In last night’s dream I find myself upstairs in my house cleaning and notice OB has returned some wicker baskets I had thrown out. I look over the stair railing the yell down to him to come get the trash. He in turn pokes his head out from under the banister and says those are his baskets implying they are his to decide on whether to keep or throw away. I toss them back down to him before comprehending what he is trying to communicate.
We are getting ready to leave the house on an adventure. Ivy is with us but before leaving the house I notice the ceiling is made of glass or a see through resin. Curious about this feature I examine how the ceiling attaches to the walls and notice the work is seamless. The glass is so thick it appears to have the illusion of water flowing though it as the resin has locked in air bubbles. How did they do that?
I proceed to walk out the front door with OB and Ivy close behind. As I step out onto my front steps the sun is shining bright in the sky. I turn to look to my left and see a field of wildflowers yellow and orange as far as the eyes can see. I remark about the beauty. I then turn to my right and notice the same on my right. Yellow and orange flowers as far as the eyes can see. I am again in awe of the grandeur and beauty of nature. When did I plant that many seeds?
In last night’s dream I am with my MKP group at a retreat. There are many activities planned for the weekend. At the very end there is a ceremonial reception for the MKP Members and their guests. I walk into the auditorium thinking I’ve done this before so I should remember the routine but there is a laissez faire attitude about me where I am not really concerned about getting it right. I simply want things to unfold naturally without my input. Someone comes to assist the new initiates get to where they need to be. Since I am haphazard, I enter through the door where family, friends and other invites are to enter and be seated. I decide to help out with the initiates since now that I have entered through the wrong door I will have to make my way to the member waiting area so I may as well help them make there way to the secret area. I remember there is a door one can use from this side to access the other side. As I am about to escort the initiate through the secret door my cousin Jeanette appears unexpectedly. She is excited to see me and say hello. I pause for a minute to greet her and introduce her to the initiate. In doing so, I become aware of the ceremonial robe I am wearing which is my Halloween Cloak.
After a short greeting Jeanette retreats to the guest area to view the ceremony and I continue on with the initiate to escort him to the designated area where the members wait. Passing through the door we walk down a dark corridor. I reach for my cell phone so it may light my path and upon looking at it, I can see it is smaller and of a higher technology than the one I remember having in real life. When did I change my phone? I can not recall ordering a new phone so this must not be my phone yet it seems to respond to me as if it were my cell phone. Intrigued, I examine it carefully and think back to the last place where I charged my phone. It was in the member waiting area where we are going now. I will attempt to retrieve my cell phone and leave this one in its place as someone may be looking for it.
Now in the member waiting area, I look around for my charger and phone. Not finding the charger I pat down my pockets again for a second time and feel the cell phone in my right hand side. I reach in and retrieve the cell phone. Looking at it, It is in fact my cell phone. With the other hand I reach in to retrieve the other cell phone and notice it is now only the box it came in with the shrink wrap plastic.
At the end of the ceremony everyone is invited to take with them any left over food. I have a particular interest in the fruit pies. They must have been a big hit because they are pretty much all gone. I decide not to take anything back with me because nothing can substitute for apple crumb and peach pie.
~~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
After waking up and thinking about the dream two things really struck me, the Halloween Cloak and the cell phone. First off cell phone always are an indication my guardian angel Jennifer is near by. It wasn’t until that thought crossed my mind that I equated Jeannette with Jennifer since they both sound similar. My mind went back to the first dream where my Guardian Angel Jennifer gave me a cell phone I can use to call her anytime I need her.
Here is the original dream when Jennifer first showed up. Taken from my book, In the Course of a Dream, Emmanuel For Love pg 97.
In Case You Need Me, Speed Dial 4 on Your Cell Phone
am at a county fair where we are guests at a hotel. One of the rooms in the hotel has dining
tables that are laid out with orange and red tablecloths. Each table has a center piece that is
garnished with pieces of dried fruit.
Adjacent to this room is an outdoor white cloth tent where they store
fruit that they have grown organically.
Each type of fruit is stored in its own personal wooden crate. It reminds me of something you might see
displayed at Pottery Barn, except that at Pottery Barn they might be selling
fruit scented candles individually packed in their own little crates.
By force of habit, I take the bug spray and
spray the fruit. I am told that I do not
need to do that because the fruit grown here does not have bugs. I am thinking I might have spoiled their
organic crop. I realize my mistake and
quickly discard the bug spray. Far away
in an adjacent tent, I can see that there is a black lioness who is giving
birth to her cub.
I felt a tap on my shoulder which
caused me to awaken suddenly. As I
opened my eyes, beside me was the figure of an old bearded man who sat in a
lotus position on my bed. I instantly
recognized the man to be Sri Yukteswar, who was the Guru of Paramahansa
Yogananda, who in turn was the founder of the Self Realization Fellowship. I was a student of SRF many years ago when I
first ventured away from my Christian upbringing. I had studied with them for about two years
but never went through with their Kriya Yoga initiation. It was through the lessons of SRF and their
many references back to the Bible and other scriptures that gave me a renewed
and fresh appreciation for scripture.
They helped me recognize God as one and the same across all
Sri Yukteswar began talking to me
about the universe and how the number of the universe was 4. I could clearly see his lips moving but I
heard no sound. I laid there puzzled, wondering
why of all people Sri Yukteswar. I could
understand finding Paramahansa on my bed but not Sri Yukteswar. I knew very little about him other than that
he was Paramahansa’s Guru. He kept
talking and talking and making facial expressions. I kept trying to tell him in my mind that I
could not hear him.
can’t hear you; I can only see your lips move.”
would respond, “Yes you can.”
would tell him again, “No, I’m sorry but I can’t hear you; I can only see your
would patiently reply yet again, “Yes, you can hear me.”
back in hindsight, I realize that even though I did not hear anything audibly
with my ears, I did apparently receive his message telepathically, otherwise
how would I have known what his responses were and his message to me about the
properties of the universe. I did not know how that bit of information would
help me until much later when it became apparent that much meaning is hidden in
astrology and numerology.
He finally faded and I rolled over
and fell back to sleep. A couple hours
later, I awoke suddenly to again find him standing beside my bed asking me for
the time. I looked at my wrist watch but since I was not wearing my glasses, I
could not read the time on my watch.
Instead, I held out my arm and tapped my index finger on the face of my
watch, indicating for him to look at it for himself. He apparently did not want to make the effort
himself to look at it but instead wanted me to tell him the time. Knowing he was not going to leave me alone
until I told him the time, I sat up in bed to look over at my alarm clock,
which sat on the nightstand on the other side of my bed. The digital clock read 5:45am. “It’s 5:45am.”
This was the morning for sudden
awakenings because for a third time I would be roused yet again and with magic
and grace given a code by which I would confirm the existence of my guardian
angel. I had been in a dream where I was
with a group of friends. One of my
friends named Jennifer had taken a special interest in me. (In real life, I do not have a friend named
Jennifer) She gave me a cell phone that had her phone number preprogrammed in
it so that I could call upon her any time I needed her for any reason. She then showed me how, by simply pushing a
single button, it would autodial and connect me with her.
I was standing there with her, she pushed the button to test the phone. In that same moment in real life, I awoke
suddenly. Without even thinking, I
reached over to grab my voice recorder to record the details of the dream I had
just had regarding the preprogrammed cell phone. As I got to the part where I recorded,
“….and she tested it by pushing the button like this,” my real phone on my
nightstand rang. The sound of the phone ringing was captured on my voice
recorder. I did not answer it because it
was too early in the morning so I assumed it had to be a wrong number. I also did not correlate the testing of the
preprogrammed cell phone with the synchronicity of my real phone ringing at
precisely the same time.
was not until later that day when I went to journal my dream into my computer
that I replayed my voice recording and heard the phone ringing in the
background. Then the synchronicity behind it all hit me. Mysteriously, ever since then whenever I have
dreamt about my guardian angel and have gone to journal the dream, the message
indicator on my cell phone would beep to let me know that I have a
message. It would beep at precisely the
right time and not as a result of having been moved such that it had come into
did not know if my cell phone was faulty, but it could go the entire day and
not beep at all to let me know that I have a message. It always beeped at precisely the right time
to let me know my guardian angel was with me.
We are the fruit of the vine. We are spirit having a human experience. That experience can never adversely affect
our spirit no matter what it is that we experience. We are bug-proof. Our fruit may dry and be
boxed away but our mother, the lioness, is continually giving birth to its
Since that dream, I have learned
from one of my spirit guides that Jennifer, whose name is actually Guinevere
(which means “white fay” or “white ghost”), is in fact my guardian angel. I have one spirit guide named Felicity who is
around me all the time. She reminds me
of my older sister. She has shoulder
length straight hair and short bangs down to her eyebrows. Her hair curls forward as it comes to rest
upon her shoulders. She has a signature
trait of closing her eyes and softly shaking her head from side to side like in
the shampoo commercials. In the etheric
world, her hair moves with great body and bounce as if in slow motion. Every time I see her, she does her signature
move as it has a way of pacifying me.
As I am sure you might be wondering,
I would like to share here how I came to know their names. For a long time, I did not know. I just recognized my spirit guides as
nameless, simply having seen them before.
It happened one day in a guided meditation that was ironically titled,
“Channeling Your Spirit Guides.” While
focused inward on my third eye in that meditation, I had a vision where my
spirit guide came and did the little thing she always does with her hair. I had my headphones on, listening to the
guided meditation, and on the recording as if on queue it said, “If you should
see any of your spirit guides simply ask them their name.” So I did. To my surprise, I heard a voice say, “My name
yet knowing I had to take advantage of this moment, I asked her to please also
tell me the name of my guardian angel, to which I heard the voice say, “Don’t
you remember? Her name is Jennifer and she is the one that calls you on the
had not equated Jennifer with an angel. In the dream she appeared simply as a
person and not as an angel. Recalling
the memory of Jennifer from the dream and the times when my guardian angel had
appeared, it suddenly rang true. I had a
moment of clarity and I remembered all the places I had seen her in visions and
dreams and I knew Felicity was telling the truth. She was the same person.
Angels do not always appear in visions or dreams in their winged form. They come to teach a lesson and will appear in whatever form necessary to carry the intended message. One must look to the soul of the person or spirit to know who is there.
As I read this now for the first time I am in amazement. It has been 10 years at least since I’ve re-read my own words from my book. What struck me were two things, the numerology and lioness having her cub. First I am currently unemployed trying to find a job. ….. SO HERE IS WHERE THE MIRACLE HAPPENED…….. the phone rang my cell phone and it was a job offer. I am no longer unemployed. I didn’t even have time to connect all the other dots. The coincidence that my original dream had the lioness giving birth to her cub and here I am about to have a baby in just a little more than 2 month. The fruit from the original dream and the fruit pies from the second dream. The initiates and the initiation into Kryia Yoga. Bizarre similarities including the phone call ushering hope that my Guardian Angel has not abandoned me at my time of greatest need.
And here I was going to translate this as simply message of faith. God has a greater plan. Well now I can say God definitely has a greater plan and a new job and that lioness is about to give birth to a little cub. AMEN AND AMEN!!
This dream I had several days ago around the 1st. I haven’t had a chance to journal it but it did seem significant and special. In the dream, a young boy runs up to me he is around 6 or 7 years old. He is excited to see me and is wanting to share some pictures with me. I immediately recognize the boy as OB. He is telling me all the things he will accomplish during his lifetime. I am fixated on his features trying to remember in detail what he looks like to bring back with me into my waking life.
Excited, he shows me three picture frames. Within each frame is a video of his life representing the epoch bound by the frame. As I become aware I am seeing him at different stages of his life, I again examine his facial features mentally comparing the difference in my mind on how he has grown and changed. I am so focus on his features I become inattentive to the story line as he is narrating it for me. I simply watch the video as if it had no audio mesmerized by what I am watching.
Each frame I mentally compare with the last frame. I am very pleased with his life and as I perceive from his excitement he too is proud of what he will accomplish.
I had a dream where I am trying to coordinate a flight with my ex Joe. I have to find a place to park my car but the airport parking lot is full and I'm told by the parking attendant that there is a detour and he advises me to…
In last night’s dream I suddenly find myself in a conversation with someone I have not seen in a long time. I am totally engrossed in the conversation with a single point of focus. I am present for nothing else but to engage in this conversation. I am so deep in thought with him and so happy to share my life with him I blurt out the words, “His name is David”. I am telling him about the baby I am expecting. I have not shared the name or sex of the baby with anyone other than the baby’s gestational mom. Immediately I realize I have given away too much information. I look around me and to the left of where I am sitting is seated my sister who is reading a magazine and not paying attention to the conversation. Her face is hidden behind the magazine. I discretely tell the guy not to share the information because it is supposed to be a secret. In doing this it occurs to me David is not the name I have selected for the baby yet I do not feel the need to correct the record.
~~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
It felt so bizarre to find myself so engrossed in the conversation and slowly becoming aware of my surroundings. Little by little I awakened in the dream to my present life yet everything felt true.
I don’t remember much of last night’s dream which I know there was a lot more to it. I do remember thinking this dream is too complex for me to journal. Mainly the dream was a night of working through logistics what needs to happen when and for what purpose and how it should be set up and effectuated was the general theme. Toward the morning right before I woke up, I found myself at the hospital where baby OB was just delivered. I arrive to see the baby who has already been born. It is the first time I am to hold the baby in my arms. Knowing this is a precious moment to be savored and also worried about how to do it correctly, I reach into the bassinet and place my left hand under the baby’s back and head while my right hand reaches in and scoops the baby up from the bum.
With the weight of the baby in my hands, I recall a conversation with mama Ivy who had bestowed on me a few words of wisdom earlier in real life. She advised I not rush the fun part. The memory of the conversation triggered a lucid state in the dream given OB isn’t due until late August. With the advice in hand, I pause to take in the baby’s facial features. OB’s eyes are wide open and making baby faces as OB looks around the room in every direction as to take in it’s surroundings. I question inwardly whether I have come to OB or if OB has come to me.
In last nights dream, I am away from home at my work site. I see many trucks and construction men around me. They are breaking ground to build a new work site. I become aware of a fissure in the foundation which threatens to divide the site. I somehow know this fissure to be in my house also as it’s effects are felt by the entire neighborhood. I decide to leave the job site and travel back home to secure my belongings. My house is just a few blocks away and adjacent to the job site. There is havoc as people scurry to evacuate the area. The rush of people is causing delays in getting home. A truck driver offers me a ride. Assuming this to be the speediest route home, I accept.
Once in the truck, it becomes apparent he would need to travel the long way around the work site to get to my house. The offer now seems a bit backhanded as it really was of no help to me and is taking me further out of my way. I decide to get off and head back to the parking lot to cut through to the other side. I feel the urgent need to poop but I still have a long way to go. A small wet fart slips out which causes me to soil my pants. While in the parking lot, I ask one of the cleaning ladies if she can offer me a restroom where I can clean up a bit. She offers one of her janitor closets which has a small shallow sink with fresh water and some paper towels. I clean up a bit but notice the poop is alive with fish and tiny animals. It is a muddy river teaming with life. Where the poops runs into the clear waters in the sink I examine the various life forms. There are animals of all kinds. This is not standard poop but poop which must be preserved.
After depositing all the poop into the small utility sink with water I leave to continue my journey home. I have very little time to get there so I decide to travel in somewhat unconventional ways. I assume I must be dreaming and therefore must have special powers within this dream. Taking an example from one of the frogs in the sink I decide to try to leap frog my way out of the parking structure. My leap frogging works and I am able to quickly scale my way out of the parking structure only to find it does not exit out where I need to be. Once again, I am confronted with having to find an alternate route.
The animals from my poop are now fully constituted and offer me other resources and new ideas for getting home. There is one fish who is especially beautiful and a gifted swimmer. Following his intuitive lead, I follow him to my home.
I am secure and safe in bed where I immediately have a false awakening. An Airbnb guest arrives. I hear him enter and walk up the steps to the second level. I get up out of bed knowing I already have a guest in the upstairs bedroom. I am greeted by an Asian man and his 10 yrs old son. Something unusual catches my attention about the Asian man I recognize him from before and if I do it must be a guest who previously stayed with me and is returning. Knowing I haven’t changed the pass-code on the door I assume he simply used the old pass-code to enter the house. The boy runs into my bedroom to play with things in my room as if this was his home. At the top of the stairs I explain to the man I already have a guest staying with me and don’t have available space to accommodate him. I sense he has come for an ulterior motive. I sense he is secretly attracted to me. I can see he is getting an erection in his pants. I don’t think it is a match since I am generally not attracted to Asian men. He excuses himself and proceeds to leave with his son.
It occurs to me to check to see if my son is with me. I return to the my bedroom where his son was playing only to find the infant car seat is empty. I go into a panic wondering where I might have left my child and in who’s care did I leave him. I head downstairs where my nieces are gathered. I suspect one of them might have smuggled my child with them. My niece Ester smiles at me with a mouth full of teeth so white they look fake. She smiles a second time long enough for me to carefully examine her digital teeth. There is something electronic about them. Maybe it is the means she uses to whiten her teeth. As they leave, my niece Daisy is the last to say goodbye. She places her hand on my voicebox and transmits a message like a ventriloquist. I immediately feel the vibration of her voice within my voicebox but the sound is muffled I can not understand the words. The look on her face tells me she is very happy for me and is confident I will find my missing child.
I next walk toward one of my guest bedrooms passing through the kitchen and dinning room where the Asian man’s son is sitting at the table waiting for someone to feed him. Knowing the Asian man must still be in my house I open the other bedroom door. The Asian man is in there but blocks the door from opening fully. All I can see is his face and the baby blue t-shirt he wears. One thing which strikes me are his soft youthful features. I have a feeling my son is with the Asian man.
July 12, 2018 I find myself busy in the dream playing with my dogs and talking to friends. I realize it is my bedtime and I need to retire to my bed yet I still have so much yet to accomplish. I sit on my bed and before I can…
In last night’s dream, I am with OB. I am teaching the baby the ropes on the dream space. The baby is a young adult maybe in its mid-20’s. I can not see my child but I sense it’s presence over my shoulder as if riding piggy-back. I am confident in my training as I systematically walk through the lesson. We are trying to get back to my childhood elementary school to eat at their cafeteria. Along the way, we stop at my Junior high school since it is closer and happens to be on the way. The kids are monitoring the walk up food counter. We say hello and they show us the avocado sandwiches they have prepared for the day. I tell OB we need to continue and go all the way back.
We are almost there. We come to a street which is cordoned off by the police. Instead of the yellow tape the police use a thin baby blue tape which has high technology encoded into the tape. It reminds me of the LED lights used in my aquarium. I tell him they are probably surveilling our every move. We walk under and past the tape and arrive on the playground of my elementary school. It is early and only a few administrators are here. The children have yet to arrive. It occurs to me I should probably show OB how to fly. Even though the play ground where we are standing has more open space in which to demonstrate flight I choose instead to march on to the cafeteria which is the destination.
Now on the front steps of the cafeteria, I take a moment to demonstrate flight. Since there is less space here than on the playground I decide to shoot straight UP in the air. I soar like a rocket to heights not humanly possible. I have so much reserved energy I continue climbing in altitude even after I’ve stopped.
Now floating at the APEX of life and am still climbing from sheer inertia and momentum. I look down in the direction of the playground and wonder how am I supposed to land on the playground from this altitude. I have learned to fly but have I learned how to land? I assume it must be no different than landing from horizontal flight but the altitude is just so great. Slowly as my forward momentum decreases I begin to descend back down and land gracefully on the walkway between the cafeteria and the playground. I feel a sense of accomplishment having successfully taught OB how to fly and returned to my point of origin.
~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
This dream had striking similarity to my dream Wait One Cent (October 15, 1995). I’ve always known this dream to be a pivotal moment in my life. It solidly connected me to my dreams and inspired me to write my book. It left me feeling, “More will be revealed.” It is why I journal dreams today. I’m still looking for clues to the “more” from beyond to guide my life. I think this APEX dream confirms another pivotal moment and that is deciding to have a baby. The dream My Mother’s Name Is Penny which I journaled in 2008 10 years before I even embarked on having a baby links OB with the my penny dream. Some day I will put together another book to tell the story of all the dreams that have guided me to this APEX of my life of having a baby.
April 6, 2018 Waking up this morning it felt reminiscent of the dream that i had 2 nights ago the night I couldn't remember my dream. This is because when I awoke I initially couldn't remember a thing except for a phone call I had just received before I woke…
Last night I had a dream. I receive in the mail a postcard addressed to a woman who does not live in my house. The woman lives in Washington State whereas I live in Washington, DC. It is addressed to the organization she represents in care of her. My attention…
So the other day my surrogate who I will refer to as IM shared a dream where she was visited by her Grandmother in a forest where she played as a kid. She mentioned there being a lookout tower used for protecting bears from hunters. Her dream gave me pause. …
In last night’s dream, I am visiting my oldest brother Paz. We are at his house and I am helping him clean and empty his house out so that he can sell it. In the wall between the living room and dining room he has built a nativity manger scene for his daughters to play with. It is about the size of a shoe box with miniature characters. His girls have left it with the last scene they had set up in the box before they grew up and had no need for it anymore. It is the only remaining piece in his house given the box is built it into the wall.
Standing in front of it, I reflect on how life might have been for him raising three daughters. I exclaim, “The house is much bigger now!” My other brother Louie and his family arrive at the house. His wife Maggie mentions there was a snow storm overnight which dropped heavy snow and now the roads are covered. I attempt to look out the window to see the road conditions for myself but I am unable to tear myself away from the manger box. I ask him if he is planning to hit the road for home? He nods as to affirm his decision. I am saddened because it is the last time I will be in this space. Tears roll down my face with a feeling of abandon filling my heart. Why is it our family always has to leave in separate directions?
~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
This dream was unusual in that I don’t often find myself crying in a dream. I remember the feeling of loss was so overwhelming. Mainly it was a separation anxiety that I was having to leave on my own and I would need to manage with the snow myself.
In last night’s dream. I am visiting a day care center to view how they care for the babies. In one room there are two babies laying side by side in bassinets. These two babies are my niece Daisy’s children. There is poopie stuff oozing out of one of their diapers. Since I am their uncle, I decide to attempt to change the diaper myself. The diaper are rubber and has held like a cup all the pee. I notice the poop is much more stinky than I would have thought. For a moment, I become nauseous. Daisy walks in at the nick of time with some replacement diapers. She cleans them up and decides to allow them both some diaper free time. She lays the two babies on the floor in the center of the small room on a peach colored carpet. Both babies are bums up. I can see their tiny little hands which are so small I worry I may handle them incorrectly if I were to attempt to play with them or give them some attention.
As I leave the room I run into my friend Stephen who has arrived with his baby. He tells me he feels he doesn’t want to leave my on my own without any help. I had no idea Stephen also has a baby. His baby is much bigger and walks already. He has grey hair and is bald but he still refers to him as his baby.
~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
A few things which stuck out in this dream were the peach color of the carpet. I remember thinking, I hope that carpet is water proof. I had the same color carpet in when I lived in Palmdale. The idea I could experience nausea in the dream was a first and that I was actually able to smell.
I am very interested in doing elimination communication when the baby arrives so this might be a sign from beyond that it is worth trying and an assurance that I’m not alone. The image I found to go with the dream has helpful tips on EC. Its interesting I glance at all the images available with an idea of what I’m trying to convey looking for the best match. This one I liked and it just so happened it was linked to an EC website.
I had fair number of dreams last night where I was very much engaged with the elements of the dream but I can’t quite place my finger on what I was doing. The only thing I can remember is when I woke up to go to the bathroom while I was yet resisting the urge to pee, I had a vision where I can see what is a very magical scene. My awareness is at ground level looking up at a very tall figure elongated from the base to the waist line. The figure is surrounded by what looks like a blue shimmering faerie jelly. It is iridescent with glitter stars all over it. I struggle to look up at the entity. I can see up to it’s waist. Wanting to ascend higher, I relax and allow myself to float up along it’s base. I arrive at the upper body. Upon seeing the head I immediately have a flash of insight, I am seeing myself but what am I doing dressed as a Faerie Godmother? Her wings are infant sized just now growing and developing within the faerie jelly which surrounds her. Her upper body is disproportionate to her lower body which makes me believe she is floating. I am so surprised and awake in a gasp not to mention the sense of urgency around needing to pee is pressing against my bladder.
I immediately get up and head on down to the bathroom. In my head I’m thinking this is a fluke of a dream. Where did that come from? Having done my business I return to bed to cuddle with the dog kissing his head I fall back into the dream. Again I find myself at the base of what is a magical scene. Faerie dust and jelly surrounds me. It feels refreshing and renewing as it cascades over me. I know given the opportunity I must ascend again to see the head. I want to know if what I saw before it in fact correct. Relaxing into this state of consciousness I begin to float up toward the waist. From this new vantage point, I turn to look up at its torso. Again I am astonished to see myself once again playing with this magical jelly floating high above the waist. I must be having a good time all dressing up. How did I get here? What brought me here? I almost feel like when someone walks in on you and surprises you while you are fantasizing and dancing around and you don’t want anyone to see your child like innocence, your playful spirit, an adult being a child. There I stand unnoticed by me yet I know I’m seeing myself. It feels as if someone caught my galavanting on tape and is playing it back to me. The wings are baby wings tiny compared to my size yet I wear them with pride believing I can fly.