A Blade of Rainbow Families – The Day My Mother Died

September 21, 2018

In last night’s dream, I am with a group of people at possibly a book store or news stand type store where they sell magazines, periodicals and novelties.  I don’t believe I know the people in the store as it seems we are all just passing through and by circumstance we all happen to meet here.  There is a large box on the floor where they have placed all the out of date items.  I see several copies of the Washington Blade.  Believing these are probably throw-away items and therefore free I walk over to look for the most recent edition.  The first edition I pick up and open it to the cover page but it no longer has the first page.  A guy dressed in all yellow says to me as if he is aware of my thoughts, “That’s not the latest edition.”  So I put the copy down and reach for another one which I identify as having all it’s pages.

The second one is complete and is the latest edition of the throw-away items in the box.  I proceed to open the pages and notice all the pages are cut revealing an accordion of cut out characters emerging from the pages.  I close it quickly not knowing what is happening to it and try again to open it.  This time I open it slowly to see what the cut out are.  As the pages unfold the cut out characters become two dimensional animated cut out of people.  All the cut outs are white cream color with no writing or features merely cut outs.  The guy next to me who is all yellow reaches in and pulls out a spinet piano from the pages of the blade.  I am amazed because I recognize the piano as the one I had when I was a kid.  The yellow man begins playing testing the keys and notices a problem.  It is suspected there is a ball of poop in the pages so he is wanting to work around the poop to reconstruct his piano.

With the magazine in my hands I can feel a lump withing the pages still in my left hand.  I hold the “poop” tightly and walk over to examine the piano.  I lift the lid of the piano to reveal it’s keys and find one of the strings is broken.  I tell the yellow man that the piano is so old one would expect a string to be broken but it can be easily repaired.  While I’m talking to him still holding the “poop ball” within my hand it begins to squirm in my hand.  I let go releasing the tightly held pages and opening the remaining pages of the magazine open.  From within the ball emerge a bunch of tiny etheric people 10 times smaller than the cut outs previously.  Each one a different color of the rainbow.  There are blues, yellows, reds, purple, green.  They remind me of little pieces of Play Doh.  Now reconstituted they are jumping and playing with each other.  When groups of different colors come together they become white and grey and beige then separating again into their individual color.  Rainbow colors pulse through their tiny etheric bodies.

Doors Open

September 7, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am visiting my mom.  She lives in a luxury high rise building.  Only the exterior of the building is luxurious because people in this place don’t spend much time inside their apartments.  They spend most of the time on their balconies and in the shared living spaces on the exterior of the building.  Visitors are allowed to freely visit the balconies and shared spaces adjacent the private units.  I am taking in the breathtaking view of the skyline.  There is a jogging track that corkscrews around the outside the building.  I am afraid of heights so I decide to stay near the pool.  There are many small pools scattered around the perimeter of the building so that each resident does not have to walk far to find a pool or vista to enjoy.  I walk around and visit several of the units.  The view outside each unit is spectacular.  There is one building in the distance which i recognize.  It is slightly hidden behind dense fog it is the World Trade Center.  I ask the person I’m with,  “Isn’t that the World Trade Center?”  The person with me answers,  “Why YES!” in disbelief not that it it the World Trade Center because the World Trade Center is gone but that I have the ability to see it.

I turn inward to visit with my mom in her unit.  She is counting coins which she has collected during her stay.  Apparently they have a casino in the building.  She tells me she doesn’t know how to play but every time she passes a table she places a coin down and walks away.  The casino has now tracked her down to bring her her winnings.  She has so many coins of all types of denominations including large coins of a very high value.  She is rich and doesn’t know it because she doesn’t understand the value of the coins.

My mom is in a wheelchair and I decide to sit with her and take in one of the views.  I notice the unit she is in is empty with absolutely no furnishings.  Again, people don’t spend much time in their quarters.  I notice the door handle to her unit is handicap accessible in that the door knob is a leaver and is positioned low to the ground.  The door knob keeps falling off when I try to use it.  I tell my mom, “I’m going to have to tell the maintenance man to fix it.”  My mom then says to me, “Why do you need to close the door?”

 

Rebuilding Love Lost Hospital

September 5, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself standing outside an old abandoned building.  There is a man who stands with me.  He is the lone survivor and now is working to restore the building.  He tells me the story of the building.  He says it was a hospital at one time where many people were healed.  I can tell the building suffered a fire.   I ask him what happened to the patients in the building at the time of the fire.  He tells me the fire killed everyone except him.  I ask him if the building is now haunted.  He says it definitely is haunted.  The spirits of the dead still live here.  I ask is he is not afraid to work here to which he answers NO someone has to do the work.  I offer to help him.  I am with my dog Butters.  He then gives me a tour of the building to see what people were doing right before the fire.  I can see a couple making out in their car in the parking lot. There is a little boy who comes toward me and starts walking at my side.  I assume he wants to come along for the tour.  I place my palm on his head to let him know he is welcome on the tour.  I notice the moment my palm touches his hair on his head a wave of energy flows through me.  This energy lifts us both up off our feet.   I immediately have the ability of flight.  We float together to the higher floors of the hospital.

I am now lucid.  Knowing I have powers in the dream, I take a good look around me, at my surroundings to try to understand the mechanics of the dream and the correlation between the dream and my waking life.  I can see the fabric of the the dream vibrating with rainbow colors in which the dream constructs the scenes.  I think to myself this must be my aura or spirit as it’s light extends beyond my dream body.  I look around for Butters and discover he is now a young man.  I think his child name might need to be changed to reflect his new manhood.

The Table Congregation

August 29, 2018

Last night I had a bizarre dream.  I find myself in what appears to be a  stairwell of a building possibly leading to a mechanical area.  The way the stairwell is structured it is very complex.  It reminds me of the skeleton of Arc de Triomphe.  I am chasing an entity.  It is elusive.  It is a part of me that hides itself from me.  It passes in flashes of light.  This is an internal struggle where I alone can reconcile with this force within me.  I must find the flash of light and confront it, unite with it and harness it.  I must tame the beast.  I can see it zipping past me in the corners of my vision.

I decide on a strategy.  I scale the stairs to the top where there is a meeting hall with two separate, distinct and rectangular tables in the center.  People come here to resolve issues.  As the attendants walk in they take their seats.   There are two balcony rows above the area where the tables are where spectators can come and gather to view the discussions.  I sit at one of the tables and wait for everyone else to sit at either of the available tables.  I observe who is on which side.  Nancy Polossi walks in and sits at the opposing table.  I am thrilled to see her but she does not say hello.  She appears unfriendly and cold.  This angers me as I notice people here are not in good spirits with one another.  Since I am in charge of this space and this meeting that I’ve convened, I ask them to all stand and file themselves by their respective ages.  Not wanting to come together all the participants scatter to the balconies.  They don’t seem to want to follow instructions.  I  tell them they must accept the the terms or they cannot rejoin the table.  I give them instructions on how to pair up one junior member and one senior member.  The senior members must tutor the junior members and the junior members must assist with the responsibilities of the senior members.  The senior members must learn to be like junior members in there curiosity and innocence for life.  Every week when we gather going forward we will conduct this exercise and in time we will learn to work together.  Still reluctant and dismissive of my demands.  I sit back down in the center. The two tables are now one large circular table.   As I sit the table becomes a pure white being.  I begin talking with The Table Entity.  We are as old friends so happy to be reunited.  I decide to take a picture of us to send it to the members.  The members are now calling me on the phone wanting to join the congregation.  I can see them in the balconies having done a 180 in their attitude.  They in return show me their painted faces and celebration outfits.  Everyone is dressed up beautifully like the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

Curiously as I was journalling the dream not knowing where it was going or how it would unfold one of the things that struck me was the focal point of The Table(s).  I attend a church called the Table Church.  I really liked the way it became an entity unto itself.   I assume this entity is what I was seeking to find and reconcile with.  I also thought it humorous that those things that keep the table separate and in conflict turned out to the the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgences.  I also love the ending where we could come together and poke fun at ourselves be happy festive and reunited as one Table Entity.  Is this the way God would want it?  I think so.

A Return To The Hall Of Records

August 24, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself in the Hall of Records.  This place is where people come to learn about events.  It’s a happy place much like an amusement part. People are eating, socializing and celebrating.  People take joy in knowing truth.  I’m a bit intimidated because there is so much here and I know I may stumble on information that is privileged or under seal.  I initially walk through just to take note of what all is available for review.  There are various rooms with different themes.  You can learn a lot just by being aware of the items and the names of the articles.  Once at the end I ask if I can return for  a closer look at some of the items I found of particular interest to me.  I would really like to sit in silence and take in the information.  Too learn more about the generations who came before me.

People are now gathering with me.  Although they didn’t come with me I feel they are here to surreptitiously know more about me.  There is also a sense of celebration.   They seem to not be forthcoming with information but instead wanting me to discover my truth.   My confidence increasing and my shyness diminishing.  I feel welcome to gather here with them.  I don’t want to leave.

I notice a wet spot on the floor.  Oh no Butters pee’d.  I instantly wake up needing to pee.  Happy to Butters didn’t actually pee.  I rush to the bathroom to do my business and returned to bed.

Castle Lights

Bamburgh Castle at night

August 10, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I find myself in a huge castle.  I’ve been here before.  I seem to be very familiar with the layout and where things are and how they work.  I am well known for the inner workings of the castle.  The castle is so big it has small streets within it.  There are a set of inner lights that are not often used.  I think it is a good occasion to turn them on but I need to replace one of the light bulbs for it to work.  The electrical system has two sources one comes from the castle itself and the other comes from the city in which the castle sits.  This set of lights because they serve the roads within the castle are served by the city.  I find the junction boxes.  My sister Grace is with me.  I tell her to be cautious because we would need to turn off the city power first to tamper with the junction box.  I also tell her that she can’t use just any light bulb to replace the one that is burned out it must be a special light bulb which is similar to the ones used in the tail lights of cars with the small prongs on them.  She is impatient and feels she knows it all.  I decide to use an old light bulb and not a new one just in case if it blows out.  I vaguely remember what happened last time I tried to change the light bulb.  As if to go back in time to the point where the light bulb blew out I insert the light bulb.  For about 3 minutes the lights in the inner city turn on.  The streets within the castle look simply beautiful.  I had forgotten how beautiful and magical the city looks when the lights are on.   One of the wall torches begins to flicker signalling a possible short in the wiring.  We need to access the problem area by going down in a manhole under the castle grounds. I take my dog which is an unusual looking white dog.  He is very nice but a bit too adventurous.  This work requires caution.  I’m afraid the dog will fall in the manhole and I’ll have trouble getting him out.  The dog looks in the manhole and I guess doesn’t find it interesting or it doesn’t grab his attentions and Instead he goes off running toward the corner sniffing the buildings.  I cautiously do what I need to do to fix the problem in the manhole.

Later in the dream I run into Joe my ex.  He tells me he has the money he owes me.  I hardly believe it true since Joe is all about lies and procrastination.  Why would he of his own volition want to repay a debt to me?  He then shows me the calculations he has made.  They are not numbers in the sense that we would know them but instead an arrangement of artifacts.  The placement of things seems to tell a story.  I ponder the items and the story they tell.  Just as I am about to wake from the dream the thought enters my head…Aha! the baby.  It add up to a baby.

Mum’s Nun But A Moose

Dame’s Portrait Gallery Alanna Wood, Sechelt, BC, CANADA. Bar Nun and Moose

Last night I had a dream where it felt like I was in a silent movie.  No words are spoken.  Everything is communicated in silence.  My friend Dinah is sharing my house with me and has rented one of the rooms.  She has a guest, a man she is interested in who comes to visit.  I examine the locks on the door to ensure she is safe.  It feels like the world is shifting and changing.  I now find myself seating in church pews.  There is a canopy above my head which I secure in front and behind me.  I am now aware of Nuns who are seated in front of me.  They in turn take the canopy and extend it to the pews in front of them.  There are now Nuns seated in front of them.  They too take the canopy and extend it to the seats in front of them.  This goes on several times maybe 5 – 7 times such that it now feels like I’m riding in a bus.  The world is shifting around us except under this canopy.  It feels like we too are moving but we are moving as a collective.

A faerie is seated beside me to my right and below my under arm.  He hands me Moose antlers with the understanding that I am to use them for flight.  I’m a bit confused as I am unsure how I am to use them for this purpose. Do I put them on my head or to I extend my arms?  I extend my had to accept the antlers from the faerie.  As soon as I do their power pulses through my body.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

As I sat here trying to remember my dream to journal it.  I thought about what the name would be and what image could possibly go with it.  I wanted to use both the Nun and the Moose in the title but how in the world was I going to find an image.  Well it appears  an artist Alanna Wood has created a work of art that depicts just that?  As I clicked through to the larger image I was drawn to the way the grass is depicted in the image the texture reminded me of the canopy in my dream.  The antlers were very similar.   I also found another picture with  nun holding deer antlers but the antlers didn’t match my dream.  Very interesting similarities.

SYMBOLISM OF MOOSE:

They are symbolic of bravery and dominance. Antlers are a moose’s greatest system of defense. They also come in handy to get the ladies. To explain…during mating season (in the Fall), male moose vie for the attention of the cows (female moose).

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Love

My second partner Michael who held 10 yrs of my life.

August 3, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am in a line of people not quite sure what we are waiting for.  I am with my mother who is old and in a wheel chair.  I am protecting her.  Along the path where we walk are cutouts small rooms with 3 walls.  Occasionally people pause while they wait in line to reflect on what each room holds.  While standing in line your vision is restricted to the cutout room directly in front of you.  I am standing in front of my mom.  It is has been my belief we are at the end of the line whoever I become aware of a man who has been standing behind my mom.  I have missed noticing him because he has been engaged in each of the rooms as the line has moved.  I on the other hand have been waiting in line with my mom not entering the cutouts.  To satisfy my curiosity who might be standing behind my mom I walk behind her now in a position to see into the cutout where the man stands.  I discover the man in the room is Michael.  My second partner.  He looks amazingly beautiful.  All the reasons I fell in love with him come rushing back.  His hair glistens in the light of the sun and his beard seems to reflect the rays of the sun.  Yet even with all this love for him I feel I need to scold him for his actions.  I somehow feel he might have done some wrong against my mother.  I want him to know I stand to protect my mom.  I also feel he has hurt me.  A part of me if mad over the pain he has created in my life.

As I stand there in discussion with him, I begin to become aware of the dream.  Knowing I’m in a dream now I look at “Michael” and wonder what else might he be here to represent.  With my mind focused on OB and feeling the love deep within me.  I can feel it radiating out warmly by the sun reflecting off his golden hair.

My alarm rings and I wake up to snooze it.  I quickly close my eyes trying desperately to return to the dream.  My inner eye now sees cartoon characters.  These are very similar to yesterday’s except these appear to be presented for a mature audience.  The characters are dressed in cartoon suits, some I notice look like formal wear.  They seem to be gathering for a celebration.  I see their cartoon hair is black and well presented with clear delineation and  distinction.  They appear to be happy and proud.  My alarm rings a second time.

~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

As I was journalling my dream and describing the cutout rooms I had a very strong feeling that each room represented a day in my life.  I seem to be stuck not engaging fully in each day because I am attached to the idea that I must care for my mother.  My mother in her wheel chair seemed unable to enjoy each day either.  I was unaware of Michael’s nearby presence because he was in engaged in life.  There is also the idea that I’m stuck in the past possibly morning the past.  I can’t see love in today.

Ready to Ride

August 1, 2019

This dream i had two days ago but I didn’t get around to adding it.  Last night’s dream seemed to dove tail into it.  The dream is complex but simple.  I am on a roller coaster ride that continuously comes back to the same place for me to do something and then get back on.  The something I have to do is journal the dream from the night before.  I remember feeling very very tired of continuously looping around and around on the track.   At one point, I simply can’t ride it anymore and I get off.  This is when I recall being in the dream from the previous night where I notice a computer screen this is the same computer screen from the night before which I remember has journal entries.  Again as I did in the previous night I read the journal entries presented on the screen.  I am keenly aware the screen controls the track the roller coaster uses and I must write the script to differentiate the track to effect a new path.

In the previous night when I look at this same screen I am unaware of the roller coaster.  All I know is I am somehow a contributor to this effort.  We have work to do.  As I start reading the screen it contains information on the work being conducted.  I recognize the work and it becomes apparent it is a journal of the work which has been performed to date.  I ask someone nearby if they can confirm my assumption.  The person confirms it is in fact a record of the work conducted.  It somehow feels like a story of my life and my life’s mission.  The record is missing the latest developments and the course for the future.  I begin typing into a tiny keyboard that is very very small.  Someone notices I am struggling with data entry and hands me a cell phone which has voice to text dictation.  I begin using it to input the data stream.

My awareness now returns to the present moment in the dream.   The roller coaster now contains new instructions.  I no longer feel fearful or reluctant to embark on the coaster once again.  I am ready for the ride of my life.

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Vignette of a Daddy

The humanistically oriented has an aesthetic-artistic profile

July 18, 2018

DREAM 1:  I had a dream where I am rearranging my website to show images of my daddy poses.  My objective is to show what daddies look like.  There are three images of me as a daddy I choose to settle on for the website.

DREAM 2:  I had another dream where I invite friends to celebrate.  My wallet is full of money.  I take a bite of my wallet as if it was a sandwich.  I worry I can’t exchange the money I’ve chewed.  I close my wallet and pause to think what to do about the money I’ve chewed up.  I open my wallet a second time and discover the wallet is as if I had not bitten into it.  My wallet has recovered and has more money in it than before so much so that the money is falling out.   It is stuffed so thick it is busting at the seams.  Someone beside me tries to grab at my wallet and succeeds at taking money from me.  Angered by this,  I attack him pointedly targeting the return of my dollars.  I am successful at recovering my money.  Emboldened by this I go in for another grab at his money.  I am successful at getting his money in addition to my money.   I recognize I am in a dream and wonder if he is playing with me or testing my reaction in the dream.  How assertive am I with the things I want in life?

DREAM 3:  I then had another dream.  I am in a castle.  I contemplate how I might remodel it desiring to change the windows on the first floor.  There is a white bottle of of lotion sitting on the counter with black lettering along with a symbol that looks like a large K.  I am aware of a young man who is in the castle with me.  He has approached to be a potential boyfriend.  I know for him to be the one he must be able to read and understand the meaning of the symbol and writing on the bottle of lotion.  If he is able to understand then he is the one if he can’t then he is not.