AAA Air Mail

July 19. 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am responsible for the AAA memberships.  I’m new to this role.  I am receiving all undelivered mail on memberships.  I see the envelops with the names of the members on them.  I am not entirely sure what I should do with them but I feel obligated to get the mail delivered to the addressees.

I am invited to a party.  We are waiting for the doctor to arrive with the drugs that are needed to support our work.  I am not aware of anything and feeling a bit lost and confused.  The host serves dinner.  I eat then prepare to leave.  The host says,  “The doctor has not arrived yet.”   I can’t stay here all night long I have work to do and mail to deliver.  They are blocking my departure so I find an alternate route down a spiral staircase.  On one of the lower floors someone intercepts me and tells me not to leave yet.  The doctor is simply running late.

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Cranberry Bay Hive

Cranberry Harvest

July 17, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am a shark in a large body of water called to protect a bee hive.  Before getting into the role of a  shark i have to put my shark suit on.  I notice the belt I have is extremely long even if I wrap it around twice it is still too long for my waist.  The buckle is held by rubber bands because the belt has been used so much the leather is worn out.  The rubber bands are so old they are no longer holding the buckle on securely.  I look for the bee hive I am to protect.  I find it and turn it over to look for the opening.  The underside of the bee hive looks like a ball of cranberries with fibrous stands holding the red beads together.  The opening looks leathery but is clearly an opening.  I see someone’s finger trying to disturb the opening.  I prevent him from disturbing it.  The finger was trying to close the opening.  I fix the opening allowing the bees free passage in and out of the cranberry hive.  There is a white milky substance oozing from opening of the hive.

After thoughts: The belt brought memories of the black belt i have for my Santa suit which is too big for me.   I added a link to the dream Santa’s Paradox because of the tie to the belt and while I was watching news tonight about the Trump fiasco Jill Wine-Banks used the term “preconceived notion” in relation to serving the President with a subpoena to appear in court and whether the Secret Service would allow it and the preconceived notion that he can’t be subpoenaed.  Anyhow I don’t often hear the word “notion” and quite frankly I don’t even understand the word.  I can’t quite put my finger on what it even after knowing its use and the dictionary definition or hearing it in speech.  My book has a passage a quote of a message I received in a dream from a man with a white Santa beard that I’ve never quite understood as it seemed cryptic until today I have some clarity.  

Spirituality is a treasure
to live for all humanity,
to overcome a notion,
in a time when spirits rejoice.

Seeing the cranberries reminded me of the pregnancy videos I’ve been watching specifically detailing the lining of the uterus and I guess I can also see the long belt similar to an umbilical cord.

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My mom and her sisters are all wearing similar dresses that my aunt Helen made.  The dresses are white and baby blue.  There is a room with some old sofas where some young adolescents are hanging out some are trying to sleep there.  The beds do not have mattresses just the springs upon which the cushions would go so they have laid comforters over the springs to lessen the pain.  They are installing a peep hole but this peep hole is about 3 inches in diameter and about a foot long with a large camera inside that allows you to look to the other side.  I pause to think, “That is the largest peep hole I’ve ever seen.”  My mom wears her dress ceremoniously along with her sisters.  I can see them crossing the street walking one after the other.  My mom changes into another dress immediately after the processional crossing.  I ask, why she took the dress off to which I’m not really given a straight answer.  I get the impression she wants to maintain its significance.

THE BABY IS IN THE BAG!

 Kari Strand http://jpgmag.com/photos/3110860
Picture by Kari Strand

June 22, 2018

While on my first MKP Staffing at Claymont Court in Charles Town, WVa it was my first night there we had arrived on the 21st and as customary I was eager to have a dream to share in open circle this morning.  When I was about to wake up I remembered, don’t forget you’re bags.  My mind wanted to recover the dream but the dream interpreted it as my bags.  So I returned to the dream.

I re-enter the dream space to recover my bags.  Sitting in the the right side of an otherwise empty room is one of those grocery shopping bags you take with you to the market to avoid using plastic bags.  I rush over and quickly grab the straps of the bag.  As I turn I become aware of the walls in the dream which are constructed of flowing energy the energy is alive like colonies of ants withing bubbles that float to and fro across the canvas waiting their next assignment.  I recall my purpose completing my turn and glimpse the contents of the bag.  I am expecting to see my cloths and sheets and other articles from the weekend adventure but instead deep in the bad is a baby swaddled in a blanket sleeping.    The surprise jars me awake.

In morning circle I shared my dream and as I was sharing it the meaning hit me, The Baby is in the Bag.  It is quite coincidental I found this picture on the net with a baby boy in a King grocery bag.  If you are familiar with the work men do within Mankind Project you would know we look at our shadows and the archetypes of King, Magician, Warrior and Lover in mythological story of Iron John so the picture seemed PERFECTLY suited for my dream.

 

 

 

Sketch: Side Shoot Process

June 18, 2018

I had a dream that kept repeating all night long.  Every time I rolled over or slightly woke to readjust myself or drink water (i was thirsty all night) I would think about the focus of the dream.  The message was that something had to happen first; a side shoot process.  I clearly see the process in my mind. I held it in my right hand and the main process is in my left hand.  Everyone in my dream seems to want to jump the gun and move directly to the main process.  I keep having to correct them and remind them about the process and showing them what is in my right hand which must come first.  Everyone is excited about moving forward.  The process seems to relate to the surrogacy.  I describe the main process as getting pregnant and implanting the embryo.  The side process I equate to finalizing the legal contract which must come first.  Every time I woke up during the night I felt so good about what was happening around me in the dream.  I feel confident and assured in the process.

The last time I I woke up to roll over I began a new dream which served to clarified the process in my right.  I am in a prison of sorts under confinement.  I don’t necessarily belong here I just happen to appear in the dream in this place.  My friend Quetta is with me.  We are talking and talking and exploring the various realms within the dreamland.  I sense it is time to go as the gates of the prison are closing.  I believe they suspect I am here and want to confine me or entrap me.  We start walking toward the exit or an opening which we believe to be the exit.  As we approach, I sense this to be what the opposing force wants me to do to confine me.  I am unafraid and therefore continue walking toward the opening.  I pass by a set of windows where the guards are seated inside.  I wave at them putting my thumbs in my ears and fanning my palms just like kids do to mock someone.  They immediately react.  I believe I caught them off guard not expecting me to approach this close to them within their territory.  The opening becomes narrower and narrower.   I remain unafraid.  I’m told of an alternate route through which we can pass.  There is a train beyond the opening.  If we can make it onto the train we will be free.  We seem to be high up on the walls looking down on the doors below us.   If we are to leave through the doors we must descend the wall.  Knowing I wouldn’t be able to descend a wall like that in physical form I choose instead to ascend using my dream powers.  As I ascend, my body passes by  a watch tower where another set of guards are stationed.  Again they see me and scramble.  I wave to them in the same way.

I now find myself on the train platform.  The train has just arrived and the doors are now open.  I embark the train but realize I have lost contact with my friend Quetta.  I pause for a moment and wonder if he might have gotten on the train.  Then I remember Quetta is passed away and is no longer with us on earth.  Knowing he is ok and possibly still with me invisible I continue onto the train.  I have no idea where I’m headed.  I sit on the seat and remember I have left my car in the parking lot of the prison.   Yet I’m not worried since I don’t seem to need it for the moment.

As the train departs, my consciousness takes flight.  Instead of simply leaving this place I hover around taking note of what is happening below me.  I recall other dreams where I am able to fly at extreme heights.  I try to ascend to those heights but something seems to be holding me back.  I am on the train.  Trying a new thought, I wonder if I can possibly swivel my seat one would assume the train seat is fixed.  With the thought my seat swivels responding to my want and desire.  Once again I take the opportunity to swivel back and forth over the area now controlling the direction the train is going.  I am able to overlook the space of my confinement to examine how things work here and learn the inner workings and relationships at play.  Those who are following me are simply feet away.

I become aware Quetta is still with me somewhere at a distance.  I am somehow still able to communicate with him.  I tell him there are those who pursue me trying to impede my progress.  I say it very matter of fact as an observation and simply move on with our conversation picking up where we had left off.  I feel like a kite in the air flying too and fro with no real urgency to go in any which direction.  I think eventually I may need to find a hotel to stay in and possibly reclaim my car.  We decide to send someone else for my car and learn the vehicle has been removed and confiscated by the opposition.  I lament briefly believing it was a nice Mercedes but thinking after all it is just a car.

The dream ends here but before it ended I am presented with a few images.  The images look like pencil drawings; outlines.  The first image has the most detail quite possibly the finished product a vision of what is to come.  The screen is erased.  A new image appears.  I see every line being drawn on the canvas until the image is complete.  It too is erased.  Once again a new image appear slowly line by line.  This process repeats with each iteration of the same image differing slightly and with each successive iteration becoming more simplified.  The final few iterations vert simple and they serve as lessons on how the canvas is drawn.  I am allowed to see the lines as they are drawn in slow motion.  The lines have form and intent.  I can see they are purposeful and not random.

 

 

IMAGE: Title: Penn’s greene country towne; pen and pencil sketches of early Philadelphia and its prominent characters
Year: 1903 (1900s)
Authors: Hotchkin, S[amuel] F[itch], 1833- [from old catalog]
Subjects: Penn, William, 1644-1718
Publisher: Philadelphia, Ferris & Leach
Contributing Library: The Library of Congress
Digitizing Sponsor: Sloan Foundation

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Journeyman: Maggie’s Dragonfly

June 15, 2018

I don’t remember much of last nights dream except for the very end after having gone to the bathroom to wiz and during my snoozing i came face to face with a man.  He is the same man from my previous dream.  I am the man.  It feels like the dream wants to give me another opportunity to see myself as I truly am.  This time instead of the image of the man as a picture it is the actual man with substance and form.  However his substance is etheric.  His body is luminescent pale grey and somewhat transparent.  His features are clearly detailed by the hand of a master.  His eye are light blue and his iris’s are full with detail.  I gaze directly into his pupils to see deep within his soul.  His presence remained with me for a fair amount of time in this fully lucid and semi awake state.  I understood this being to be my higher self the greater part of me which is all knowing which transcends time and space.

I am presented with a post card.  The post card is addressed to me.  Where the stamp would go is his image just as he appeared to me over which is the postal carriers seal.  The post card details his journey and the places he has been and his many experiences.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

 

I am often left in a state of awe.  Today is one of those days.  Just yesterday my surrogate IM shared something quite amazing that relates to my dreams in a very special way.  While at Lowes something caught her daughter’s eye when she realized there was a dragonfly trapped in the greenhouse.  She was able to get it onto her hand and walk out to the open garden section where it could fly free.  It flew away but quickly looped back to her and paused for a minute before leaving completely.

Now one might say oh just a dragonfly who cares but in light of the dreams I’ve had recently with dragonflies and the connection to the surrogacy process they bring its just one more affirmation from spirit confirming what is in the heavens being materialized.  Now this was no ordinary dragonfly this one was huge.  Most of the ones I’ve ever seen have been small 1 or 2 inches.  This one was extra large maybe 4 inches with an incredible wingspan.  The dragonfly sat perfectly still on her daughters hand while she journeyed through the store  and outside.  She shared this image.

 

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June 10, 2018

I am signed up to take a course that teaches you how to produce medicine from a cactus plant.  We are instructed to bring a cactus to the class in order to participate in the experiment.  I buy two cactus one is a tiny baby cactus that is barely the size of a pee.  The other is considerably larger.  While at the store, I notice they have a sale on iPods the tiny ones like the one my ex Joe bought me to hang around my neck.  I ask the person selling them how much they cost.  The woman tells me they all are $24 dollars monthly.  I want to know the cost to buy it out right.  They offer several models which they display on maps.

Look At Me Bobby

June 6th, 2018

I had a dream where my mom has a museum where she displays artifacts from history.  The artifacts have religious or spiritual connotations.  Things like tuning bowls, instruments, mandalas etc.  My mom lives in the house behind the museum.  Someone comes into the museum looking for her wanting to borrow my bike. The person is a cousin possibly Victor.  I’m thinking I hope my mom hasn’t started lending out my things to people because these things are things I cherish and have great value and memories tied to them.  I don’t seem to remember how to get to her house.  He tells me they need access to the water lines.  As he is leaving, I tell him,  I am the son of Otilia.  I then discretely follow behind him knowing if I follow him he will lead me to where my mom is or lives.  I may learn more about my mom.  Behind the house is a natural body of water which is very deep.  The water glows orange and yellow in the light of the sun.  He now has lion hair and a furr coat on.  He now reminds me of my cousin Jeannette.  She dives in to retrieve what they need to access the water main.  When she comes out at the other end I tell her she didn’t have to jump in the water with her coat on.  She then takes the coat off to dry it and now she is a man with a beautiful hairy chest.  I think to myself, why would you cover that up his beautiful furry chest with a furr coat?  He rushes off to get his firetruck.  I am looking in the direction where he went waiting to see him return when from behind a truck and trailer approach.  The truck has no sides or top.  I ask him if it is legal to drive around like that.  He gets off the truck and tells me this is his firetruck.

Scenes flash before me like short 3 second movie clips.  Messages from these people come rushing in.  In one clip, I see my son when he is young.  I stop the clip because after all its my dream and I want to see my son.  The dream pauses for just a moment long enough for me to get a good look.

(Click on above image it’s a 3 second clip)

In the time span of a breath I take in his image.  Feeling complete I exhale allowing the dream to continue.  I then see a man who looks at me.  I am still coming off the intense high of seeing my son so I am not paying much attention to anything else.  I feel like I have what I came for.  Again he makes a facial gesture indicating he too has a message for me.  I am still unable to focus.  He looks directly into my eyes and says,  “Look at me.”  I pause long enough for me to get a good look at this man.  The dream ends here as his image slowly fades from my mind.  Who is this man?

~~~~ DREAM ENDS HERE

I then woke up and recorded the details of the dream.  After my coffee I wanted to know who this man was.  Why was it so important for me to look into his eyes.  I said a prayer and walked into my library glancing slowly at the pictures on the shelves.  I wanted to find a picture with someone I can look into their eyes.  I then came to my Grandmothers photograph.  I stared at my Grandma for a few minutes and felt complete.

I then went upstairs to start my day.  The man’s face a man I’ve never seen before yet clear as day in my mind’s eye sat there not wanting to leave me.  I turned on the TV to watch MSNBC.  The news was having a segment honoring Robert F Kennedy.  It was a long segment on his life.  I am slightly annoyed because I want the regular news.  What is going on with Bobby Kennedy today that they are taking so much time recounting his life.  They then turned to a picture of him and OMG it was his face in my dream.  It was his face exactly.

I then went online to look for pictures of him to possibly look into his eyes.  Come to find out today it is the 50th anniversary of his death.  He died 50 years ago at Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles.

My grandmother Simona Camargo also died at Good Samaritan Hospital when I was in the 8th grade probably 1978.  This is the picture I have of my Grandmother in my library.  I worked at Good Samaritan as a candy stripper the summer she died.  My aunt Helen also worked there as a nurse.  I thought it unusual when I came to her picture how perfect it felt to looking into her eyes.  I felt it must have been her.  I thought maybe my grandma came to me as a man in my dream but why would she do that?  Apparently there was so much more to be told.  What is the coincidence that today would be the anniversary of Bobby’s death.  Curious too the image I found online of bobby near the body of water is a 3 second clip much like the clips presented to me in the dream.  Had he possibly been swimming there in that picture?  And apparently he has a hairy chest.  So many coincidences.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was OB I saw before this man showed his face.  Was it then OB all along showing me his firetruck?  I like the picture of Bobby and the little girl.  I imaging myself someday with OB.  I wonder is that was his daughter.  I don’t know much about Bobby Kennedy.  Was OB my Grandma and Bobby all in heaven conspiring to send me messages.  I think so. I am a blessed man to have a direct connection to the higher realms.

May you rest in Peace Bobby.  And to my Grandma I remember you like it was yesterday.  I will never forget you.  Le tengo mucho amor abuelita.

 

Refuge for a Clover Dragonfly

 

I am laying in bed watching the ethers gather in what look like hands massaging clay where I am the clay.  I want to know who is placing hands on me.  I carefully time my attack targeting one of the hands like a cat getting ready to stalk it’s prey.  Snap!, I grab at the hand with precision.  When my hand grabs the etheric hand I can feel it as if it had substance and form.  The density of the hand startles me as it is not what I expected.  The shock immediately wakes me up with eyes wide open.

I close my eyes in an attempt to return to the dream.  I am with my friend Dinah when a package arrives at her door.  She accepts the package from the post master and proceeds to open it. I immediately recognize the package as one I sent.  I know the box of chocolates is within the packing box.  The packing box is one I used to pack a speaker which was left behind by an Airbnb guest.  Before she opens the package, I know it is not a speaker inside, she will find the box of chocolates which mysteriously went missing in my house.  A box to this day I have not been able to locate.  “I must have sent it to Dinah,” I hear my mind say.  She snips the last piece of tape and opens the box.  Sure enough the chocolates are inside along with some larvae.  I recognize the larvae as faerie larvae.  The larvae are undergoing their metamorphoses.  They are long and white with narrow wings.  Each has a purple and green luminescence within their body much like a dragon fly.  A man walks over and asks, ” Can I buy them from you.  We have great need for those here.  They serve a good purpose.”  To which I reply, “You can have them.”  He then replies, “Oh no they have great value. ”  “In that case give me one dollar for each,” I say.  Another man steps in and says, “Oh no, they are worth far more than one dollar.”  To which I say, “Well then how about $45 dollars.”

One of the insects stings me in in left arm burrowing its head below my skin much like a tick.  Having read how one should respond to ticks, I pull the body back stretching the neck like an umbilical cord cinching it to cut the blood supply.  I wrap the cord around the head which is still below my skin.  The eyes look back at me as if in an effort to ask for it’s protection.  I believe it will now simply come out when its ready.

My attention is now drawn to a set of windows in the distance where the government of Columbia is torturing Space Aliens.  I can see the Aliens have hands raised as if to surrender.  I only see their forearms to the tips of their fingers.  One of the aliens has three long fingers typical of aliens.  The other has five possibly an alien closer in resemblance of humans.  Both are showing sings with their fingers in an attempt to communicate a message to me.  The three fingered one has it’s fingers with the symbol of a triangle.  The other has fingers and knuckles in the symbol of clovers.  I feel compassion for the suffering of the aliens as I believe all life is sacred.  I then see a tiny alien laying rigid on a table.  He looks to be dead.  I ask if we should dispose of the body.  To which I’m told we can leave him there.  As we turn to walk away, I look back to give the dead alien a second look.  I somehow know he is simply playing dead.  He moves to signal he is OK.  I wink and feel good know he is alive.

~~~ END OF DREAM

Dragonfly Meaning

The dragonfly is generally associated with the symbolic meaning of transformation. Here are common meanings for this animal totem:

  • Change and transformation
  • Adaptability
  • Joy, lightness of being
  • Symbol of the realm of emotions, invitation to dive deeper into your feeling
  • Being on the lookout for illusions and deceits, whether are external or personal
  • Connection with nature’s spirits, fairies realms

 

Columbia also came up in my dream:  à Daris: Itsay Ouryay Assyay Ownpay

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A Horse is a Horse, of Course

May 11, 2018

Last night’s dream I don’t recall very much.  What I do remember is seeing the same repeating patterns over and over and over again.  I find myself gazing at beautiful blue, grey and now black shadows.  The image is presented to me much like a filmstrip in a movie theater as the credits go past the screen but instead of words they are patterns of blue, grey and black.  I associate blue and grey with OB from previous dreams and here the dream has introduced black.  The grey is comprised of what looks like patterns of leaves.  As the patterns pass by from bottom to top they invoke feelings as if generated by bubbles of emotion coming up from within me and onto the screen of my mind.  I am flooded with wonderful feelings of joy.  I am relaxed and free.  I take notice of the dream and desire knowledge on how the images are constructed.  I am able to determine a repeating pattern.  At this point the pattern stabilizes and comes into focus as moon struck images. I’ve not seen moon struck images in many years.  I can see the shadow profile of a man kissing what appears to be a horse or camel on the cheek.  I can only see the shadow of the neck and head of the animal.  He kisses and pats the horse in a sign of love, appreciation and admiration.

I  suddenly realize there is a man standing in front of me.  He wears a shaved head and face with about what would amount to a 3 day stubble all over.  I can see the man’s eyes as he looks dead set at me.  I know or am told I am the man.  Yet why would I be without a beard?  For a long time in my dreams, I was not seeing any men’s faces with beards.  I always thought it strange considering I am a lover of beards why wouldn’t my dreams hold more bearded men. I remember after coming to the awareness of it my dreams began introducing bearded men or possibly I became more aware of them. It seems strange for me to be witnessing a shift to the past as my dreams once were with moon struck images.  I sense a time shift occurring.  

DREAM ENDS HERE.

Something magical happened on this day.  The fertility clinic is requiring my GC IM to have a consultation with a MFM doctor.  She told me today that her midwife referred her to someone who she then called and made an appointment.  His name is Dr. Christmas.   What a magical coincidence.  Because the calling I had last year to do Santa was so strong.  I had so many dreams and visions with Christmas themes.  Unfortunately I wasn’t journaling during this time.  I remember having this one vision where I saw three cartoon children playing in the snow on a hill.  They were playing tumbling rolling down the hill.  As the tumbled down a windy path toward where I was the last tumble before they popped their heads up when they came up out of the snow they each had a white full Christmas beard and they all looked just like me when I was a kid.  It was so cute it just melted my heart.

I remember one dream where my bed was a sleigh ( I actually have a sleigh bed) and I was sweating under the covers and every time I moved or shifted my weight the humidity from under the sheets would rise and create snow all around us.  As we traveled on the bed my family and friends were with me on the sleigh we would make stops some in dangerous places where we had to hide under the covers.  It was hard to hide or go unnoticed because it kept snowing out of character.  Luckily the evil criminals never suspected anything believing instead that it was just an unusual anomaly.  I remember at the last stop i poked my head up from under the covers and father time with a long grey beard was sitting on the bed.

I rejected the messages that somehow I should be a Santa.  I also didn’t think I could be around children.  My self image of parenthood or Santa was so low.   Why would parents want a gay Santa?  As the holidays approached last year I began hearing the suggestion from so many friends I couldn’t hide anymore.  The universe wanted me to be a Santa.  I thought I could possibly visit nursing homes in costume (purposefully avoiding anything with children) I didn’t want to be rejected.  I ordered the costume online.  I ordered the best costume I could find with real leather boots and leather belt.  The boots literally arrived on Christmas eve.  I only wore the costume to some parties friends were having.  Although I did call some nursing home I didn’t have to courage to actually go.  Maybe this year with more time I’ll work on building on that courage.  I did get really good feedback from friends.

So I don’t know the full extent of this Christmas reference in the surrogacy process but I do know it’s all over the place.  It’s the universes intent.