My Work is Complete

April 29, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am at work.  I discover there is a project where my boss needs my attention but he has omitted telling me about it.  I just happen to notice it as the paper work crosses my desk because it is due now.  There are several people named in the document and to my surprise I am also named.  I am surprised because I wouldn’t expect to see my name as a party to an agreement such as this.  Yet the agreement isn’t signed by anyone and yet it is due now.  I am conflicted because on the one hand if I carry this through to ensure it is ratified I appear to be doing it for self interest since I am named.  Yet I wasn’t aware of my name in the document until now.  It feels like it is intended for me as a beneficiary or benefactor of the agreement.  The parties are out of the country possibly in Brazil in a foreign land.  The challenge is I am not quite prepared to meet the many requirements which are formalities and process around the execution of the contract.  I think about all the steps I would need to do in order to arrange the many parts enumerated in the agreement.  It seems I can’t possibly carry out all it’s parts in the time frame allocated for it’s execution without an act of God.

Fearing defeat but actually not so much defeat since I had not pursued this option for myself.  I had nothing invested in it to feel any sense of loss.  The loss I feel is on behalf of my boss whose intent it was to execute this contract.  I know it wouldn’t have been written if he had not wanted it to take place even in naming me as a party.  I do not want to fail my boss even though I just found out about it. It is my desire to see his mission served whatever mission it may be.  His desire is my desire.

I then hear several people enter.  It is the hour that has come to pass.  Now is the time.  As I’m sitting there not knowing what to tell him.  I feel his presence come over my right shoulder as he whispers to me,  “I have taken care of it.  The work is done.”  Now as I look at the document time stands still the steps necessary for the process are complete one by one.  A signature and seal now appear. My work is complete.

 

 

Jacobs Ladder

This is an old dream that i had maybe a year ago (2017).  It has been forever present with me.  It was more than just a dream or vision.  It felt very real that it has not moved from my consciousness.  I think about it all the time wanting to know more about it.  Since my recent dream where I discovered I can replay an old dream I thought I should write this one down.  A year ago I wasn’t journaling my dreams yet I still have them and the most powerful ones I do still remember.  This is one of them.

I wake up in the dream to find that I have been asleep for many many years. I have not aged but somehow it is now at least 25 years into the future.   I don’t know this until later in the dream.  I am witnessing the President of the United States who doesn’t say a whole lot throughout the dream but his presence is known.  It seems only some people are aware of me yet I am there among them.  The President has an entourage of people around him constantly.   I am observing all that is going on and I somehow I know the topics under discussion.  We are all sleeping in close quarters several assistants along with the Press Secretary are constantly attending to the Presidents needs.  The President is one of the one’s that is not aware of my presence or at least he has not acknowledged me directly.   In the future they’ve made drugs such that they are no longer harmful.  Even drugs that were once illegal now have versions that can be taken for pure pleasure with no harmful side affects.  They have eliminated the substance abuse problem.

The President needs a prescription and therefore his personal medic is called in to administer the drug.  A young man enters who is a member of the a naval academy.  He is studying to be a doctor and can already prescribe medicine.  He comes in and notices me but doesn’t say anything so I’m not sure he can actually see me or simply senses my presence.   As the conversation continues I get more and more signals that confirm he is aware of me.  It is as if I can hear his thoughts.  The sound of his voice is so beautiful to me.  His name is Jacob.  He is such a caring individual with a deep curiosity for life.  His desires are noble.  He tells me he wants to change the world from the inside out.  Although he is working for a Republican President he himself is not a Republican.  He has only claimed to be a Republican to effect change.  We seem to hit it off and begin playing on each other bantering back and forth.  The Press Secretary also is fully aware and loves the young man and respects his naivete.  His innocence is simply intoxicating.  He tells me he finds me very attractive.  Something else about life in this century is that sexual expression is more openly accepted as an exchange of energy.  It’s not uncommon for people to be intimate and rejoice in one another’s presense.  He again tells me he finds me very attractive.  I ask for clarification to which he tells me that I am exactly the type of person he has always dreamt about being with.  I ask him if he is gay to which he says that’s a thing of the past its more about being with the one you connect with and love.  Somehow he understands I’m not from this time period.  He then shows me how they are intimate with each other freely male and female without any hangups.  He then comes to me and begins to pleasure me.  The feeling of pleasure is overwhelming.  I tell him I don’t date guys in their 20’s.  He again emphasizes that he is in love with me as I AM EXACTLY what he has dreamt about.  With his touch I can feel exactly what he is referring to.  Knowing what he knows, I too now feel him and sense the connection.  I am falling in love with this young navy cadet.  He is paying me more attention than his responsibilities.  He tells me to wait for him.  While I wait he tells me to experience others as he has demonstrated.   The sense of pleasure is overwhelming.  I can hear a bit of scuttle between him and the President as he has neglected his duties in spending time with me.  He then assures me that he has everything under control.  I can still over hear the conversation but it sounds like he is loosing his patience with the President.  I tell him I don’t want him to risk his career.  He then asks me if I would love him regardless meaning if he didn’t have a career would I still love him to which I say of course. I now realize I’ve always wanted someone like him.  I tell him to fulfill his duties and come home to sleep with me and cuddle with me.  He is welcome to sleep with me anytime.  I’m starting to get tired as sleep falls upon me.  He is now in my bed cuddled with me late at night.  I can feel his body pressed against my body.  We dream of a time when we can be together forever.

When I woke up in the morning the presence of him was gone.  I felt like I had allowed myself to fall asleep and allowed him to slip away.  In my desire to recapture that moment I heard a voice say “You are him. You are the connection you seek.”

And Jacob went out from Beer-sheba, and went toward Haran. And he lighted upon the place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took one of the stones of the place, and put it under his head, and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven; and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it. And, behold, the LORD stood beside him, and said: ‘I am the LORD, the God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac. The land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed. And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south. And in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed. And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee whithersoever thou goest, and will bring thee back into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.’ And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said: ‘Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not.’ And he was afraid, and said: ‘How full of awe is this place! this is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.’

— Genesis 28:10-17 Jewish Publication Society (1917)

The Color of Change

Day 233 / 365 - Walk the plank

I had a dream where I am observing someone’s boss treat her employees in a way that is racially discriminating.  I’m very disturbed by the comments and decide to protest along with my friend Dinah who is with me.  The woman discriminated against two races.  I am feeling alone in my protest even since it is just Dinah and myself.  We decide to take it further and confront the offices and demand change. There is a long line of people waiting to get in the building.  Unbeknownst to me Dinah tells me that all these people are here waiting in line to support my protest.  I’m amazed at how many people are here.  As we approach to prove our case to the highest levels of management everyone is setting their intents as thoughts into the air.  I can visually see the thoughts as light grey clouds.  As I look at the clouds I notice that the clouds of thoughts seem to respond to my viewing them directly.  Instead of grey they become pink and some are blue, yellow, orange, green and a variety of other colors.  At first I’m puzzled believing it can’t be me causing the color within their thoughts.  Looking away to test the theory I can show that my direct focus on the clouds causes them to come alive with color.  I feel like Rudolph trying not to call too much attention to my colors that I’m imploring. Everyone there supporting me is taken aback by my ability to infuse color into their thoughts with supplications for change.

I’m now face to face with the highest levels of management who ask me to walk a plank to cross over and prove myself.   I’m feeling tired and drowsy and my vision is blurry.   I don’t feel capable of crossing and I’m assured death should I fall.  Instead I lean my forehead against the wall and pray.  In that moment I awaken from the dream.

Green Man Addendum – A Measure of Wheat for a Penny

April 6, 2018

Waking up this morning it felt reminiscent of the dream that i had 2 nights ago the night I couldn’t remember my dream.  This is because when I awoke I initially couldn’t remember a thing except for a phone call I had just received  before I woke up.  I heard someone’s cell phone ring next to me.  I looked over at the cell phone and thought it might be mine but on closer examination it wasn’t mine.  I thought I would answer it on behalf of the person whose cell phone it belonged to.  I answer and say, “Hello.”  The person on the other end asks to speak with Nevitt.  I sit up look around the room to see if there is a Nevitt here.  I then realize I’m dreaming and the only Nevitt I know is my neighbor who lives up the street.  It also occurs to me that anytime I hear my cell phone in a dream its from my guardian angel Jennifer.  I was reminded of this fact yesterday when I read my dream from my book which i posted yesterday.   This phone call just didn’t feel like a dream even though it was.  At this point I’m sitting up in my bed looking for the owner of the cell phone which I guess must be me since I am the dreamer.

I got myself up and headed for the bathroom struggling to remember any part of the dream leading up to the phone call.  I then recall seeing my mom carrying a large bird on her shoulder.  The bird had bright yellow feet.  I also recall walking in my mom’s back yard off of Loma Drive in Los Angeles where I see a set of spiral stairs that she had recently put in.  The stairs are made of concrete.  I recall the risers being very smooth and shallow hugging the slope of the hill.  The treads contained large gravel stones that created small impressions and bumps on the tread.   I remember thinking to myself that the steps appear to be very similar to the ones I had had placed in a very similar space.  How is it that they are the same as the ones I recall yet I don’t even recognize them.  There is a familiarity yet there is not.  It felt like a paradox.  I then recall a gathering of people who were celebrating with sparkling water which at first glance looks like Cognac because of the purity of the water and its slight yellow coloration.  This elixir they are serving is referred to as liquid viagra.   Knowing drinking doesn’t agree with me they also have several vials of colored water.  There are vials in every color of the rainbow.  I’m told these too are liquid viagra and suggest that I partake.  I walk over to examine the vials.  The quantities are going quickly as guys are coming over to help themselves.  I decide to take one or two for myself.  There aren’t enough remaining to represent a full rainbow anymore.  I hastily grab two then notice that the person behind behind me is left with only one.  Feeling empathy for him, I offer him mine.  The dream ended there.

So why the addendum? Well during my morning coffee I thought of ways to improve or add to my sacred space.  Calling on sacred objects from the past that I can place in the present to enhance my morning prayers.  I remembered I have a Buddha in the basement which this Buddha also has a host of history that I can share.  We’ve had many a late night conversation.  So I ran downstairs to bring her up.  I always refer to my Buddha statue in the feminine  because she has a feminine sounding voice in my head when she talks to me.  I placed her on a bar stool in the dining room where I can see her from where i sit to have my coffee and morning prayer.  Staring at her and sipping my coffee I realize she is green and she in fact is actually a man.  She is a Green Man.

So today now April 7th, 2018 (tells you how long it takes for a dream to unfold and for me to journal one) I had a PIT Training Course to attend.  PIT is a training that is offered to new Mankind Project Initiates.  I became a Warrior this past March 2nd weekend.  Anyways, the training was held in a Meditation Studio.  Up on the wall was a very large Buddha sitting lotus in a Yellow robe.  Coincidence I think not.

An interesting story around my coming to the Mankind Project relates to another very powerful dream I had.  Before I can tell you about this dream first I must preface it with a story.  It takes me back to the very beginning when … well I will let the book tell it.

 

A Measure of Wheat for a Penny

“And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.”  (Revelation 6:6 KJV)

 

For me, all the magic has revolved around a single penny–a wheat penny.  It began in the fall of 1995 with a series of precognitive dreams.  I had been seeing a therapist who suggested that I journal my dreams to help me get in touch with a host of unresolved issues. I felt very much an outcast.  I was poor, Hispanic, gay, and HIV positive.

I desperately wanted to reconcile my life to God.  My best friend had just passed away from AIDS and I did not want to die without coming to know God.  The precognitive dreams concerned a book that ironically my therapist had also asked me to read.  The book was “Iron John, A Book about Men”, by Robert Bly.  For the last three chapters of the book, I would dream the night before about chapters in the book I had yet to read.  How is it that I knew the story line of the last three chapters in the book before ever having set my eyes upon those pages?  Information that seemed at first to be meaningless hooked my interest and forced me to look around and ask, “Is someone or something out there, or is God trying to get my attention?”

The answer came in a subsequent dream.  This dream is the hallmark of all the dreams in my life. It led me to know there is a God setting everything into motion guiding my path toward self-actualization and revealing my purpose in life.

Dream: Wait One Cent (October 15, 1995)

I am working at an elementary school servicing the lunch lines for the kids. I usually eat my lunch before their lunch hour begins but today I do not have a meal ticket. The supervisor of the cafeteria tells me that she has an extra meal ticket that I can have but before I can have it, I must agree to pick up all the pennies that have fallen on the ground.  I agree and proceed to get down on my knees to collect the fallen pennies.  There are so many pennies that I cannot hold them all in my hands.  They begin falling out of my hands.  I am trying hard not to drop any while at the same time picking up the remaining pennies that are still on the ground.  I am anxious because I want to get my food before it is too late.  I finally get to the last penny and I notice it looks different from all the others.  It is a very old penny with much wear on it.  As I pick it up and look closely, I realize that it is a wheat penny.

 

The next day after I finished reading “Iron John”, I decided to stop after work at Borders Bookstore to buy another book.  At the suggestion of my therapist, I purchased, “Fire in the Belly, A Book about Being a Man”, by Sam Keen.  As I walked out of the store, I quickly took the book out of the bag to page through it.  Standing in front of Borders Books, I suddenly had a very strange feeling of déjà vu, except I could not pinpoint what it was that I had already seen or experienced.   Puzzled, I scratched my head and looked around to try to piece the puzzle together.  My eyes then fell to my feet and to my total disbelief I found myself standing in the middle of a bunch of pennies that someone had apparently dropped on the ground.  Memory of the dream immediately came rushing back into my mind.  There were no nickels, dimes or quarters; only a bunch of pennies.  I could not believe it.

This was apparently just another manifestation in a series of precognitive dreams.  I knew God had to be at work here. I just did not understand what he was trying to tell me.  Remembering the dream and knowing I had agreed to pick up the pennies, I got down on my knees to collect the fallen pennies.  One by one I picked them up.  Would the last penny in fact be a wheat penny?  I just knew in my heart that it had to be true.  I had called on God and this was God’s way of answering.  This was about a dream come true.  In my mind I prayed, “God, if there is something you want me to do, Lord, please make it clear to me now.”

There were dozens of pennies.  When I came to the last penny, I paused, not knowing what to expect.  Were the heavens going to open up?  Was I going to hear God’s voice?  Would an angel appear in front of me?  Since it was already nightfall, I picked up the last penny and stood up and walked over to the window display of the bookstore to have a close look at this miracle penny.  Upon examination and to my amazement the penny was in fact a wheat penny.

I felt overwhelming joy and peace in knowing God was really out there.  On the other hand, I still had no clue what he was trying to tell me. I had a great sense of frustration come over me in not knowing what was being asked of me. “What do you want me to do?”  All my energy drained from my body and I just stood there with my body and head pressed up against the bookstore display window.  With my eyes closed and tears of frustration running down my face, I called out to God, “Please God, what is it you want me to do?”  Nothing.  I heard no voice, I saw no divine apparition, nothing.

“Whatever, let’s go,” I heard my ego say to me.  I wiped my tears and as I opened my eyes and regained my composure, it suddenly hit me. The answer was staring me in the face. I could practically hear God’s voice saying, “I want you to write a book.”

This book is the fulfillment of that request.

 

The saying, “Pennies from Heaven”, took on a personal meaning for me and dream journaling became my connection to God.  For the next 10 years, God would confirm his lessons in my external world with synchronicity by placing pennies in my path for me to find at precisely the right place and time.  The synchronicity of the pennies became unmistakably God’s voice.  Interestingly enough I always found pennies in groups of ones or threes and I knew God in His own way was winking at me letting me know that I was on the right track.

 

For those 10 years not much happened; I did my dream work and studied anything and everything I could get my hands on: Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Edgar Cayce, Self Realization Fellowship, philosophy, mysticism and mythology.  Having been raised Catholic, and being gay, I really did not have a good taste for Christianity.  However, with the sense that God really cared about me, I wanted to give Christianity another try and study it for myself instead of relying on what others had to say.  Therefore, I renewed my interest in Christianity and began studying the Bible independently and with different Christian denominations, including the Mormons. Of course, as soon as I told them I was gay, they all wanted me to renounce my so-called lifestyle choice and be baptized.  Since I would not do that, they eventually wrote me off as a lost soul and went about their business.  However, I knew that God had not abandoned me; he was with me.  I persisted in my independent study and eventually found a non-denominational Christian church that did accept me.  I was baptized by them since I felt baptism into the Catholic faith was not my conscious choice as an infant.

 

Things finally began to shift into high gear in the summer of 2005. I began to see with my eyes closed, colored lights panning back and forth in my field of vision when I was falling asleep at night.  Trying to find the cause of these lights, I researched the Internet and found instances where terminally ill patients often reported having mystical experiences similar to mine several months before dying.  Was I having a mystical experience?  More importantly, was I nearing my own death?  In November of that year, I took a trip to visit my parents in California.  While on that trip one day my sister and I were talking and out of the blue she shared with me that she had this synchronistic thing happening with finding pennies.  She had never shared her penny experiences with me and I never thought to share mine with her.  We looked at each other in disbelief.  I also shared with her my mystical experience of seeing the colored lights.  I affectionately termed the experience “my night lights”.

I took this coincidence to be a sign from God signaling me to put pen to paper or fingertips to keyboard and began the actual writing process for the book He had wanted me to write.  I still did not know what God wanted me to write about, but I assumed it had to do with my life experience and dream work as a source of divine guidance.

That trip was full of synchronicities but now the synchronicities were shared between me, my sister and the universe. Suddenly the phenomenon involved a person outside of me. We were like kids in a candy store. My sister and I began talking almost every day.

END EXCERPT

The coincidence here is that the Mankind Project basis much of it’s work on the story Iron John.

I'm An Indian Boy

Indian BoyI had a dream. I am at home visiting family for the holidays. My cousin Dieanna is there who I haven’t seen in years. We step out onto the porch late at night. I can see the moon lit sky and the bare tree branches. She offers me a Juanita bud, sparks the flame to light and passes it to me. She doesn’t know that I don’t smoke. I feel I shouldn’t reject her offering so I take it and pretend to inhale. As I exhale, the cool damp night creates the faux smoke.

We then go back inside. I’m worried that some of the smoke might have made it past my own barriers. I quickly make my way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the vanity it occurs to me that I’ve never seen my face in the mirror. I then have a second awakening. I must be dreaming. In anticipation of what I’m about to see, I slowly lift my eyes and glance into the mirror. I can see my face clearly. I am an Indian boy with dark almond skin around the age of 17. My hair is thick jet black. My eyes lids have a subtle shade of blue. I comb through my hair with my fingers and reveal a thin red bandana across my forehead that was hidden underneath my hair. I look deeply into my eyes taking fingers as I caress my eyelids removing some of the blue shade. I’m an Indian Boy.

I turn around and leave the restroom. My cousin is waiting for me with a peace offering. She hands me a croissant and says, Eat!

Clergy With Someone

ClergyLast night I had a restless night that resulted in a series of disturbing dreams. In the first dream I am at a party and we are blowing up balloons. They are the type of balloons that are twisted into animal shapes. The balloon I am given is black. The objective is to blow up the balloon to the break point without breaking it. As I begin to blow up my balloon I notice it looks like a penis or dildo. I am disturbed by the image and I want to stop but I feel committed to the challenge. I don’t want to fail. I’m aware that the more I blow the more pleasure is felt by those around me who are observing me. They are urging me on. I’m approaching the break point. Just one more puff. The balloon bursts with a loud pop. I immediately wake up startled by the loud sound and burst of air at my face.

As I open my eyes there is a fat black man looking at me with puffed cheeks, pinched lips and bulging eyes. He reminds me of Louis Armstrong. I am extremely annoyed at his presence. He is the reason why my balloon burst. The look in his eyes tells the whole story. He is making a joke of me. I backhand him and roll on my side to go to sleep.

I then had a dream where I am dating a guy over the internet whose screen name is “ClergyWithSomeone.” Our conversations occur mostly over the internet. At first our chats are pretty typical and very delightful. Then something changes the mood shifts for some reason and I suspect something is wrong. I’m trying to figure out what has changed. Why is it that the internet acting differently? As I examine the computer I realize my hands are stuck to the computer. I am trying to figure out how to detach myself from the device. I’m pulling the computer away from me over my head like a pull over sweater. At this point when I am almost free a white note is passed to me seemingly a chat request. I feel it is from someone trying to help me. I immediately grab for the note in the hope of freeing myself. I’m beginning to wake up.

When I open my eyes I’m completely disoriented. I cannot make heads or tails of my room yet I am awake. I feel like I am recovering from just having passed out as if the blood is just now returning to my brain. As my brain begins to make sense of my bedroom, I see three men floating above my bed. They are standing together in a group facing each other. They are humanoid with the face of an animal specifically a bear or a beaver. Again I am extremely annoyed with them for the dream they have given me. I don’t feel they are making fun of me they are simply telling me the truth, a truth which doesn’t feel so good. I back hand them and turn once again in the other direction and fall back to sleep.

I have another dream. In this dream there is a police officer that has been stocking my house and watching me through my closed windows. He has been watching my movie played on my television screen, a movie of my life. I feel violated. He knows my most personal and intimate details. Upon becoming aware of him I step outside my house onto the front porch to confront him. Given that he is a police officer, I feel I must comply with his demands. He wants to enter my home to inspect it. I turn and walk back toward my front door. Something inside me says, “DON’T DO IT….DON’T BELIEVE HIM…DON’T LET HIM IN. I must react quickly. I make a run for it at a moment in time where he was not expecting it. I slam the iron door closed and quickly turn the dead bolt lock. I tell him he must wait outside while I call the station and confirm that he is in fact who he says he is and has the authority with which to search my home. My actions angers him greatly.

I am in a panic inside the house not knowing what to do next. Who do I call? What should I do? The panic places me in a lucid state a super conscious state where answers are coming to me. I remember that I know how to fly. I am the master of my dreams. I alone am the script writer. I alone must confront him but I will do it prepared with a super conscious awareness. I practice for a moment flying back and forth within my dream house to verify that I can indeed fly and I have my super human powers at my readiness. I then open the door to confront my oppressor. It is dark outside and he is now no where to be found but I know he still lurks in the darkness.

I now go about my business. I walk through the house taking note of all the details. There are mementos of my life and memories of my mother. As I start to remember where I came from, I become lost in the experience. As the wave of information starts to end, I come across a group of photos. They are photos of me with my friends taken in the past. In the first photograph I see the man my oppressor the same man who stood outside my house dressed as a police man. I clearly recognize him now. I hear myself say, “I hate him.” I can’t believe we were once friends but here is the truth on paper. We were friends. I flip through the photos. We are together in a majority of the photos. He smiles like a horse. I remember his presence even in those days was overbearing but he was my friend.

I then hear a sound at the door. He is back and the front door is wide open. He enters the house. We both take flight and confront each other in mid air in a great show of force. He is an extremely powerful opponent with powers that equal mine. His advantage is that he has lived in this underworld for a long time. It is his home turf. I am on his playing field. I on the other hand have been away from my powers having used them only sparingly during the course of my life on earth. The knowledge of how to use them is steadily coming back to me. We collide many times in mid air but I am not backing down. It is not only me for whom I am fighting for. I am fighting for the freedom to be as we really are in our full potential. I am fighting for my family’s right to sovereignty, peace and security. We finally lock each other in a choke hold. I’ve got him by the neck gripped under my arm.

The struggle wakes me up. As I open my eyes there is a face of a man beside me. His face is bright red and he has an expression that is undoubtedly evil. If there is a devil this man is him. Interestingly he has two piercing one on his lip and the other on his nose. He is completely red except for both piercing which are a vibrant luminescent blue. I am amazed that I am seeing this before me in a fully conscious state. I give no expression other that of sheer determinations and steadfast resolve to stand my ground. After a few minutes….his image fades. I then got up and went to the bathroom to pee.

Reading River

RiverLast night I had a dream.  I am at my house and I look out the front window and notice people gathering.  I step outside my front door to and see my neighbor Evelyn standing amongst a group of people.  She is giving them the news that she is moving out of the neighborhood after having lived in her house for over 30 years.  It is the end of an era. 

Upon hearing the news, I begin to cry.  I reach over to embrace my neighbor.  I am heartbroken.  She lovingly hugs me and tells me that everything is going to be ok.  She then draws my attention into the  distance. In front of my house there lies a river at the bottom of a hillside.  Along the bank of the river, I can see my nephew standing with an inflatable raft. 

There is something not quite right with the raft and this image.  I struggle to get a good look at the raft to figure out what is so unusual about it.  I notice that the raft does not have a place in which to sit.  It looks more like an inflatable mattress than a survival raft.  My nephew is fanning the ground with it causing dust to rise into the air like smoke signals.  I’m told he is waiting for his friends to arrive to go into the river with the raft.

My nephew’s behavior strikes me as curious.  I stand there puzzled trying to figure this out.  I have a vague awareness that I might be dreaming.  Nothing makes sense here.  As I’m standing there a strange man walks by.  I get the feeling the stranger does not belong in my dream.  He disappears out of sight. 

I then get in my car and drive around the neighborhood trying to be very observant.  I drive by old neighborhoods where I used to live.  All the housing in this area has been taken over by slumlords.  I attempt to read the writing along the streets paying close attention to the words.  The words don’t make any sense to me.  They are words I do not recognize or much less pronounce. I assume I must be dreaming.  At this moment I see the strange man again from before walk by.  He quickly gets lost in the heightened confusion but I am determined to make sense of this world.

I continue driving focusing hard on trying to take in all the information from this place.  I then notice that my car’s performance is not what it should be.  The car is stuck in second gear and it feels like it wants to stall.  I want to try to get to a place where I can pull over but I am currently driving through an underpass.  I need to make it to the other side.  I am looking over all the instrumentation gages in the car to see what might be wrong with it.  A small white navigational screen appears in the center console of the car.  It is displaying a single word.  Initially I do not recognize the word.  I can read the letters but not the word.   

Aggravated I turn to open the door and get out of the car.  The strange man is standing immediately outside my car.  Without thinking I reach over and grab him through the window of the car by his neck.  I take a firm grip of him and immediately wake up from the dream. 

I had literally sat up in bed when I grabbed for the stranger’s neck.  As I opened my eyes, I found the man clutched in my fist.  I could still see his face in my mind’s eye and before me with my naked physical eyes.  It was as if I had two copies of the same man in my head….one in the back of my mind and one out in the physical world in which I live.  His ethereal presence faded as I vehemently shook him in my physical world.  His expression was one of complete surprise.  He was not expecting me to do that.

Because I jerked myself awake when I reached over and grabbed him by the neck I inadvertently hurt my own neck as my sleeping head did not respond as gracefully to the request my body made to attack the man before me.  As I sat there in bed it occured to me that I did understand the meaning of the word displayed upon the navigational screen.  It’s meaning resonated deep within me with profound truth of which I cannot explain. 

3 days later my neck is still hurting from the incident. 

Love is Perfect; The Bedouin Man

BedouinIn the middle of the night I woke up with the feeling that someone had taken my wallet from off my nightstand.  Before I could even open my eyes, I grabbed for my wallet which was now in the hands of a man who walked beside my bed.  To the man’s surprise, I was successful at reclaiming my wallet from him.  As I opened my eyes, there standing beside my bed was this man.  He was a Bedouin.  Although he stood in my bedroom he also stood simultaneously in his world upon a precipice in the high desert.  He was a beautiful luminescent blue angelic being whose face radiated pure unconditional love.  At times the wind being so strong blew his scarf in front of his face obscuring my view of him.  I raised my hand and arm in front of me to hail his presence.  

                                                     

He then placed a vision in my mind; a dream where I am in a sexual embrace at the point of ecstasy with not a person but the entire universe.  The universe is inside my body.  The feeling was so overwhelming that I completely lost myself forgetting where I was. My being was totally and completely consumed by the experience.  For the first time I experienced real LOVE.  I understood that when we love our love is felt by everyone.  Love is perfect. 

 

As the dream continued and I regain awareness within the dream I realize I forgot to let the dog in from the cold.  I quickly run downstairs in the dream to let him back in.  My dog is so excited to see me.  I kneel upon the floor and my dog jumps into my arms to be cuddled by me.  We walk back upstairs and return to bed. 

 

The vision ends and my awareness is returned to the Bedouin man.  My arm is still outstretched.  My eyes rolled back in my head in utter amazement as my body fell back in bed.  After a few moments, I regained my composure and sat up again to look around the room.  The Bedouin man was nowhere to be found. 

The Dragon's Lair; Sinfully Nothing to Fear

BatsThis dream was so long it started one night and continued on the next.  Both dreams were so amazing and detailed I can only hope to give a glimpse of what happened..  I was also fully lucid in both dreams.  I remember reentering the dream half a dozen times or more just because it was so exhilarating to do so.  I wanted to experience it again and again and again.  With each re-entry the dream changed slightly with my new awareness. 

 

On the first night I am retracing human history and find the Elohim.  I somehow know that if I find enough of the pieces where they were left it will be enough to piece it all back together.  I fly and soar to heights only dreamed of.  My last clue is found in the crystals. 

 

On the next night I reentered the dream again soaring to heights well above the earth.  I can see a planet in the distance.  This planet is similar to the moon but darker as it does not reflect much light. I allow myself to enter into orbit around the planet.  I want to see the life that is on this planet.  There are many dark caves yet I can see in the darkness.  The caves are protected by many uncircumcised penis like creatures with wings that fly like bats in the night.  They scratch and bite at my hands.   I can hear them talking.   “This is the dragon’s lair.”  

 

By entering I defied the dragon and angered him.  I could also hear my own thoughts.  I knew they could hear my thoughts.  I wanted them to know I wanted them to “Bring it on”. I then said in a slow deliberate thought, “Simply nothing to fear” but for some reason my saliva got my tongue stuck and the word “Sinfully” came out instead of “Simply.” I then felt my own dribble hit my forehead in a wet creamy paste. 

 

Knowing I am the beast and I am the dream, there is nothing for me to fear.  I’ve basically forever been afraid of my own shadow.  Hell then became a very cold place. My metabolism slowed to a crawl.  I heard them say will he be able to make it back.  I didn’t care I felt I had already died a million times.  If this was the realization of death then so be it.  One of them noticed I was wearing a cell phone.   

The Cicada of Truth

Green CicadaTonight I had some of the most incredibly vivid dreams I have ever had.  I must have gotten up to go to the bathroom at least 3 times and each time the dreams continued right where they had left off the minute I closed my eyes without waiting for me to fall back asleep. 

 

In the first dream I am visiting my first lover Jerry who is now living on a secluded mountaintop in a very large house.  Walking through his house, I am amazed that he has been so successful in his life to have acquired so many wonderful things to adorn his house with.  He has obviously exercised good judgment in his decision making.  He has several young daughters, twins and triplets from about the ages of 3 to 5 years old.  All of them love to play games with him. He is their Daddy.  He sets up scenes for them to play house and hide in miniature worlds which he cordons off with curtain sheers.  He illuminates their play area from within. He hides behind the curtain and watches them play.  He interacts with them in this way by moving the curtain to create shadows.  Every once in a while one of the little girls will pop her head out through the curtain to see what he is about to do next.  She has caught on to his game. They are so engaged with each other it is such a joy to watch the love that is between them.  The girls look up to him and want to be around him all the time.  They crave his attention.  His activities with his children keep him so happy and busy that he does not have any time left to live the gay life he used to live.  His life is now consumed by his children.   It is a simple life yet he would not have it any other way. He is simply a man.

 

I walk over to one of the other rooms of the house and find a bed where I lay my head down to enjoy the comfort of his home while my sister prepares a meal for us.  As I lay there it occurs to me that I might be dreaming, because my sister is not one to be preparing a meal.  I then begin to hear a loud buzzing sound.  It is a sound I can clearly place outside of the dream.  Believing it is a sound in my bedroom, I open my eyes (in real life).

 

Hanging upside down from the ceiling are two non human creatures.  They are a transparent luminescent green and remind me of those long tubular balloons they have at the fair that are twisted to form different animal like shapes.  My ceiling in the bedroom is at least 12 feet high.  These beings hung upside down and were at least 5 feet long.  I raised my arm at the one on my right to let him know I could see him.  The deafening sound they were making reminded me of a cicada bug. One of the two jumped down off the ceiling and landed on my bed and quickly jumped on the floor and stood by my left bedpost at my feet. The other remained suspended from the ceiling.  Within the shrill of their speech was a telepathic message.  They kept asking me to do them a favor.  They insisted I do something for them but they refused to say please so I refused to carry out their wish.  For some reason I can’t remember what they wanted maybe they blocked my memory of the conversation but they were apparently not able to block my intention. What I do remember distinctly is that they would not say please. 

 

I finally got tired and grabbed my nightshirt which was lying on the floor beside me and swung it in their direction to get them to shut up.  The one hanging from the ceiling quickly jumped on the bed and both rushed off into the hallway. 

 

I got up out of bed and followed them with my night shirt in hand but they were nowhere to be seen.  I wasn’t about to go looking for them downstairs I had a dream to continue so instead I took advantage of the opportunity and found my way to the restroom to take a leak then returned to bed to continue the dream.

 

The moment I laid down I began to hear voices.  I knew they were alien voices.  I knew I would see their craft if I looked for it.  I knew they were close by I just needed to meditate and take myself there.  After a few minutes I did see their space ship clear as day.  It was an amber craft that looked like an upside down tea cup without the handle.  It had a high dome saucer shape which was unlike any of the ones I’ve seen in the media.  It did not look very aerodynamic to me with such a high profile.  It looked more lake an old beetle, nevertheless this thing could fly.

 

A few minutes later I was among them on a carousel under their custody and protection.  They asked me how I got there.  I told them I didn’t know how I got there I just knew I had fallen asleep and was lying in bed dreaming.  Standing in their presence it occurred to me that I might be having an out of body experience.  They took me to a high ledge and asked me if I knew how to fly.  I took one look below at the profound depth above which I stood and replied, “Of course I know how to fly.”  I then let myself drop off the cliff.  Instead of flying to greater heights I went straight for the shadowy depths.  I could hear their concerned voices trying to instill fear in me telling me I would not be unable to return from such terrible depths. They said the shadows would attach themselves to me and imprison me. What they did not tell me which I know to be true is that the shadows can be transformed by the light.   I resisted their attempts to instill fear in me knowing that even the shadows of death can be transformed.   I walked upon the dead sand in the depths of darkness and as I did slowly things around me began to come back to life. Things began to illuminate from within.  I found that I was standing upon the belly of a man.  I walked over to his mouth and opened it to look inside.  I could hear them counseling me otherwise.  Within his mouth lay another man asleep.  I knew that man to be me.  

 

Scary gruelly figures started to come out from all areas. One was like Medusa with worms and creatures coming out of her hair and skin but I was unaffected and unafraid.  She looks at me and asks, “Do you know who you are?”  I reply, No I don’t, but what I do know is that I have the power to bring light to darkness.”