A School Of Fish To Love

September 13, 2018

In last nights dream I am with my 2nd partner Michael who is visiting me or passing through my space.  Its like he really doesn’t belong here and is somewhat intruding on my time.  One observation about him is that he is very very cute but that is apparently not enough to keep my interest or focus.  I try to visit with him on the side almost as if I’m multitasking not really having time to be with him.  A third person enters and says there are issues with the plumbing in my unit.  I’m told they have had to call the plumber to make repairs 3 times.  All three times were as a result of something Michael did.   Having discovered that Michael is “my guest” I am therefore responsible for the repairs and they can’t charge my maintenance contract because the damages were caused by someone other than me.

I don’t have time to focus on these issues because I have to attend a class with a guy who I am interested in.  Because I’m trying to do two things at once my party for the class becomes scattered and we therefor don’t end up sitting together.  I am disappointed because I want to sit with the cute guy who I’m interested in.  Now sitting alone I look at the class syllabus.  I can clearly see the writing on the pages of the syllabus.  I am trying to decide whether to  sit through the class or just get up now and leave.  It doesn’t seem like something I’d be interested in normally but I want to be a part of this group and the chance at meeting and developing a relationship with this guy.

I decide to remain in the class.  Once it starts we are told everyone has to wear blue and grey.  I feel wholly unprepared believing I am not following the dress code.  The cute guy comes over to me and he is obviously wearing blue and grey.  I look at myself and to my surprise I just happen to be wearing silk blue lapels, on a grey suit jacket and blue pants.  My tie is metalic grey.  The cute guy tells my “….but you’re tie isn’t grey” to which I answer yes it is.  I want to convince him of this fact because I want to remain in the class especially now that I have his attention.  I look at my tie a second time and realize the tie changes colors depending on the viewing angle.  From one angle it is grey/blue and from the other it is silver/gold.

The class progresses and at the end we all get ready to leave.  As I stand there saying good bye I realize we are all in water and there are fish swimming around me.  The fish are the fish from my aquarium in real life.  I recently had all my fish except 2 die from a disease in the tank.  I can see the last fish which was my favorite and the largest one swim past me.  It comes to rest in the guys hand.  I tell him to please not hurt the fish.

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Rebuilding Love Lost Hospital

September 5, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself standing outside an old abandoned building.  There is a man who stands with me.  He is the lone survivor and now is working to restore the building.  He tells me the story of the building.  He says it was a hospital at one time where many people were healed.  I can tell the building suffered a fire.   I ask him what happened to the patients in the building at the time of the fire.  He tells me the fire killed everyone except him.  I ask him if the building is now haunted.  He says it definitely is haunted.  The spirits of the dead still live here.  I ask is he is not afraid to work here to which he answers NO someone has to do the work.  I offer to help him.  I am with my dog Butters.  He then gives me a tour of the building to see what people were doing right before the fire.  I can see a couple making out in their car in the parking lot. There is a little boy who comes toward me and starts walking at my side.  I assume he wants to come along for the tour.  I place my palm on his head to let him know he is welcome on the tour.  I notice the moment my palm touches his hair on his head a wave of energy flows through me.  This energy lifts us both up off our feet.   I immediately have the ability of flight.  We float together to the higher floors of the hospital.

I am now lucid.  Knowing I have powers in the dream, I take a good look around me, at my surroundings to try to understand the mechanics of the dream and the correlation between the dream and my waking life.  I can see the fabric of the the dream vibrating with rainbow colors in which the dream constructs the scenes.  I think to myself this must be my aura or spirit as it’s light extends beyond my dream body.  I look around for Butters and discover he is now a young man.  I think his child name might need to be changed to reflect his new manhood.

Four Dreads

www.manbunhairstyle.net

August 26, 2018

I had a dream where I am with a group of guys.  They are all partnered.  Each one has his partner with him.  I consider my own circumstances and know I don’t have a partner.  Feeling alone I look around me and notice a guy standing behind me.  How long has he been there.  It feel like he has been in my blind spot for a long time.  He is obviously my partner because he likes me and is paired with me.  Why haven’t i noticed him before?  I turn to look at him to see if I can answer the question.  I look carefully at him.  He is able to change his appearance easily.  His appearance changes and now he is wearing dreads.  His hair seems to float in space.  He turns his head back and forth gently to move fling his hair at me.  It seem to move in slow motion.  I tell him his dreads look like shoe laces.

I sense it is time for me to leave.  I don’t want anyone to know I’ve been here.  So I decide to fly out of the space instead of walking through any doors.  I begin to fly but instead of flying over the horizon I am flying straight up.

~~~~~ Dream Ends

I found it very curious that the guy changed his hairstyle while I was looking at him and why of all hairstyles he chose to fashion dreads and why he intentionally floated his dreads at me.  I have no attraction to dreads, I have nothing against them but I’m not called toward them.  I do however like unkempt messy hair which dreads might fall into that category.

As a word dreads is one letter off from dreams so I looked at the neurological values and both D and M share the same value of 4. The word dreams or dreads has a value of 6.

FOUR

The Ruler  –  Saturn

4 is the number of Foundation  –  the four winds, the four seasons, the four astrological elements.

4’s are solid, ‘four-square’ reliable, practical, plodding, home-loving, succeed through diligence and perseverance.

4 DESTINY / LIFE PATH

Positive Characteristics:

Number 4s are hard-working, loyal and ambitious and have a great deal of common sense and a practical approach to life. Number 4 Destiny/Life Path people are careful and unlikely to make a decision without giving the matter a great deal of thought. Once number 4s have reached a decision they will be determined on their decided course of action and will follow through.

Other people depend upon number 4’s ability to cope with life’s ups and downs and are drawn to the stability of number 4 Destiny people as they are reliable friends and do not change their opinions easily.

Number 4 Destiny people are able to manifest on all levels and are willing and able to put preparation, proper thought, passion and purpose into all that they do in order to achieve their goals and aspirations.

Number 4’s often end up becoming the pillars of the community as these individuals are hard working, practical and trustworthy. The 4 Destiny person is practical, loyal, security-conscious and business-minded.

You have the potential for great success if you overcome your insecurities  –  that is your challenge.

With Honor

August 20, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am preparing to be married.  There are a number of people around my bed.  I am told I can see my soon to be partner who is a woman.  She stands at the foot of my bed.  They convince me this is my destiny and I am guaranteed protection.  Surprisingly I’m convinced.   I ask how I am to identify my “wife” in the future?  See they are all etheric beings and therefore transparent to me so I’m afraid my “wife” would be hidden from me so I ask If I can place a tattoo on her neck. 

Something jars me awake.  Where’s my protection, I think to myself?  For about 2 seconds as I opened my eyes to find beside my bed was standing a female honor guard.  Her hair is burgundy in color.  She stands at attention guarding over my sleep.

A Hat is a Hat of Course

August 4th, 2018

I had a dream where I return to a resort where I’ve stayed before.  A part of me believes I should have a my room reserved at this location.  I find my room close to the pool and walk in.  The room has changed.  They have made it more agreeable and amenable for more people to stay with me.  There are two rooms with beds in them and one room even has bunk beds.  It looks more generic than personalized but I do like the layout.  Considering this is a vacation space I think the layout works nicely.  I look for the bathroom and notice the door is closed.  I can hear someone inside using it.

Knowing I have to go to the bathroom I remember there being a restroom on the other end of the resort.  I recall something new about the resort.  I recall the entire resort being available for my needs.  I recall not only additional restrooms available but additional sleeping areas.  The choice is mine to make.  I walk out the door toward the pool on route to the other restroom.  There are people in the pool.  One woman is completely naked.  She walks on water.   She is walking toward another woman who is in the pool leaning against the pools inner wall.  Although she is a woman she has both male and female attributes.  The woman who walks on water, walks on the surface of the water toward the other woman. Before arriving in front of her she goes under the water and fondles the other woman’s private masculine parts.  I’m surprised at their open display of affection.  I wish I had time to be as free to enjoy that type of intimacy but I have to find a restroom.

I finally couldn’t wait any longer and woke up to go to the real world bathroom.  I did my business and returned to bed.  I quickly returned to the dream.

I am now entering the other bathroom where a man stands.  He is an Amish  man with a full beard with a soft breathable cotton shirt, leather suspenders and a relaxed look.  He wears a suede leather Amish style hat.  He sees me enter the restroom and salutes me by taking off his hat.  Except under the hat he has another hat.  He then proceeds to take the second hat off only to discover under that hat he has yet another hat.  This continues for about 5 hats.  The last hat on his head is small with a 5 inch brim and is tied under his neck.  Atop the crown of the hat are two small Moose with full antlers.  It feels like a magic trick as the outcome is completely unexpected.  Like a child amused with laughter we both laugh with full bellied joy.  It becomes apparent he is doing this to amuse me.  His interest in pleasing me touches my heart and soul.

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Love

My second partner Michael who held 10 yrs of my life.

August 3, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am in a line of people not quite sure what we are waiting for.  I am with my mother who is old and in a wheel chair.  I am protecting her.  Along the path where we walk are cutouts small rooms with 3 walls.  Occasionally people pause while they wait in line to reflect on what each room holds.  While standing in line your vision is restricted to the cutout room directly in front of you.  I am standing in front of my mom.  It is has been my belief we are at the end of the line whoever I become aware of a man who has been standing behind my mom.  I have missed noticing him because he has been engaged in each of the rooms as the line has moved.  I on the other hand have been waiting in line with my mom not entering the cutouts.  To satisfy my curiosity who might be standing behind my mom I walk behind her now in a position to see into the cutout where the man stands.  I discover the man in the room is Michael.  My second partner.  He looks amazingly beautiful.  All the reasons I fell in love with him come rushing back.  His hair glistens in the light of the sun and his beard seems to reflect the rays of the sun.  Yet even with all this love for him I feel I need to scold him for his actions.  I somehow feel he might have done some wrong against my mother.  I want him to know I stand to protect my mom.  I also feel he has hurt me.  A part of me if mad over the pain he has created in my life.

As I stand there in discussion with him, I begin to become aware of the dream.  Knowing I’m in a dream now I look at “Michael” and wonder what else might he be here to represent.  With my mind focused on OB and feeling the love deep within me.  I can feel it radiating out warmly by the sun reflecting off his golden hair.

My alarm rings and I wake up to snooze it.  I quickly close my eyes trying desperately to return to the dream.  My inner eye now sees cartoon characters.  These are very similar to yesterday’s except these appear to be presented for a mature audience.  The characters are dressed in cartoon suits, some I notice look like formal wear.  They seem to be gathering for a celebration.  I see their cartoon hair is black and well presented with clear delineation and  distinction.  They appear to be happy and proud.  My alarm rings a second time.

~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

As I was journalling my dream and describing the cutout rooms I had a very strong feeling that each room represented a day in my life.  I seem to be stuck not engaging fully in each day because I am attached to the idea that I must care for my mother.  My mother in her wheel chair seemed unable to enjoy each day either.  I was unaware of Michael’s nearby presence because he was in engaged in life.  There is also the idea that I’m stuck in the past possibly morning the past.  I can’t see love in today.

Love of Corn

July 26, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I want to plan dinner out for my partner and our mothers.  The purpose of the dinner is to allow our mom’s to meet each other.  I have to be discrete about the invite because I don’t want others present to feel excluded by the invite.  Interestingly enough the dream doesn’t provide me with who my partner is.  I simply know the person of interest is my partner.  The mom’s meeting seems to be needed to seal the relationship.

During our dinner my partners mom gives me three corn plants.  I love fresh corn.  She tells me she knows how much I love the taste of corn and says I will be able to harvest my own from my garden.  The plants are about a foot tall.  I think about where in my garden I will plant the stalks where they will receive the greatest amount of sunlight possible to grow.

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I looked up the symbolism of corn

Corn: Used in many Native American rituals, maize is a symbol of life, abundance, prosperity, growth and fertility.

 

Snug As A Bug

July 25, 2018

Last night i had a dream that was troubling to me.  The concern is am I getting in over my head.  I am looking for an apartment to rent because I want to be close to people.  I sign a lease on a corner unit in a high rise apartment building.  I have only looked through the unit briefly.  As I do a walk through I’m trying to figure out what parts of the unit are actually allocated to me.  The color palate is mostly white with shades of beige.  I can feel the texture of the rug and fabric of the drapes.  I am concerned that I already have responsibility of a house and what I might have gotten into.  Why have I committed to additional responsibility?  I wonder if I can possibly continue to rent out my house on Airbnb and live for a while in the apartment to experience what it is like to live in an apartment setting and closer to my neighbors.  I can continue to monitor the needs of my house and not have to sell it.  I ask the owner of the apartment if it is OK if I bring my piano with me.  I tell him it has a low profile and should be easy to bring into the unit.  He agrees and says its OK.  I walk through the different rooms noticing the texture of the carpet and the emptiness within the different rooms and passage ways.  I walk into the bedroom and see two people sleeping covered head to toe under their sheets.  They have a throw cover over them that has a plush light brown texture which reminds me of Alpaca.  I figure I must have wondered into someone else’s bedroom or maybe the current tenant hasn’t fully moved out yet.  Is this my bed?  Should I be in bed with them?  I quickly rush to depart the unit not wanting to disturb their sleep.  I want to maintain their privacy.  As I leave, I take a minute to look out the windows and notice the pool down below.   I think I will like living here.

Vignette of a Daddy

The humanistically oriented has an aesthetic-artistic profile

July 18, 2018

DREAM 1:  I had a dream where I am rearranging my website to show images of my daddy poses.  My objective is to show what daddies look like.  There are three images of me as a daddy I choose to settle on for the website.

DREAM 2:  I had another dream where I invite friends to celebrate.  My wallet is full of money.  I take a bite of my wallet as if it was a sandwich.  I worry I can’t exchange the money I’ve chewed.  I close my wallet and pause to think what to do about the money I’ve chewed up.  I open my wallet a second time and discover the wallet is as if I had not bitten into it.  My wallet has recovered and has more money in it than before so much so that the money is falling out.   It is stuffed so thick it is busting at the seams.  Someone beside me tries to grab at my wallet and succeeds at taking money from me.  Angered by this,  I attack him pointedly targeting the return of my dollars.  I am successful at recovering my money.  Emboldened by this I go in for another grab at his money.  I am successful at getting his money in addition to my money.   I recognize I am in a dream and wonder if he is playing with me or testing my reaction in the dream.  How assertive am I with the things I want in life?

DREAM 3:  I then had another dream.  I am in a castle.  I contemplate how I might remodel it desiring to change the windows on the first floor.  There is a white bottle of of lotion sitting on the counter with black lettering along with a symbol that looks like a large K.  I am aware of a young man who is in the castle with me.  He has approached to be a potential boyfriend.  I know for him to be the one he must be able to read and understand the meaning of the symbol and writing on the bottle of lotion.  If he is able to understand then he is the one if he can’t then he is not.

Look At Me Bobby

June 6th, 2018

I had a dream where my mom has a museum where she displays artifacts from history.  The artifacts have religious or spiritual connotations.  Things like tuning bowls, instruments, mandalas etc.  My mom lives in the house behind the museum.  Someone comes into the museum looking for her wanting to borrow my bike. The person is a cousin possibly Victor.  I’m thinking I hope my mom hasn’t started lending out my things to people because these things are things I cherish and have great value and memories tied to them.  I don’t seem to remember how to get to her house.  He tells me they need access to the water lines.  As he is leaving, I tell him,  I am the son of Otilia.  I then discretely follow behind him knowing if I follow him he will lead me to where my mom is or lives.  I may learn more about my mom.  Behind the house is a natural body of water which is very deep.  The water glows orange and yellow in the light of the sun.  He now has lion hair and a furr coat on.  He now reminds me of my cousin Jeannette.  She dives in to retrieve what they need to access the water main.  When she comes out at the other end I tell her she didn’t have to jump in the water with her coat on.  She then takes the coat off to dry it and now she is a man with a beautiful hairy chest.  I think to myself, why would you cover that up his beautiful furry chest with a furr coat?  He rushes off to get his firetruck.  I am looking in the direction where he went waiting to see him return when from behind a truck and trailer approach.  The truck has no sides or top.  I ask him if it is legal to drive around like that.  He gets off the truck and tells me this is his firetruck.

Scenes flash before me like short 3 second movie clips.  Messages from these people come rushing in.  In one clip, I see my son when he is young.  I stop the clip because after all its my dream and I want to see my son.  The dream pauses for just a moment long enough for me to get a good look.

(Click on above image it’s a 3 second clip)

In the time span of a breath I take in his image.  Feeling complete I exhale allowing the dream to continue.  I then see a man who looks at me.  I am still coming off the intense high of seeing my son so I am not paying much attention to anything else.  I feel like I have what I came for.  Again he makes a facial gesture indicating he too has a message for me.  I am still unable to focus.  He looks directly into my eyes and says,  “Look at me.”  I pause long enough for me to get a good look at this man.  The dream ends here as his image slowly fades from my mind.  Who is this man?

~~~~ DREAM ENDS HERE

I then woke up and recorded the details of the dream.  After my coffee I wanted to know who this man was.  Why was it so important for me to look into his eyes.  I said a prayer and walked into my library glancing slowly at the pictures on the shelves.  I wanted to find a picture with someone I can look into their eyes.  I then came to my Grandmothers photograph.  I stared at my Grandma for a few minutes and felt complete.

I then went upstairs to start my day.  The man’s face a man I’ve never seen before yet clear as day in my mind’s eye sat there not wanting to leave me.  I turned on the TV to watch MSNBC.  The news was having a segment honoring Robert F Kennedy.  It was a long segment on his life.  I am slightly annoyed because I want the regular news.  What is going on with Bobby Kennedy today that they are taking so much time recounting his life.  They then turned to a picture of him and OMG it was his face in my dream.  It was his face exactly.

I then went online to look for pictures of him to possibly look into his eyes.  Come to find out today it is the 50th anniversary of his death.  He died 50 years ago at Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles.

My grandmother Simona Camargo also died at Good Samaritan Hospital when I was in the 8th grade probably 1978.  This is the picture I have of my Grandmother in my library.  I worked at Good Samaritan as a candy stripper the summer she died.  My aunt Helen also worked there as a nurse.  I thought it unusual when I came to her picture how perfect it felt to looking into her eyes.  I felt it must have been her.  I thought maybe my grandma came to me as a man in my dream but why would she do that?  Apparently there was so much more to be told.  What is the coincidence that today would be the anniversary of Bobby’s death.  Curious too the image I found online of bobby near the body of water is a 3 second clip much like the clips presented to me in the dream.  Had he possibly been swimming there in that picture?  And apparently he has a hairy chest.  So many coincidences.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was OB I saw before this man showed his face.  Was it then OB all along showing me his firetruck?  I like the picture of Bobby and the little girl.  I imaging myself someday with OB.  I wonder is that was his daughter.  I don’t know much about Bobby Kennedy.  Was OB my Grandma and Bobby all in heaven conspiring to send me messages.  I think so. I am a blessed man to have a direct connection to the higher realms.

May you rest in Peace Bobby.  And to my Grandma I remember you like it was yesterday.  I will never forget you.  Le tengo mucho amor abuelita.