the birthday parties I might have someday for my little one.   The card and chocolates I stuck in a drawer.

Later I had the Kids Table dream where in the dream the little boy re-appears to give me a piece of chocolate.  I knew my little one was calling my attention to the box of chocolate I bought for CJ.  and quite interestingly it had writing in it, writing I recognized as something I had written.

When I finally came around to having that date with CJ, I went looking for his gift.  I knew where the balloon was I just couldn’t remember where I had put the chocolates and card.  After looking all over the house I finally found the card but the box of chocolates was still nowhere to be found.  It was not in the most obvious place with the card.  I knew there could be no way I would have put all three pieces in 3 distinct places.  The box of chocolates had to be in the drawer with the cards but was mysteriously absent just like the sock that mysteriously appeared in my house one night. Yes a sock had mysteriously appeared in my house which I journalled as Mysterious Sock.  I must have originally named the post Mysterious Booty because the link WordPress assigned to the post is Mysterious Booty.  Interesting double meaning to the choice of words because CJ who you might say was a booty call has a thing for socks.  He likes them so much he wanted me to wear socks when I answered the door.  He wanted to see me wearing socks.  I felt a strong association with the missing chocolates and the socks.

Now I’ve been a bit reserved on explaining some of the meanings in the dreams because I have just not been ready to do so.  Backing up a bit if you haven’t guessed I’m in the process of having a baby.  How I came to decide to pursue this dream of having a baby is a long story which I will tell at some point.  Here i will say that the image of my child has been ever present in my dreams.  So strong that I simply cannot over look it.  The day the little booty sock showed up in my bedroom I took as a sign.  A physical manifestation or signal from spirit that this is what I am supposed to be pursuing.  When my little one who I will call OB1 (after Obi Wan Kanobe because it is a force to be reckoned with) showed up with the chocolate and having left the sock I just felt compelled to give CJ the magic sock after all he really likes socks and OB1 had given me his chocolate sock.

So after my visit with CJ we came to a point in our conversation where he was telling me that he is an elementary school teacher.  I then mentioned that I may someday need advice.  I then asked him if he had noticed my vision board in my bedroom where I have cut out magazine pictures of babies.  I also have on there a few pictures of handsome men who can ether represent what I would envision my son to look like as a grown man or if God so chooses (lord knows I’ve prayed) a handsome man for me who is worthy of a relationship.  I also have one special picture I cut out of a man especially for me.  He is an uber handsome man who wears a T-shirt that reads DREAM FEARLESSLY.  As we were looking at my board I suddenly realized the one picture of the man I placed in the middle with the Dream T-shirt looks exactly like CJ.  A striking resemblance.  Maybe someday I’ll ask his permission to post his picture here. It’s nothing short of a miracle.

Now I am not jumping to any conclusions oh CJ although he is definitely handsome as one can be but with all the heavenly chimes ringing there is a a message obviously intended for me.   I take the message to be God has heard my prayer and has clearly demonstrated nothing is beyond his capacity to make manifest and he / she does communicate with me in dreams.

If I look at my board I had placed a picture of a beautiful woman who is pregnant in a rainbow colored bathing suit smiling and enjoying the sun.  I place her there so that God would bring me a surrogate.  I have been matched with a surrogate with whom I also share a magical story.  See Santa’s Paradox.  The morning I was introduced to her I woke up to find the Grinch sitting beside my bed.  That day I received her profile and one of the pictures was of her and her family during Christmas with her husband dressed up as the Grinch.

Dreams are so incredible with a wealth of fairy dust to guide.  It’s ashamed we don’t spend more time reflecting on them.  I hope to someday share with OB1 how it came to be.

__________

Side bar: The Tab is on Me: Why 753?

 

 

 

Stroll On A Bird’s Perch

There is a guy who looks like David who is sitting at the bar.  The guy is my representative.   He holds the all time record of 117 which is the highest world record.  A new player arrives on the scene who is staring in the game.  He has taken the major leagues by storm.  He is younger than David and now a joint title holder of 117.  The game is being played for the kids to teach them about sportsmanship.  I wonder if David is planning on retiring or if he continues as a mentor.

I am in the upper room of a lodge.   I am with a teacher who does home schooling.  She shows me a small bird that only has one or maybe two feathers.  The delicate bird is so small and just now beginning to grow.  I notice the cage doesn’t have anywhere for the bird to perch.  The gravel in the cage looks like cat litter.  I look around for something I can use to provide the bird with a perch.  In the corner of the room is a wooden bird cage with multiple levels.  It is not ready to be occupied but I imagine the day when the little bird might occupy the cage.  As I look out the window I see across the valley a house fire.  The fireplace is on fire and threatens the hillside.  I am pushed to evacuate but feel conflicted about the bird and how I might save it.  I wonder where my animals are.  I notice the door has closed behind me and wonder if I have locked myself in.  Am I trapped?  I turn the knob to find the door opens freely.  I then walk through the door.  On the other side is an office space where half of the room is nicely decorated in solid wood paneling which gives it a very rustic appearance and the other half is more conventional and utilitarian.  I see a stroller in front of me and think to take the stroller with me.  The stroller has two parts.  At first I am pushing both parts separately which makes driving the stroller difficult.  I quickly learn I can fold one part and place it in a secured area within the stroller.

As I awoke from the dream I saw an image of the Grinch.  This time his furr was a mustard green color.  His eyelashes looked golden and the sunlight shimmered on his furry face.  He then smiled at me in acknowledgement.

 

 

The Kids Table

I had a dream where I am trying to coordinate a flight with my ex Joe.  I have to find a place to park my car but the airport parking lot is full and I’m told by the parking attendant that there is a detour and he advises me to find another option.  He points me in the direction of a metered spot but I am suspicious of that spot because I don’t want to get a ticket just in case I don’t get back in time to pick up the car.  Instead I go looking for another parking space.  I am able to find street parking nearby.  I don’t know when the flight is but I do know it is scheduled soon.

I then find myself trying to save my goldfishes.  Someone has placed them in a bucket with very little water.  The fish are struggling to swim.  I feel a strong connection to them as if they were my children.  I go looking for a water bottle to try and save them. I find a blue and grey bottle in the kitchen cupboard.  I fill it up with water and pour it in the bucket only to find the bucket has holes everywhere.  Someone is trying to sabotage my effort. One of the fishes is already dead.  Mocha and Cleo now eat the fish not knowing they are special.

My brother Paz is trying to entrap me between a concrete wall. Paz  has sided with Trump and is now a terrorist.  He is jealous of my spiritual connection and wants to kill me or have me go missing so that he can claim my property.  I’m really tired of dealing with the Paz’s character and decide I will no longer be part of it.  I refuse to give him power over me.  I step into my faith in the knowledge that I am OK regardless of what Paz is  doing.  I then surrender and step into the space between the  concrete walls.  My friends Toni C and Stephen are here along with other friends from various groups who have come to this space to support me.  The space between the walls begins to provide a clearing.

Those gathered here tell me that they have gathered my seed and I have born a child but that the child has the defect of illegitimacy.  They bring the child to me and I feel compassion for his situation.  I take the child and he grows up in my arms.  I teach him how to fly and watch him become a man.  We take flight together and become one.  I feel him against my loins and groin and in my spirit with a feeling of ecstasy.  The feeling is beautiful and overwhelming.

Now in full flight we ascend to an elevation high above to the tops of the buildings where I see a bezeled window with a cut out shape much like a cookie cutter opening.  The opening is large enough for my spirit to pass .  We pass through the opening.

We are in flight.  He is now a full grown man.  Having taught him everything I pass my power to him and now he carries me.  I can feel the wind touch my body.  We are facing each other.  I am moving backward as he is moving forward.    Its time to find a resting place.  As we descend he becomes younger and younger.  Once we land his presence leaves me.

I then find myself sitting at a wooden picnic table where I meet a man.  He is seated beside me.  I am talking to the memory of my son as if he were still with me.  I feel silly talking to someone that is not there.  I’m afraid the man seated next to me will think I’m crazy.  I am telling the man about my dreams and how wonderful they are.  I’m getting confused.  I can’t distinguish whether I’m dreaming or not.  Although I am in a dream, I do not feel like I’m dreaming.  A young boy comes up to me from out of the blue.  Without skipping a beat, I continue talking to him as my son.  He tells me about school and what he is learning.  We have a fun conversation about playful things.  I share with him how my life is.  He then runs off telling me he needs to head back to school. As he is leaving, I remind him how much I love him.

I then resume talking to the man who is sitting next to me.  I tell him how my dreams reveal my son.  I struggle to describe what I have experienced in all its fullness.  You have to be present to fully appreciate the magic.  Once again I feel silly believing the man will question my sanity.

In that moment from out of the blue a young boy appears to hand me a chocolate.  The chocolate is wrapped in an orange shinny tin foil paper with crinkled edges.  I open it to find a hand written note inside.   Reading the note, I recognize it as something I have written.  In that moment the universe opens up as my awareness expands.  I am fully aware of the dream and the magnitude of what it presents.  I am in a dream yet I am awake.  I experience synchronicity and deja-vu in the dream as in my waking life.  Knowing this is my opportunity to see my son’s face,  I take a good look wanting to know if he bears any resemblance to me.  I am surprised to find that he is the same person as the λλale Carrier from my previous dream where I asked him if he had any male for me.

 

Marigold Crystal Biosphere

I’m in a biosphere.  They are planting grasses and cultivating the soil.  Some here are partially naked.  There is a light skinned black guy with a curved semi erect penis who smiles at me as if I know him but he doesn’t really look familiar.  He apparently likes me.  There is a baby blue and grey car nearby which they are licking clean.

I then see a man dressed in a deep orange red suit.  He has stitching down his arm like an embroidery.  The stitching is being sown in real time.  My eyes follow the stitch down his arm.  The process of watching the stitch pulls my consciousness into a new dream where I am in a bathroom in a building.  I find myself standing in front of the sink.  Someone has left a freezer bag with crystals in it.  I believe them to be of some value and I would like to keep them but I feel I might get caught for stealing it.  I think it might be a trap.  I see a vent in the ceiling and have an idea to stuff the bag in the vent to hide it temporarily.  As I open the vent and attempt to reach in I can hear someone in the vent possibly watching my action.  I decide to take a risk and keep the bag with me.  The bag then becomes a wooden crystal bowl allowing me to hold it such that no one would recognize it as the bag of crystals.  Leaving the building I’m confronted with a man in an elevator pushing a stroller.  He pushes the stroller past me and exits the elevator.  I then exit the elevator too letting him know by my action that he needs to step into the elevator and take responsibility of the child. “This is your baby you brought him here.”  I’m thinking he needs to take care of his child.  I then go looking for another elevator closer to the room where I was previously.  I am looking for room 1736 and the bank of elevators that will take me to 1736.

When I woke up I grabbed my voice recorder and began recording the dream.  In a rush because I had over slept I was recording the dream and making my coffee and heating up my croissant all while recording the dream.  I knew all the noise would be on the recording but figured I’d still make out the important parts of the dream to journal.  Here is where the magic happens.

I remember having a ceramic singing bowl so I went looking for it but couldn’t find it.  The next best thing I could find was a Tibetan bowl which I grabbed thinking I could honor the dream by setting the bowl possibly with some water on my alter.  Sitting there having my coffee and breakfast I thought water just didn’t feel right.  I had to put something else in the bowl as an offering.   I then thought I’d grab a few seeds from last years harvest of flowers from my garden an place them in the bowl.  Remembering where I had stored my seeds I grabbed from the cupboard a freezer bag which contained other bags of various seeds.  Standing there looking at the bag I had an ah ha moment.  The bag looked just like the bag of crystals in my dream.  I then placed my marigold seeds in the bowl and sat back down wondering to myself whether that was a coincidence or the magic of the dream.  I then pushed the play button on my voice recorder to listen to the playback of my dream.  I then heard the playback of my dream regarding the man in the orange red suit when my violin caught my eye it was the same color that the man had worn.  I then had another ah ha moment looking at the strings of the violin which if played would run down my arm.  At that precise moment I could hear the noise of me in the kitchen mucking with the microwave closing the door and setting the time which the microwave plays a tone for every button you push it was as if my violin or the thought of my violin on my arm was playing a song.  Just more than an eerie coincidence.

When I sat to journal the dream I couldn’t really place where the dream took place.  I didn’t yet have a word for the biosphere reference.  When the word came to me with which to describe the dream it all made sense.  They were sowing seeds and planting a biosphere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

λλale Carrier

λs I was drifting off to sleep.  I begλn to see beautiful spiraling strands of light pulsating through the ethers.  It reminds me of the heavens where Angels dance.  Their density increases as the strands begin to take form.  Cartoon like images appear and take form as they cluster together.  I can see cells form forming tubules that gather in stands of tubules which began forming a mesh that then enveloped me to carry me off as if in a worm hole.

I then find myself at work.  I feel I have a bone to pick with my co-workers.  I somewhat know I am in a dream cocky in my attitude and with mandate in hand.  I am determined to find what I am looking for.  I WANT THE TRUTH.  I want to know what has been hidden from me and why I have been made to struggle to find it.  I can see the people working in their respective office spaces.  Each has a role to play.  There is a science about it with precision and certainty.  I know my job here to be one in communications.  I study the setup I have in place.  I know it intimately for I am the one who set it up.  The overlords  have been using my equipment to their benefit and withholding information.  I want clarity.  I want transparency.  I see a woman in her cubicle who shares a wall with me.  She is not aware or possibly she is aware but hiding the fact that she knows I am overlooking.  She works to decipher the communication on the wire.  She inconspicuously looks through a post card that serves a dual purpose.  One of concealment and the other of insight.  Used in combination with her computer she is able to decipher the transmission on the wire.   λs I eavesdrop through the transparency of the post card she holds I clearly perceive the hidden strands.  They are not unlike the stands which brought me here when I entered the dream portal.

I know I must press forward.  I leave my cube and enter the main area of this section of the pod where I work.  There is a mobile mail station at a junction point.  Assuming if I work here I must have mail being addressed to me at this location.  I look at the many mail slots on the mobile station not knowing what name I work under.  I can’t seem to find my mail.  The λλale Carrier approaches from the right junction and looks at me.  With authority,  I ask him to hand me my male.   He then asks, “Who are you?”.  Taking a chance, I answer, Ruben Bailey.  I add a clarifying statement and disclose I often don’t pick up mail here so it may have been backlogged.  He then answers, “I’m not aware of any male.” but hands me several flyers which he is delivering to all employees.  I pause somewhat disappointed yet knowing any information received is the next clue and its more than what I had when I arrived.  I am empowered to change. Turning inward, I glance at the flyers and look around to see what is within my control to change.  The flyers indicate there is a ωelcome πeception today.  I move forward to excuse myself with the young λλale Carrier end enter the restricted space where the ωelcome Party is being held.  There are λliens here and I am aboard a space ship which has just landed.  I can clearly see out the windows of the çraft.  I move to a position where I see clearly.  The windows are full length floor to ceiling in 360 degrees all the way around around çraft.  There are so many λliens here who look very different from humans.  I am unafraid yet a bit overwhelmed by their numbers.  I reach beyond any fear and wave in their direction letting then know I have arrived.

Knowing my time is limited, I return to my duties to see what changes I can make to give me an edge with the overlords.  I know they need me for their business.  I also know they can’t do it without me.  They rely on me to harvest the fruit of my labor.  I sit and ponder how I might effect a paradigm shift to better harmonize with my desire and intent.  I play the scenarios to determine their possible outcomes and come to the decision to leave things as they are and take no action.

When i woke up I looked at my phone and noticed my niece had sent me a message.  It became the image of the dream.  It seemed fitting for this dream.

CEDELIA craft = 3- Self-expression, Joy of Living, Creativity, Perfection. Art, Inspiration, Enthusiasm, Perfection, Spiritual-Physical Connection, Communication and Triad Paradigm.
Positive Traits
On the positive side, the energy attributes of the number three resonates with love demonstration, creative imagination, fulfillment, encouragement, and talent. It’s also related to culture, innovative skills, wit, pleasure, freedom-seeking, adventure, free-form, brilliance, non-confrontational, natural rhythm, self-expression, enthusiasm, psychic ability, holy triad knowledge (heaven-human-earth, father-son-holy spirit, past-present-future, thought-word-action). The number three resonates with the energies of the Ascended Masters and their guidance. Three also resonates with expression both artistic (writing, painting, singing, sculpture, etc.) as well as feelings (love, affection, friendship, etc.)
Negative Traits
On the negative side, the number three resonates with indifference through superiority, lack of concentration or focus.

Green Man Addendum – A Measure of Wheat for a Penny

April 6, 2018

Waking up this morning it felt reminiscent of the dream that i had 2 nights ago the night I couldn’t remember my dream.  This is because when I awoke I initially couldn’t remember a thing except for a phone call I had just received  before I woke up.  I heard someone’s cell phone ring next to me.  I looked over at the cell phone and thought it might be mine but on closer examination it wasn’t mine.  I thought I would answer it on behalf of the person whose cell phone it belonged to.  I answer and say, “Hello.”  The person on the other end asks to speak with Nevitt.  I sit up look around the room to see if there is a Nevitt here.  I then realize I’m dreaming and the only Nevitt I know is my neighbor who lives up the street.  It also occurs to me that anytime I hear my cell phone in a dream its from my guardian angel Jennifer.  I was reminded of this fact yesterday when I read my dream from my book which i posted yesterday.   This phone call just didn’t feel like a dream even though it was.  At this point I’m sitting up in my bed looking for the owner of the cell phone which I guess must be me since I am the dreamer.

I got myself up and headed for the bathroom struggling to remember any part of the dream leading up to the phone call.  I then recall seeing my mom carrying a large bird on her shoulder.  The bird had bright yellow feet.  I also recall walking in my mom’s back yard off of Loma Drive in Los Angeles where I see a set of spiral stairs that she had recently put in.  The stairs are made of concrete.  I recall the risers being very smooth and shallow hugging the slope of the hill.  The treads contained large gravel stones that created small impressions and bumps on the tread.   I remember thinking to myself that the steps appear to be very similar to the ones I had had placed in a very similar space.  How is it that they are the same as the ones I recall yet I don’t even recognize them.  There is a familiarity yet there is not.  It felt like a paradox.  I then recall a gathering of people who were celebrating with sparkling water which at first glance looks like Cognac because of the purity of the water and its slight yellow coloration.  This elixir they are serving is referred to as liquid viagra.   Knowing drinking doesn’t agree with me they also have several vials of colored water.  There are vials in every color of the rainbow.  I’m told these too are liquid viagra and suggest that I partake.  I walk over to examine the vials.  The quantities are going quickly as guys are coming over to help themselves.  I decide to take one or two for myself.  There aren’t enough remaining to represent a full rainbow anymore.  I hastily grab two then notice that the person behind behind me is left with only one.  Feeling empathy for him, I offer him mine.  The dream ended there.

So why the addendum? Well during my morning coffee I thought of ways to improve or add to my sacred space.  Calling on sacred objects from the past that I can place in the present to enhance my morning prayers.  I remembered I have a Buddha in the basement which this Buddha also has a host of history that I can share.  We’ve had many a late night conversation.  So I ran downstairs to bring her up.  I always refer to my Buddha statue in the feminine  because she has a feminine sounding voice in my head when she talks to me.  I placed her on a bar stool in the dining room where I can see her from where i sit to have my coffee and morning prayer.  Staring at her and sipping my coffee I realize she is green and she in fact is actually a man.  She is a Green Man.

So today now April 7th, 2018 (tells you how long it takes for a dream to unfold and for me to journal one) I had a PIT Training Course to attend.  PIT is a training that is offered to new Mankind Project Initiates.  I became a Warrior this past March 2nd weekend.  Anyways, the training was held in a Meditation Studio.  Up on the wall was a very large Buddha sitting lotus in a Yellow robe.  Coincidence I think not.

An interesting story around my coming to the Mankind Project relates to another very powerful dream I had.  Before I can tell you about this dream first I must preface it with a story.  It takes me back to the very beginning when … well I will let the book tell it.

 

A Measure of Wheat for a Penny

“And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.”  (Revelation 6:6 KJV)

 

For me, all the magic has revolved around a single penny–a wheat penny.  It began in the fall of 1995 with a series of precognitive dreams.  I had been seeing a therapist who suggested that I journal my dreams to help me get in touch with a host of unresolved issues. I felt very much an outcast.  I was poor, Hispanic, gay, and HIV positive.

I desperately wanted to reconcile my life to God.  My best friend had just passed away from AIDS and I did not want to die without coming to know God.  The precognitive dreams concerned a book that ironically my therapist had also asked me to read.  The book was “Iron John, A Book about Men”, by Robert Bly.  For the last three chapters of the book, I would dream the night before about chapters in the book I had yet to read.  How is it that I knew the story line of the last three chapters in the book before ever having set my eyes upon those pages?  Information that seemed at first to be meaningless hooked my interest and forced me to look around and ask, “Is someone or something out there, or is God trying to get my attention?”

The answer came in a subsequent dream.  This dream is the hallmark of all the dreams in my life. It led me to know there is a God setting everything into motion guiding my path toward self-actualization and revealing my purpose in life.

Dream: Wait One Cent (October 15, 1995)

I am working at an elementary school servicing the lunch lines for the kids. I usually eat my lunch before their lunch hour begins but today I do not have a meal ticket. The supervisor of the cafeteria tells me that she has an extra meal ticket that I can have but before I can have it, I must agree to pick up all the pennies that have fallen on the ground.  I agree and proceed to get down on my knees to collect the fallen pennies.  There are so many pennies that I cannot hold them all in my hands.  They begin falling out of my hands.  I am trying hard not to drop any while at the same time picking up the remaining pennies that are still on the ground.  I am anxious because I want to get my food before it is too late.  I finally get to the last penny and I notice it looks different from all the others.  It is a very old penny with much wear on it.  As I pick it up and look closely, I realize that it is a wheat penny.

 

The next day after I finished reading “Iron John”, I decided to stop after work at Borders Bookstore to buy another book.  At the suggestion of my therapist, I purchased, “Fire in the Belly, A Book about Being a Man”, by Sam Keen.  As I walked out of the store, I quickly took the book out of the bag to page through it.  Standing in front of Borders Books, I suddenly had a very strange feeling of déjà vu, except I could not pinpoint what it was that I had already seen or experienced.   Puzzled, I scratched my head and looked around to try to piece the puzzle together.  My eyes then fell to my feet and to my total disbelief I found myself standing in the middle of a bunch of pennies that someone had apparently dropped on the ground.  Memory of the dream immediately came rushing back into my mind.  There were no nickels, dimes or quarters; only a bunch of pennies.  I could not believe it.

This was apparently just another manifestation in a series of precognitive dreams.  I knew God had to be at work here. I just did not understand what he was trying to tell me.  Remembering the dream and knowing I had agreed to pick up the pennies, I got down on my knees to collect the fallen pennies.  One by one I picked them up.  Would the last penny in fact be a wheat penny?  I just knew in my heart that it had to be true.  I had called on God and this was God’s way of answering.  This was about a dream come true.  In my mind I prayed, “God, if there is something you want me to do, Lord, please make it clear to me now.”

There were dozens of pennies.  When I came to the last penny, I paused, not knowing what to expect.  Were the heavens going to open up?  Was I going to hear God’s voice?  Would an angel appear in front of me?  Since it was already nightfall, I picked up the last penny and stood up and walked over to the window display of the bookstore to have a close look at this miracle penny.  Upon examination and to my amazement the penny was in fact a wheat penny.

I felt overwhelming joy and peace in knowing God was really out there.  On the other hand, I still had no clue what he was trying to tell me. I had a great sense of frustration come over me in not knowing what was being asked of me. “What do you want me to do?”  All my energy drained from my body and I just stood there with my body and head pressed up against the bookstore display window.  With my eyes closed and tears of frustration running down my face, I called out to God, “Please God, what is it you want me to do?”  Nothing.  I heard no voice, I saw no divine apparition, nothing.

“Whatever, let’s go,” I heard my ego say to me.  I wiped my tears and as I opened my eyes and regained my composure, it suddenly hit me. The answer was staring me in the face. I could practically hear God’s voice saying, “I want you to write a book.”

This book is the fulfillment of that request.

 

The saying, “Pennies from Heaven”, took on a personal meaning for me and dream journaling became my connection to God.  For the next 10 years, God would confirm his lessons in my external world with synchronicity by placing pennies in my path for me to find at precisely the right place and time.  The synchronicity of the pennies became unmistakably God’s voice.  Interestingly enough I always found pennies in groups of ones or threes and I knew God in His own way was winking at me letting me know that I was on the right track.

 

For those 10 years not much happened; I did my dream work and studied anything and everything I could get my hands on: Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Edgar Cayce, Self Realization Fellowship, philosophy, mysticism and mythology.  Having been raised Catholic, and being gay, I really did not have a good taste for Christianity.  However, with the sense that God really cared about me, I wanted to give Christianity another try and study it for myself instead of relying on what others had to say.  Therefore, I renewed my interest in Christianity and began studying the Bible independently and with different Christian denominations, including the Mormons. Of course, as soon as I told them I was gay, they all wanted me to renounce my so-called lifestyle choice and be baptized.  Since I would not do that, they eventually wrote me off as a lost soul and went about their business.  However, I knew that God had not abandoned me; he was with me.  I persisted in my independent study and eventually found a non-denominational Christian church that did accept me.  I was baptized by them since I felt baptism into the Catholic faith was not my conscious choice as an infant.

 

Things finally began to shift into high gear in the summer of 2005. I began to see with my eyes closed, colored lights panning back and forth in my field of vision when I was falling asleep at night.  Trying to find the cause of these lights, I researched the Internet and found instances where terminally ill patients often reported having mystical experiences similar to mine several months before dying.  Was I having a mystical experience?  More importantly, was I nearing my own death?  In November of that year, I took a trip to visit my parents in California.  While on that trip one day my sister and I were talking and out of the blue she shared with me that she had this synchronistic thing happening with finding pennies.  She had never shared her penny experiences with me and I never thought to share mine with her.  We looked at each other in disbelief.  I also shared with her my mystical experience of seeing the colored lights.  I affectionately termed the experience “my night lights”.

I took this coincidence to be a sign from God signaling me to put pen to paper or fingertips to keyboard and began the actual writing process for the book He had wanted me to write.  I still did not know what God wanted me to write about, but I assumed it had to do with my life experience and dream work as a source of divine guidance.

That trip was full of synchronicities but now the synchronicities were shared between me, my sister and the universe. Suddenly the phenomenon involved a person outside of me. We were like kids in a candy store. My sister and I began talking almost every day.

END EXCERPT

The coincidence here is that the Mankind Project basis much of it’s work on the story Iron John.