Look At Me Bobby

June 6th, 2018

I had a dream where my mom has a museum where she displays artifacts from history.  The artifacts have religious or spiritual connotations.  Things like tuning bowls, instruments, mandalas etc.  My mom lives in the house behind the museum.  Someone comes into the museum looking for her wanting to borrow my bike. The person is a cousin possibly Victor.  I’m thinking I hope my mom hasn’t started lending out my things to people because these things are things I cherish and have great value and memories tied to them.  I don’t seem to remember how to get to her house.  He tells me they need access to the water lines.  As he is leaving, I tell him,  I am the son of Otilia.  I then discretely follow behind him knowing if I follow him he will lead me to where my mom is or lives.  I may learn more about my mom.  Behind the house is a natural body of water which is very deep.  The water glows orange and yellow in the light of the sun.  He now has lion hair and a furr coat on.  He now reminds me of my cousin Jeannette.  She dives in to retrieve what they need to access the water main.  When she comes out at the other end I tell her she didn’t have to jump in the water with her coat on.  She then takes the coat off to dry it and now she is a man with a beautiful hairy chest.  I think to myself, why would you cover that up his beautiful furry chest with a furr coat?  He rushes off to get his firetruck.  I am looking in the direction where he went waiting to see him return when from behind a truck and trailer approach.  The truck has no sides or top.  I ask him if it is legal to drive around like that.  He gets off the truck and tells me this is his firetruck.

Scenes flash before me like short 3 second movie clips.  Messages from these people come rushing in.  In one clip, I see my son when he is young.  I stop the clip because after all its my dream and I want to see my son.  The dream pauses for just a moment long enough for me to get a good look.

(Click on above image it’s a 3 second clip)

In the time span of a breath I take in his image.  Feeling complete I exhale allowing the dream to continue.  I then see a man who looks at me.  I am still coming off the intense high of seeing my son so I am not paying much attention to anything else.  I feel like I have what I came for.  Again he makes a facial gesture indicating he too has a message for me.  I am still unable to focus.  He looks directly into my eyes and says,  “Look at me.”  I pause long enough for me to get a good look at this man.  The dream ends here as his image slowly fades from my mind.  Who is this man?

~~~~ DREAM ENDS HERE

I then woke up and recorded the details of the dream.  After my coffee I wanted to know who this man was.  Why was it so important for me to look into his eyes.  I said a prayer and walked into my library glancing slowly at the pictures on the shelves.  I wanted to find a picture with someone I can look into their eyes.  I then came to my Grandmothers photograph.  I stared at my Grandma for a few minutes and felt complete.

I then went upstairs to start my day.  The man’s face a man I’ve never seen before yet clear as day in my mind’s eye sat there not wanting to leave me.  I turned on the TV to watch MSNBC.  The news was having a segment honoring Robert F Kennedy.  It was a long segment on his life.  I am slightly annoyed because I want the regular news.  What is going on with Bobby Kennedy today that they are taking so much time recounting his life.  They then turned to a picture of him and OMG it was his face in my dream.  It was his face exactly.

I then went online to look for pictures of him to possibly look into his eyes.  Come to find out today it is the 50th anniversary of his death.  He died 50 years ago at Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles.

My grandmother Simona Camargo also died at Good Samaritan Hospital when I was in the 8th grade probably 1978.  This is the picture I have of my Grandmother in my library.  I worked at Good Samaritan as a candy stripper the summer she died.  My aunt Helen also worked there as a nurse.  I thought it unusual when I came to her picture how perfect it felt to looking into her eyes.  I felt it must have been her.  I thought maybe my grandma came to me as a man in my dream but why would she do that?  Apparently there was so much more to be told.  What is the coincidence that today would be the anniversary of Bobby’s death.  Curious too the image I found online of bobby near the body of water is a 3 second clip much like the clips presented to me in the dream.  Had he possibly been swimming there in that picture?  And apparently he has a hairy chest.  So many coincidences.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was OB I saw before this man showed his face.  Was it then OB all along showing me his firetruck?  I like the picture of Bobby and the little girl.  I imaging myself someday with OB.  I wonder is that was his daughter.  I don’t know much about Bobby Kennedy.  Was OB my Grandma and Bobby all in heaven conspiring to send me messages.  I think so. I am a blessed man to have a direct connection to the higher realms.

May you rest in Peace Bobby.  And to my Grandma I remember you like it was yesterday.  I will never forget you.  Le tengo mucho amor abuelita.

 

Sasha’s Pocket Pastries

 

May 27, 2018

I am the co-producer of a movie actually more like the technical director of the movie.  Hillary Clinton is in the movie playing one of the parts.  She has to travel from Los Angeles to DC.  When I see her I know she had to travel all that distance to get here and is apparently in good shape.  She is refreshed and ready to go.  She is not one for detail so I have to explain the technicalities to her such that she is able to carry out only her actions.  For her to remember more is simply ineffective.  Plus I don’t want to tell her too much about the movie because there are a lot of sex scenes so it is best to just tell her the technical details of her scenes.

I am now on a coffee break with my friend Sasha, she is here on a short term assignment.  I am looking through the pastry cart at the offerings available.  The coffee smells delicious.  There are so many pastries to choose from.  I spot a double decker pastry I like.  I reach for the dish with one hand while pouring my coffee with the other.  At the same time, I’m chatting with Sasha.  Distracted I look down at my pastry and realize it has changed.  I am frustrated because I want the other one I chose.  I internalize a thought that says to me,  “I should have known the dream would change the scene on me,  (apparently I am aware I am in a dream).”  I slap the pastry dish down on the counter to look for the one I desire.  I feel it is near me.  I look and look and look, turning around several times to find it.  I sense it is close but I don’t see where it might be or who might have taken it from me.  I feel they are playing a hide and seek or bait and switch games with me.  It occurs to me to check my pockets.  I reach behind me and in my back pocket are the pastries of my desire in perfectly wrapped single servings portioned out for me.  The pastries have multiplied.  As I pull one out of my pocket there is another on it’s heels remaining in my pocket.  I pull one after another after another until four pastries are sitting on the counter.  There seems to be an endless supply within my back pocket.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS.

When I did wake up i had a pain in my ankle just above my heel.   Since dreams always enjoy word play I point this out since the word also showed up in a physical sense.  I also thought it interesting that my friend Sasha who I hardly know was in the dream.  I wonder if that is close to Santa and if that is a play on words.  I put the reference here for future use.  I like the message of the dream because it is an indication to me that what I desire is already in my back pocket.  The highlight of my day is always my morning coffee and danish.

 

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After waking up in the morning and doing my usual bathroom break, I returned to bed for the precious snooze.  I immediately find myself in a restaurant.  We are seated at a long picnic style table which reminds me of the last supper because everyone is sitting on one side.  There is a male family member seated at the other end of the table who stands up.  His act of not conforming to what we are doing namely sitting to eat outrages me.  In a stern tone I tell him, “Sit your ass down!”  I am looking through the menu deciding what to order.  I decide to order empanadas but the waiter tells me the empanadas have to be picked up from a location in Columbia which would take me a day to travel there.  Curiously, I recall Columbia referenced in a previous dream but this doesn’t quite yet trigger a lucid state.  I decide to order pizza instead but cannot decide on the size of the pie.  The waiter shows me the square pizza boxes.  They are twice as deep as you would expect them to be.  He opens a 16 inch box which has a double decker wedding cake inside.  It reminds me of my new Shamanic drum which I just purchased.  He cuts the cake in gesture saying, “Your pizza fits inside.”

A waitress tells me the game played at the restaurant is Pig Latin.  Whatever you say you must substitute the p’s for d’s.  They seem to be very good at substituting the sound.  They do this effortless.  This frustrates me because there is always a new requirement.

I am given an envelope with seeds to occupy my time while I wait.  I walk outside so as to not be required to participate in the Pig Latin game. The envelope is getting wet as the day is cloudy, drizzly and grey.  The fibers in the envelope are breaking down exposing the seed to the moisture.  I worry the seeds will germinate before I am able to plant them in an appropriate place.  I begin walking looking for a place to plant them and discover I am in Paris.  Knowing I don’t have to be anywhere until tomorrow, I decide to take advantage of the situation and walk up the Champs-Élysées toward Rue de Rivoli and the Le Marais district.  I’ve been here before so I know my way around.  I will find an appropriate park to plant the seeds on my walk.

The sites are so beautiful I want to take a picture.  As in a dream from yesterday I don’t have a camera with me.  This awareness triggers a lucid state.  The walk is longer than I remember it to be so I sit down.  My seat then begins to move continuing in the direction of Le Marais.  Beneath my seat, I hear a pipe or muffler dragging on the ground behind me.  I smile with an inner knowing, this is just a sound effect let it drag I am not worried about it.   The chair is now moving at a good clip.  I turn and look back taking in the sites, “That muffler doesn’t seem to be impeding my progress.”

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I had a dream where I am with family.  We are getting ready to leave.  There is an ice cream machine with dulce de leche flavor.  I scoop out the remaining amount and share with those around me.  There are areas with concentrated cream that is so sweet I try saving the majority for me.  It is a lot of sugar but I it is so good I share it, keeping most of the best for me.

After leaving, we walk by an antique dealer on the street just like the one on New York Ave.  There is a beautiful baby grand piano.  It is kid sized.  There is a woman inspecting it.  She lifts the lid to expose the strings.  I ask her if it is a harpsichord.  She responds, “No its a Zither.” She then proceeds to show me how she pulls and plucks the strings.

The Kids Table

I had a dream where I am trying to coordinate a flight with my ex Joe.  I have to find a place to park my car but the airport parking lot is full and I’m told by the parking attendant that there is a detour and he advises me to find another option.  He points me in the direction of a metered spot but I am suspicious of that spot because I don’t want to get a ticket just in case I don’t get back in time to pick up the car.  Instead I go looking for another parking space.  I am able to find street parking nearby.  I don’t know when the flight is but I do know it is scheduled soon.

I then find myself trying to save my goldfishes.  Someone has placed them in a bucket with very little water.  The fish are struggling to swim.  I feel a strong connection to them as if they were my children.  I go looking for a water bottle to try and save them. I find a blue and grey bottle in the kitchen cupboard.  I fill it up with water and pour it in the bucket only to find the bucket has holes everywhere.  Someone is trying to sabotage my effort. One of the fishes is already dead.  Mocha and Cleo now eat the fish not knowing they are special.

My brother Paz is trying to entrap me between a concrete wall. Paz  has sided with Trump and is now a terrorist.  He is jealous of my spiritual connection and wants to kill me or have me go missing so that he can claim my property.  I’m really tired of dealing with the Paz’s character and decide I will no longer be part of it.  I refuse to give him power over me.  I step into my faith in the knowledge that I am OK regardless of what Paz is  doing.  I then surrender and step into the space between the  concrete walls.  My friends Toni C and Stephen are here along with other friends from various groups who have come to this space to support me.  The space between the walls begins to provide a clearing.

Those gathered here tell me that they have gathered my seed and I have born a child but that the child has the defect of illegitimacy.  They bring the child to me and I feel compassion for his situation.  I take the child and he grows up in my arms.  I teach him how to fly and watch him become a man.  We take flight together and become one.  I feel him against my loins and groin and in my spirit with a feeling of ecstasy.  The feeling is beautiful and overwhelming.

Now in full flight we ascend to an elevation high above to the tops of the buildings where I see a bezeled window with a cut out shape much like a cookie cutter opening.  The opening is large enough for my spirit to pass .  We pass through the opening.

We are in flight.  He is now a full grown man.  Having taught him everything I pass my power to him and now he carries me.  I can feel the wind touch my body.  We are facing each other.  I am moving backward as he is moving forward.    Its time to find a resting place.  As we descend he becomes younger and younger.  Once we land his presence leaves me.

I then find myself sitting at a wooden picnic table where I meet a man.  He is seated beside me.  I am talking to the memory of my son as if he were still with me.  I feel silly talking to someone that is not there.  I’m afraid the man seated next to me will think I’m crazy.  I am telling the man about my dreams and how wonderful they are.  I’m getting confused.  I can’t distinguish whether I’m dreaming or not.  Although I am in a dream, I do not feel like I’m dreaming.  A young boy comes up to me from out of the blue.  Without skipping a beat, I continue talking to him as my son.  He tells me about school and what he is learning.  We have a fun conversation about playful things.  I share with him how my life is.  He then runs off telling me he needs to head back to school. As he is leaving, I remind him how much I love him.

I then resume talking to the man who is sitting next to me.  I tell him how my dreams reveal my son.  I struggle to describe what I have experienced in all its fullness.  You have to be present to fully appreciate the magic.  Once again I feel silly believing the man will question my sanity.

In that moment from out of the blue a young boy appears to hand me a chocolate.  The chocolate is wrapped in an orange shinny tin foil paper with crinkled edges.  I open it to find a hand written note inside.   Reading the note, I recognize it as something I have written.  In that moment the universe opens up as my awareness expands.  I am fully aware of the dream and the magnitude of what it presents.  I am in a dream yet I am awake.  I experience synchronicity and deja-vu in the dream as in my waking life.  Knowing this is my opportunity to see my son’s face,  I take a good look wanting to know if he bears any resemblance to me.  I am surprised to find that he is the same person as the λλale Carrier from my previous dream where I asked him if he had any male for me.

 

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I then see a man dressed in a deep orange red suit.  He has stitching down his arm like an embroidery.  The stitching is being sown in real time.  My eyes follow the stitch down his arm.  The process of watching the stitch pulls my consciousness into a new dream where I am in a bathroom in a building.  I find myself standing in front of the sink.  Someone has left a freezer bag with crystals in it.  I believe them to be of some value and I would like to keep them but I feel I might get caught for stealing it.  I think it might be a trap.  I see a vent in the ceiling and have an idea to stuff the bag in the vent to hide it temporarily.  As I open the vent and attempt to reach in I can hear someone in the vent possibly watching my action.  I decide to take a risk and keep the bag with me.  The bag then becomes a wooden crystal bowl allowing me to hold it such that no one would recognize it as the bag of crystals.  Leaving the building I’m confronted with a man in an elevator pushing a stroller.  He pushes the stroller past me and exits the elevator.  I then exit the elevator too letting him know by my action that he needs to step into the elevator and take responsibility of the child. “This is your baby you brought him here.”  I’m thinking he needs to take care of his child.  I then go looking for another elevator closer to the room where I was previously.  I am looking for room 1736 and the bank of elevators that will take me to 1736.

When I woke up I grabbed my voice recorder and began recording the dream.  In a rush because I had over slept I was recording the dream and making my coffee and heating up my croissant all while recording the dream.  I knew all the noise would be on the recording but figured I’d still make out the important parts of the dream to journal.  Here is where the magic happens.

I remember having a ceramic singing bowl so I went looking for it but couldn’t find it.  The next best thing I could find was a Tibetan bowl which I grabbed thinking I could honor the dream by setting the bowl possibly with some water on my alter.  Sitting there having my coffee and breakfast I thought water just didn’t feel right.  I had to put something else in the bowl as an offering.   I then thought I’d grab a few seeds from last years harvest of flowers from my garden an place them in the bowl.  Remembering where I had stored my seeds I grabbed from the cupboard a freezer bag which contained other bags of various seeds.  Standing there looking at the bag I had an ah ha moment.  The bag looked just like the bag of crystals in my dream.  I then placed my marigold seeds in the bowl and sat back down wondering to myself whether that was a coincidence or the magic of the dream.  I then pushed the play button on my voice recorder to listen to the playback of my dream.  I then heard the playback of my dream regarding the man in the orange red suit when my violin caught my eye it was the same color that the man had worn.  I then had another ah ha moment looking at the strings of the violin which if played would run down my arm.  At that precise moment I could hear the noise of me in the kitchen mucking with the microwave closing the door and setting the time which the microwave plays a tone for every button you push it was as if my violin or the thought of my violin on my arm was playing a song.  Just more than an eerie coincidence.

When I sat to journal the dream I couldn’t really place where the dream took place.  I didn’t yet have a word for the biosphere reference.  When the word came to me with which to describe the dream it all made sense.  They were sowing seeds and planting a biosphere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jacobs Ladder

This is an old dream that i had maybe a year ago (2017).  It has been forever present with me.  It was more than just a dream or vision.  It felt very real that it has not moved from my consciousness.  I think about it all the time wanting to know more about it.  Since my recent dream where I discovered I can replay an old dream I thought I should write this one down.  A year ago I wasn’t journaling my dreams yet I still have them and the most powerful ones I do still remember.  This is one of them.

I wake up in the dream to find that I have been asleep for many many years. I have not aged but somehow it is now at least 25 years into the future.   I don’t know this until later in the dream.  I am witnessing the President of the United States who doesn’t say a whole lot throughout the dream but his presence is known.  It seems only some people are aware of me yet I am there among them.  The President has an entourage of people around him constantly.   I am observing all that is going on and I somehow I know the topics under discussion.  We are all sleeping in close quarters several assistants along with the Press Secretary are constantly attending to the Presidents needs.  The President is one of the one’s that is not aware of my presence or at least he has not acknowledged me directly.   In the future they’ve made drugs such that they are no longer harmful.  Even drugs that were once illegal now have versions that can be taken for pure pleasure with no harmful side affects.  They have eliminated the substance abuse problem.

The President needs a prescription and therefore his personal medic is called in to administer the drug.  A young man enters who is a member of the a naval academy.  He is studying to be a doctor and can already prescribe medicine.  He comes in and notices me but doesn’t say anything so I’m not sure he can actually see me or simply senses my presence.   As the conversation continues I get more and more signals that confirm he is aware of me.  It is as if I can hear his thoughts.  The sound of his voice is so beautiful to me.  His name is Jacob.  He is such a caring individual with a deep curiosity for life.  His desires are noble.  He tells me he wants to change the world from the inside out.  Although he is working for a Republican President he himself is not a Republican.  He has only claimed to be a Republican to effect change.  We seem to hit it off and begin playing on each other bantering back and forth.  The Press Secretary also is fully aware and loves the young man and respects his naivete.  His innocence is simply intoxicating.  He tells me he finds me very attractive.  Something else about life in this century is that sexual expression is more openly accepted as an exchange of energy.  It’s not uncommon for people to be intimate and rejoice in one another’s presense.  He again tells me he finds me very attractive.  I ask for clarification to which he tells me that I am exactly the type of person he has always dreamt about being with.  I ask him if he is gay to which he says that’s a thing of the past its more about being with the one you connect with and love.  Somehow he understands I’m not from this time period.  He then shows me how they are intimate with each other freely male and female without any hangups.  He then comes to me and begins to pleasure me.  The feeling of pleasure is overwhelming.  I tell him I don’t date guys in their 20’s.  He again emphasizes that he is in love with me as I AM EXACTLY what he has dreamt about.  With his touch I can feel exactly what he is referring to.  Knowing what he knows, I too now feel him and sense the connection.  I am falling in love with this young navy cadet.  He is paying me more attention than his responsibilities.  He tells me to wait for him.  While I wait he tells me to experience others as he has demonstrated.   The sense of pleasure is overwhelming.  I can hear a bit of scuttle between him and the President as he has neglected his duties in spending time with me.  He then assures me that he has everything under control.  I can still over hear the conversation but it sounds like he is loosing his patience with the President.  I tell him I don’t want him to risk his career.  He then asks me if I would love him regardless meaning if he didn’t have a career would I still love him to which I say of course. I now realize I’ve always wanted someone like him.  I tell him to fulfill his duties and come home to sleep with me and cuddle with me.  He is welcome to sleep with me anytime.  I’m starting to get tired as sleep falls upon me.  He is now in my bed cuddled with me late at night.  I can feel his body pressed against my body.  We dream of a time when we can be together forever.

When I woke up in the morning the presence of him was gone.  I felt like I had allowed myself to fall asleep and allowed him to slip away.  In my desire to recapture that moment I heard a voice say “You are him. You are the connection you seek.”

And Jacob went out from Beer-sheba, and went toward Haran. And he lighted upon the place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took one of the stones of the place, and put it under his head, and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven; and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it. And, behold, the LORD stood beside him, and said: ‘I am the LORD, the God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac. The land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed. And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south. And in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed. And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee whithersoever thou goest, and will bring thee back into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.’ And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said: ‘Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not.’ And he was afraid, and said: ‘How full of awe is this place! this is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.’

— Genesis 28:10-17 Jewish Publication Society (1917)