A Beeded Breast

Día de Muertos, Fruitvale, Oakland, California USA; Takasphoto.com

December 28, 2018

I know I say this all the time but last’s night’s dream was very cool.  I am in a stadium.  Apparently I live here.  I am trying to decide where to put my office to make room for the baby.  The stadium is so expansive I want the layout to make sense.  It is recommended to me that I set my office on the stage as then it would be sectioned off for this specific purpose.  I believe it to be a good idea.  I am waiting for people to arrive.  It seems the business we conduct is growing and we therefore can benefit from the added space the stadium provides.  We still have use of some old freight containers where we used to conduct our business.  These containers can be put to other use.  There is a guy here dressed like a flamboyant gypsy.  He is very handsome.   I can see his pants ballooning as he walks.  He seems to be the one providing interior design ideas.  He shows me how he has repurposed the shipping containers.  As I walk through to look at the new layout a man catches me eye.  We look at each other.  There is an immediate intense attraction but I am somewhat distracted by the gypsy and his show and tell.

An opportunity arises for me to visit privately with the man as the gypsy walks off ahead of us.  The man comes over and I immediately offer him a hug.  As he goes to hug me his shirt opens up revealing his chest.  His chest has many beads with an emblem in the center of his heart.  The beads seem to be something I identify with.  I am so happy to see him.  I pull him in close to me. As I reach around to his back with my bear hug my hands feel beeds that hang on his back also.  The beeds offer me an ever greater assurance he is the one I’ve been searching for.

The warmth from our bodies creates ashes that float away in the wind.  When I first notice the ashes they look like bats because the seem to be flying in the air but as I look at them more closely I realize they are not bats but the ashes from the sage I have been burning in my offerings.   The ashes are going everywhere.    I worry they will be upset with me for the mess I am making with the ashes.  I want to continue hugging the man but the hugs are creating more ashes.  I hug him for just a little bit longer giving him one lasting hug.  I look again at the ashes to see what I might need to do to clean up but now I notice the ashes are turning into babies.  Hundreds of babies.  Each ash flake developing into a baby.  Oh no, what I am going to do with so many children.

 

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I found this image on the internet.  I was thinking where can I possibly find an image of a man with a ton of beeds on his chest.  This one seems so perfect as it has the man wearing an emblem on his chest.  I assume the beeds probably hang down on his back.  He holds the same look the guy did in my dream.  A look of wanting or yearning.  A look that calls you close.

I like that much like the ashes relate to a ritual, the indigenous man probably also has rituals he engages in.

 

This image was used for editorial purpose only.

Shattering of the Universe; How Magick Happens

December 26, 2018

Last night’s dream was very cool.  I was watching Harry Potter before going to bed and I wondered if there was a train platform numbered 9 3/4 in my dream where magick happens and if my dreams have a school of Hogwarts for teaching magick.  I fell asleep with the thought.

In the dream, I find myself at work.  I am friendly with the guy who is the parking attendant for my building.  His company owns several businesses including several parking lots.  Since his workers don’t make a lot of money, he offers them investment tips.  On this day, I over hear him giving out some tips in the way of business news.  I then go about my business.

At work one of my coworkers is Marcus who is a very heavy set black guy who reminds me of the Marcus from MKP.  He is also gay as is Marcus from MKP.  In talking to Marcus, I notice his beautiful qualities and his inner potential.  Even though he is over weight, I help him see a bright future for himself.  In talking to him, something he tells me rings true with the conversation I overheard early regarding the business news.  Today’s news I believe Marcus can apply directly to his life.  Marcus is very excited and begins believing in himself.  He is loosing weight and is wearing a beautiful blue dress.  His hair is long and his makeup is done up nicely.  He likes dressing to accentuate his feminine side.

The next morning, I tell Marcus to meet me at the parking lot where I can introduce him to the parking lot attendant.  We are waiting just outside the parking booth for the attendant to arrive with today’s business news.  After he offers the news to his employees, I get his attention and introduce Marcus.  I stutter in explaining how he can possibly help Marcus.  My inner dialog doesn’t want to seem as if I am asking for his help under an Affirmative Action because he is black.  I want him to know I believe in Marcus and I think he can benefit greatly from his assistance.  As if to read my mind, the parking attendant tells me not to worry, he will help Marcus as I’ve indicated.  Excited with his approval I look at Marcus who now looks stunning.  I pause for a moment to see how Marcus has changed.  I think to myself, “I could really love someone as beautiful as Marcus.”

We walk together back to our office.  Marcus is very excited on his new prospects for the future.  I am happy to have been able to help him in this way.  A truck is driving out of the parking lot and down a road where there is construction.  He drives over a pot hole.  I yell don’t do it you won’t survive the fall.  His car splits in two and is swallowed up by the river that runs along side the road.  I tell Marcus he will have to pluck his car out of the river now.  Marcus and I continue walking.  As we walk, Marcus comes up with a way to apply this new knowledge to help the man recover his truck.  He is eager to help someone.  He comes up with a way to create a sonic boom.  The boom will fragment the Universe shattering it to pieces just enough for the man to recover his truck from the river.  The shattering of the Universe allows us to easily rearrange the pieces of the truck.

The idea works as the boom sounds.  The Universe now looks like a mosaic.  Through the cracks a worm hole appears and a beautiful lavender light comes rushing in.  I see and understand how magick happens.  I realize it is Marcus who helps me.

Party Coordinator’s Kaleidoscope

December 19, 2018

In this dream, I am at a party and I meet a guy who I believe on some level is Travis but in the dream I don’t know him to be Travis. I would say he feels like Travis.  After spending time with him, I feel he is someone I would want to date.  The Party Coordinator walks over to me to show me the Party Log of Events which has in it all possibilities.  The Log is a Wheel that looks like a Kaleidoscope made of many tiny crystals each reflecting a distinct possibility.  In it I see where the Party Coordinator also met this same guy Travis and also had feelings for him.  Knowing we both like him to the same degree, I tell him he can have him since I have a baby.  Wanting to see the baby but not recalling where the baby is in the dream, I take a moment to reflect where I might have left him.  The baby sleeps off to my left in a blue bassinet.  I stroke the baby’s face lightly so as to not startle it.  The baby opens one eye followed by the other.  Without words he communicates to me, “You forgot to change my diaper.”  I look down at his puffy blue diaper and stick my finger in it to check.  It is neither wet nor soiled.  The baby then chuckles.

With his chuckle, I sense this is a dream.

As I awoke from the dream, I still held in my minds eye the Kaleidoscope shining so brightly it looked at times like the sun.  It’s edges glowed a fiery of red.

Travis

December 2nd, 2018

This is a difficult dream to journal.  In the dream I have been interested in a guy for a long time.  I follow him around without him knowing I am interested in him.  I do this for many days, weeks and years.  One day he finds out I am interested in him but by this time I have already met Travis in my waking life.  Here is where it gets a bit confusing because several timelines are happening at the same time.  For what feels like an eternity I have been interested in him but have never shown or expressed my interest to him.  I remember hugging him from behind on many occasions in a friendly loving way.  On this given day he walks by me and pauses.  Someone else possibly a friend of his grabs him from behind the way I have always grabbed him from behind to hug him.  He looks at me and I look at him.  I say to myself, “This is how I hug him”.  I wish he had known all this time how much I love him.  He looks at me as if reading my mind.

There is another parallel scene where I walk behind him wishing he had known how much I love him.  I think to myself if he was to turn around right now …… he turns around and looks at me and with his look he acknowledges he really does love me the way I love him.

Now going back to the first scene as he is being hugged from behind he turns to me and says I should meet him near the bathroom.  But now I have to tell him I found someone I like and am no longer available.  So I head toward the bathroom.  I never really end up at the bathroom instead I seem to find him everywhere I go.  No matter where I go, he is there.  I am confused because it feels like he is Travis except I’m not expecting Travis to be in my dream.

The Eagle Has A Partner

November 28, 2018

Last night I had a heart to heart talk with God.  I have been frustrated with being single and unable to find anyone who feels right.  I am frustrated seeing Facebook profiles with guys and their partners and wondered why I can’t have a partner.  Even unattractive people seem to have found partners.  I consider myself a good person with a big heart and a lot of love to give.  I felt God is wasting my time years of my life I could be loving someone.

So I got gut honest with him and told him in no short terms to CUT THE BULLSHIT something is wrong with your programming.  Fix it. I’m tired of waiting.

So I had a dream and in the dream a woman who is in a high position of authority tells me they are going to conduct a full audit of my record.  I am scared the announcement seems so serious.  The records they will be auditing are of the highest importance.  I assume it is my karmic record the sum balance of my life.

I turn to leave and glance out the window where I see two tiger stripped eagles grooming and playing with each other.  Momentarily distracted by the eagles I think to myself.  “The eagle has a partner.”

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

Upon waking up I recorded my dream and proceeded to have my morning coffee.  I swiped through one of my online dating apps and the first profile I came to was one of a guy who I am very much attracted to.  I messaged him and thought this never works.  Later in the day he actually messaged back.  We proceeded to correspond and something clicked.  A click I’ve not experienced in a long time.  We seemed to hit it off.  Was this an answer to my prayer.  Well I sit here journaling this a week later and in that week we have talked and FaceTimed.  I think there is something there.  I have a very good feeling about this person.  I think the Eagle might very well have a partner.

Who’s Sleeping In My Bed?

November 5, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself returning to my living quarters.  I am in a hurry.  I seem to be on auto-pilot.  I am walking down a long corridor with a lot of doors.  I turn into the door which corresponds to my room.   I know exactly where I am going.

Once in the room, I notice someone has brought a wooden head board into my space along  with a small twin bed.  The head board is not yet attached to the bed.  This is something I am expecting to occur but I didn’t think they were delivering it before I got here so the room isn’t arranged to my liking or maybe I am just offended someone made the changes made during my absence without my input. After studying the layout it seems my bed has been moved to one side to make room for the twin bed.  I image the head board being placed in its appropriate place and with a little tidying up the room should be acceptable again.

Somewhat lucid now it occurs to me I don’t know who the twin bed is for.  Who is sleeping in the twin bed?   With that thought I seem to remember David from yesterday’s dream.  Is he sleeping in my bed?  I have a warm feeling come over me as if the dream has given me some small indication that I won’t be alone anymore.   Are these new sleeping arrangements waiting for me?  Are changes coming to my life?

Wedding Song On The High Sea’s

October 5, 2018

In last night’s dream I am part of a group of people.  I am with a partner she seems to be androgynous of both male and female sex.  At times I refer to her in the feminine and at other times she appears to me in the masculine.  We are getting married or are engaged.    Her life seems easy to me.  She happens to be at the right place at the right time.  In one instance she invests in a start up and makes a huge amount of money.  I want to bring something to the relationship that is special and of my own doing.  I wonder if there are interesting start up that I can invest in that would bring similar returns.  I decide to buy some stock.  The stock certificates are guaranteed to have a gain.  This certificate is multi faceted.  It is a marriage certificate, a birth certificate and a stock certificate all at the same time.  I place the certificate on a sheet of cake upon which the marriage cake will be placed.  I plan on revealing the certificate when the cake is cut.

My jealousy is showing a bit toward her easy gains.  I want the time to come soon for me to reveal my surprise but so many other things have to be done in preparation before we can have our celebration and reveal.  I seem to have a deja-vue within the dream and recall having been here before.  I seem to know the events which will play out.  I try to recall where I’ve come to know the truth.   I recall a movie like Titanic  and realize my life is playing out just like in the movie.  I seem to know the ending.  I remember from the movie that the couple have a fight and the cake is thrown in the ocean.  Along with the cake so too are lost the certificates.  In the end they live together happily but without knowledge of what was lost.  I feel I have to do something to change the course of events and maybe I can recover the cake and certificates so we can have a much better life together.   I go to her to discuss what she is going to wear for the wedding.  She shows me a black leather harness.  In my mind, I think oh no how could you wear a leather harness to your wedding.  Without me even saying anything she replies, “It’s in the way you wear it.”  She who is now in the masculine form twists the suspenders so as to make a new use for the harness.  She then proceeds to create bearded tassels which look very similar to my beard in color and form.   She / He gives the impression it will keep us together.  I look at him and think how beautiful he is even though I’m not fond of the leather harness.  In the back of my mind I still want to find a way to safeguard the certificates so they aren’t lost to sea or does happiness lie not in material wealth.

A School Of Fish To Love

September 13, 2018

In last nights dream I am with my 2nd partner Michael who is visiting me or passing through my space.  Its like he really doesn’t belong here and is somewhat intruding on my time.  One observation about him is that he is very very cute but that is apparently not enough to keep my interest or focus.  I try to visit with him on the side almost as if I’m multitasking not really having time to be with him.  A third person enters and says there are issues with the plumbing in my unit.  I’m told they have had to call the plumber to make repairs 3 times.  All three times were as a result of something Michael did.   Having discovered that Michael is “my guest” I am therefore responsible for the repairs and they can’t charge my maintenance contract because the damages were caused by someone other than me.

I don’t have time to focus on these issues because I have to attend a class with a guy who I am interested in.  Because I’m trying to do two things at once my party for the class becomes scattered and we therefor don’t end up sitting together.  I am disappointed because I want to sit with the cute guy who I’m interested in.  Now sitting alone I look at the class syllabus.  I can clearly see the writing on the pages of the syllabus.  I am trying to decide whether to  sit through the class or just get up now and leave.  It doesn’t seem like something I’d be interested in normally but I want to be a part of this group and the chance at meeting and developing a relationship with this guy.

I decide to remain in the class.  Once it starts we are told everyone has to wear blue and grey.  I feel wholly unprepared believing I am not following the dress code.  The cute guy comes over to me and he is obviously wearing blue and grey.  I look at myself and to my surprise I just happen to be wearing silk blue lapels, on a grey suit jacket and blue pants.  My tie is metalic grey.  The cute guy tells my “….but you’re tie isn’t grey” to which I answer yes it is.  I want to convince him of this fact because I want to remain in the class especially now that I have his attention.  I look at my tie a second time and realize the tie changes colors depending on the viewing angle.  From one angle it is grey/blue and from the other it is silver/gold.

The class progresses and at the end we all get ready to leave.  As I stand there saying good bye I realize we are all in water and there are fish swimming around me.  The fish are the fish from my aquarium in real life.  I recently had all my fish except 2 die from a disease in the tank.  I can see the last fish which was my favorite and the largest one swim past me.  It comes to rest in the guys hand.  I tell him to please not hurt the fish.

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Rebuilding Love Lost Hospital

September 5, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself standing outside an old abandoned building.  There is a man who stands with me.  He is the lone survivor and now is working to restore the building.  He tells me the story of the building.  He says it was a hospital at one time where many people were healed.  I can tell the building suffered a fire.   I ask him what happened to the patients in the building at the time of the fire.  He tells me the fire killed everyone except him.  I ask him if the building is now haunted.  He says it definitely is haunted.  The spirits of the dead still live here.  I ask is he is not afraid to work here to which he answers NO someone has to do the work.  I offer to help him.  I am with my dog Butters.  He then gives me a tour of the building to see what people were doing right before the fire.  I can see a couple making out in their car in the parking lot. There is a little boy who comes toward me and starts walking at my side.  I assume he wants to come along for the tour.  I place my palm on his head to let him know he is welcome on the tour.  I notice the moment my palm touches his hair on his head a wave of energy flows through me.  This energy lifts us both up off our feet.   I immediately have the ability of flight.  We float together to the higher floors of the hospital.

I am now lucid.  Knowing I have powers in the dream, I take a good look around me, at my surroundings to try to understand the mechanics of the dream and the correlation between the dream and my waking life.  I can see the fabric of the the dream vibrating with rainbow colors in which the dream constructs the scenes.  I think to myself this must be my aura or spirit as it’s light extends beyond my dream body.  I look around for Butters and discover he is now a young man.  I think his child name might need to be changed to reflect his new manhood.

Four Dreads

www.manbunhairstyle.net

August 26, 2018

I had a dream where I am with a group of guys.  They are all partnered.  Each one has his partner with him.  I consider my own circumstances and know I don’t have a partner.  Feeling alone I look around me and notice a guy standing behind me.  How long has he been there.  It feel like he has been in my blind spot for a long time.  He is obviously my partner because he likes me and is paired with me.  Why haven’t i noticed him before?  I turn to look at him to see if I can answer the question.  I look carefully at him.  He is able to change his appearance easily.  His appearance changes and now he is wearing dreads.  His hair seems to float in space.  He turns his head back and forth gently to move fling his hair at me.  It seem to move in slow motion.  I tell him his dreads look like shoe laces.

I sense it is time for me to leave.  I don’t want anyone to know I’ve been here.  So I decide to fly out of the space instead of walking through any doors.  I begin to fly but instead of flying over the horizon I am flying straight up.

~~~~~ Dream Ends

I found it very curious that the guy changed his hairstyle while I was looking at him and why of all hairstyles he chose to fashion dreads and why he intentionally floated his dreads at me.  I have no attraction to dreads, I have nothing against them but I’m not called toward them.  I do however like unkempt messy hair which dreads might fall into that category.

As a word dreads is one letter off from dreams so I looked at the neurological values and both D and M share the same value of 4. The word dreams or dreads has a value of 6.

FOUR

The Ruler  –  Saturn

4 is the number of Foundation  –  the four winds, the four seasons, the four astrological elements.

4’s are solid, ‘four-square’ reliable, practical, plodding, home-loving, succeed through diligence and perseverance.

4 DESTINY / LIFE PATH

Positive Characteristics:

Number 4s are hard-working, loyal and ambitious and have a great deal of common sense and a practical approach to life. Number 4 Destiny/Life Path people are careful and unlikely to make a decision without giving the matter a great deal of thought. Once number 4s have reached a decision they will be determined on their decided course of action and will follow through.

Other people depend upon number 4’s ability to cope with life’s ups and downs and are drawn to the stability of number 4 Destiny people as they are reliable friends and do not change their opinions easily.

Number 4 Destiny people are able to manifest on all levels and are willing and able to put preparation, proper thought, passion and purpose into all that they do in order to achieve their goals and aspirations.

Number 4’s often end up becoming the pillars of the community as these individuals are hard working, practical and trustworthy. The 4 Destiny person is practical, loyal, security-conscious and business-minded.

You have the potential for great success if you overcome your insecurities  –  that is your challenge.