Last night’s dream was a bit unusual in that I dreamt about my ex-partner Joe who I pretty much hate for the way he has treated me following our break up. What was unusual was that I still had feelings for him in the dream. The dream goes like this:
I am at a marina where many boats are docked. Each boat is a business. Joe works at Levitt & Quinn with offices on one of the yachts. When I see him I am very happy. He stirs fond memories from the time I worked at the law firm. It was my first job right out of high school. I worked as a typist preparing divorce papers for low income families. (Joe never worked there except in my dream.) The memory hits a sweet spot knowing he has managed to work there for most of his life and is the only job he has ever held.
A memory comes to me that Joe and I are no longer together yet I happen to be in his quarters. I look around to see how he has been living all this time. His furnishings are simple and very much like Joe. I can see he is doing some construction on his unit. The workers are building a cabinet. I decide to offer him a suggestion on how to make the best use out of it by changing the materials a bit. The cabinet is where they place things like the life vests. Joe is already at work on a distinct ship. Needing to get a message to him with my recommendation I decide to use his iPad to communicate with him. I write on the iPad a note which he will be able to see where he is at telling him to use a higher grade of wood on the lid such that it will be better secured. Doing so will allow him to use the lid to set heavy objects on if necessary when entertaining guests. I am happy because he will know I am in his quarters and I am not angry at him. Its a feel good moment for me to be able to help without any resentment toward him. He thanks me for the suggestion and instructs his crew to follow my recommendation. They will need to purchase the additional materials needed.
I decide to leave but first I head toward the law office of Levitt & Quinn to say hello to everyone. Once on the ship I can feel the ship moving. It is leaving the dock to set sail. With quick action I know I cannot remain on this ship. I disembark by jumping across to another ship.
In last night’s dream, I am traveling with a small group of people but specifically with one person a guy who I am interested in romantically. It is as if we had gone on this adventure together and accompanied by a small group of people but him and I are together as a unit. Once at our destination it is nearing the time for us to return home. It is as if everyone has an inner calling on when to return home. Once the call comes in it really doesn’t matter who you went with you have to answer the call yourself and find your way back home. Once the call comes in everyone in your group hears a small summary of how far you traveled in your journey. The information is of a personal nature yet everyone is allowed to hear it as a public announcement. When I hear my partners call I find out a little more about him. It turns out he has a very high clearance with the government and is some kind of Central Intelligence Chief. He has achieved the highest or among the highest standing possible. I ruminate over his success and imagine what it would be like to have that type of high paying job. I’m a bit envious but happy that I am with him since we would both benefit from his good fortune. I am also happy we both share the same interest and type of job experience within cyber security.
In the call also reveals the return path we’ve selected for ourselves. We are currently in Baltimore and needing to return to Washington, DC. I have chosen to ride the train back. He has also chosen to ride the train back but in a very unconventional way. For some reason, he has inside information about a delay on the track that will allow him to purchase a later train and arrive in D.C. at the same time I do. This allows him to enjoy Baltimore a bit longer before having to return. For me, the effect is I too am able to enjoy my time with friends a bit longer and since we are still on the same track we can still in essence be connected with each other.
I then see a fellow group member who flies by telling us how the delay is impacting him. He tells us how happy he is that he was able to meet someone earlier in the day and got “Lucky” and now with the delay is going to be able to prolong his happiness. He winks at us indicating he just might get “Lucky” a second time. Our distinct paths home now seem to create a triangle.
Now with some assurance I won’t be missing my return path I decide to try to fly. My body flies high like a kite in the wind flying flying flying but not changing position. The feeling is exhilarating.
I wasn’t happy with last night’s dream so I wasn’t sure if I was going to journal it but I decided to do it anyway. In the dream, I am with my ex Joe down in Miami. We are going through the normal challenges of life. Days pass and we seem to get out of touch with each other until one day I realize I haven’t showered with him in a very long time. I have a longing within me for intimacy but I seem to simply be moving through life from one place to another unable to pause for a moment to enjoy it with anyone. The pain of loneliness strikes me today in a way that it hasn’t before so I pause to see if Joe has taken a shower already. When he passes by me, I can see his hair is combed and styled nicely and still looks wet. There is another guy “a friend” in our house who has been visiting for a long time. I notice he too has his hair nicely styled and looking wet. I ask Joe if they showered together, to which he replies, “Yes.”
I am angry at him for cheating on me and angry at myself for not having asked for what I want. I grab Joe by the neck and tell him this does not work for me. I tell him it is over. Our friend who is now presumably his boyfriend is now angry at me claiming stake to our home. He has installed microwave lights in the ceiling with the intent on slowly causing me to have cancer and die. I am clued in on his plot to destroy my life. They are simply waiting for the effects of the radiation to kill me so they can live out their lives.
There is not much I can do but I remember … there is one thing; I can pray. I open my palms up toward the radiant light coming from the ceiling and pray that it pass through me and reflect back justice on those who might want to cause harm to me. I believe justice with prevail. I remain standing unaffected by the cancer causing light. Joe and our friend are forced to leave and I remain in the house alone.
~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
As in the dream sometime I feel cheated in life because I don’t have a relationship and I find myself alone. It also occurred to me that I can’t simply pray for justice i have to pray for the things that matter to me. I have to ask for what I want.
I know I say this all the time but last’s night’s dream was very cool. I am in a stadium. Apparently I live here. I am trying to decide where to put my office to make room for the baby. The stadium is so expansive I want the layout to make sense. It is recommended to me that I set my office on the stage as then it would be sectioned off for this specific purpose. I believe it to be a good idea. I am waiting for people to arrive. It seems the business we conduct is growing and we therefore can benefit from the added space the stadium provides. We still have use of some old freight containers where we used to conduct our business. These containers can be put to other use. There is a guy here dressed like a flamboyant gypsy. He is very handsome. I can see his pants ballooning as he walks. He seems to be the one providing interior design ideas. He shows me how he has repurposed the shipping containers. As I walk through to look at the new layout a man catches me eye. We look at each other. There is an immediate intense attraction but I am somewhat distracted by the gypsy and his show and tell.
An opportunity arises for me to visit privately with the man as the gypsy walks off ahead of us. The man comes over and I immediately offer him a hug. As he goes to hug me his shirt opens up revealing his chest. His chest has many beads with an emblem in the center of his heart. The beads seem to be something I identify with. I am so happy to see him. I pull him in close to me. As I reach around to his back with my bear hug my hands feel beeds that hang on his back also. The beeds offer me an ever greater assurance he is the one I’ve been searching for.
The warmth from our bodies creates ashes that float away in the wind. When I first notice the ashes they look like bats because the seem to be flying in the air but as I look at them more closely I realize they are not bats but the ashes from the sage I have been burning in my offerings. The ashes are going everywhere. I worry they will be upset with me for the mess I am making with the ashes. I want to continue hugging the man but the hugs are creating more ashes. I hug him for just a little bit longer giving him one lasting hug. I look again at the ashes to see what I might need to do to clean up but now I notice the ashes are turning into babies. Hundreds of babies. Each ash flake developing into a baby. Oh no, what I am going to do with so many children.
~~~~ DREAM ENDS
I found this image on the internet. I was thinking where can I possibly find an image of a man with a ton of beeds on his chest. This one seems so perfect as it has the man wearing an emblem on his chest. I assume the beeds probably hang down on his back. He holds the same look the guy did in my dream. A look of wanting or yearning. A look that calls you close.
I like that much like the ashes relate to a ritual, the indigenous man probably also has rituals he engages in.
Last night’s dream was very cool. I was watching Harry Potter before going to bed and I wondered if there was a train platform numbered 9 3/4 in my dream where magick happens and if my dreams have a school of Hogwarts for teaching magick. I fell asleep with the thought.
In the dream, I find myself at work. I am friendly with the guy who is the parking attendant for my building. His company owns several businesses including several parking lots. Since his workers don’t make a lot of money, he offers them investment tips. On this day, I over hear him giving out some tips in the way of business news. I then go about my business.
At work one of my coworkers is Marcus who is a very heavy set black guy who reminds me of the Marcus from MKP. He is also gay as is Marcus from MKP. In talking to Marcus, I notice his beautiful qualities and his inner potential. Even though he is over weight, I help him see a bright future for himself. In talking to him, something he tells me rings true with the conversation I overheard early regarding the business news. Today’s news I believe Marcus can apply directly to his life. Marcus is very excited and begins believing in himself. He is loosing weight and is wearing a beautiful blue dress. His hair is long and his makeup is done up nicely. He likes dressing to accentuate his feminine side.
The next morning, I tell Marcus to meet me at the parking lot where I can introduce him to the parking lot attendant. We are waiting just outside the parking booth for the attendant to arrive with today’s business news. After he offers the news to his employees, I get his attention and introduce Marcus. I stutter in explaining how he can possibly help Marcus. My inner dialog doesn’t want to seem as if I am asking for his help under an Affirmative Action because he is black. I want him to know I believe in Marcus and I think he can benefit greatly from his assistance. As if to read my mind, the parking attendant tells me not to worry, he will help Marcus as I’ve indicated. Excited with his approval I look at Marcus who now looks stunning. I pause for a moment to see how Marcus has changed. I think to myself, “I could really love someone as beautiful as Marcus.”
We walk together back to our office. Marcus is very excited on his new prospects for the future. I am happy to have been able to help him in this way. A truck is driving out of the parking lot and down a road where there is construction. He drives over a pot hole. I yell don’t do it you won’t survive the fall. His car splits in two and is swallowed up by the river that runs along side the road. I tell Marcus he will have to pluck his car out of the river now. Marcus and I continue walking. As we walk, Marcus comes up with a way to apply this new knowledge to help the man recover his truck. He is eager to help someone. He comes up with a way to create a sonic boom. The boom will fragment the Universe shattering it to pieces just enough for the man to recover his truck from the river. The shattering of the Universe allows us to easily rearrange the pieces of the truck.
The idea works as the boom sounds. The Universe now looks like a mosaic. Through the cracks a worm hole appears and a beautiful lavender light comes rushing in. I see and understand how magick happens. I realize it is Marcus who helps me.
In this dream, I am at a party and I meet a guy who I believe on some level is Travis but in the dream I don’t know him to be Travis. I would say he feels like Travis. After spending time with him, I feel he is someone I would want to date. The Party Coordinator walks over to me to show me the Party Log of Events which has in it all possibilities. The Log is a Wheel that looks like a Kaleidoscope made of many tiny crystals each reflecting a distinct possibility. In it I see where the Party Coordinator also met this same guy Travis and also had feelings for him. Knowing we both like him to the same degree, I tell him he can have him since I have a baby. Wanting to see the baby but not recalling where the baby is in the dream, I take a moment to reflect where I might have left him. The baby sleeps off to my left in a blue bassinet. I stroke the baby’s face lightly so as to not startle it. The baby opens one eye followed by the other. Without words he communicates to me, “You forgot to change my diaper.” I look down at his puffy blue diaper and stick my finger in it to check. It is neither wet nor soiled. The baby then chuckles.
With his chuckle, I sense this is a dream.
As I awoke from the dream, I still held in my minds eye the Kaleidoscope shining so brightly it looked at times like the sun. It’s edges glowed a fiery of red.
This is a difficult dream to journal. In the dream I have been interested in a guy for a long time. I follow him around without him knowing I am interested in him. I do this for many days, weeks and years. One day he finds out I am interested in him but by this time I have already met Travis in my waking life. Here is where it gets a bit confusing because several timelines are happening at the same time. For what feels like an eternity I have been interested in him but have never shown or expressed my interest to him. I remember hugging him from behind on many occasions in a friendly loving way. On this given day he walks by me and pauses. Someone else possibly a friend of his grabs him from behind the way I have always grabbed him from behind to hug him. He looks at me and I look at him. I say to myself, “This is how I hug him”. I wish he had known all this time how much I love him. He looks at me as if reading my mind.
There is another parallel scene where I walk behind him wishing he had known how much I love him. I think to myself if he was to turn around right now …… he turns around and looks at me and with his look he acknowledges he really does love me the way I love him.
Now going back to the first scene as he is being hugged from behind he turns to me and says I should meet him near the bathroom. But now I have to tell him I found someone I like and am no longer available. So I head toward the bathroom. I never really end up at the bathroom instead I seem to find him everywhere I go. No matter where I go, he is there. I am confused because it feels like he is Travis except I’m not expecting Travis to be in my dream.
Last night I had a heart to heart talk with God. I have been frustrated with being single and unable to find anyone who feels right. I am frustrated seeing Facebook profiles with guys and their partners and wondered why I can’t have a partner. Even unattractive people seem to have found partners. I consider myself a good person with a big heart and a lot of love to give. I felt God is wasting my time years of my life I could be loving someone.
So I got gut honest with him and told him in no short terms to CUT THE BULLSHIT something is wrong with your programming. Fix it. I’m tired of waiting.
So I had a dream and in the dream a woman who is in a high position of authority tells me they are going to conduct a full audit of my record. I am scared the announcement seems so serious. The records they will be auditing are of the highest importance. I assume it is my karmic record the sum balance of my life.
I turn to leave and glance out the window where I see two tiger stripped eagles grooming and playing with each other. Momentarily distracted by the eagles I think to myself. “The eagle has a partner.”
~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
Upon waking up I recorded my dream and proceeded to have my morning coffee. I swiped through one of my online dating apps and the first profile I came to was one of a guy who I am very much attracted to. I messaged him and thought this never works. Later in the day he actually messaged back. We proceeded to correspond and something clicked. A click I’ve not experienced in a long time. We seemed to hit it off. Was this an answer to my prayer. Well I sit here journaling this a week later and in that week we have talked and FaceTimed. I think there is something there. I have a very good feeling about this person. I think the Eagle might very well have a partner.
In last night’s dream I find myself returning to my living quarters. I am in a hurry. I seem to be on auto-pilot. I am walking down a long corridor with a lot of doors. I turn into the door which corresponds to my room. I know exactly where I am going.
Once in the room, I notice someone has brought a wooden head board into my space along with a small twin bed. The head board is not yet attached to the bed. This is something I am expecting to occur but I didn’t think they were delivering it before I got here so the room isn’t arranged to my liking or maybe I am just offended someone made the changes made during my absence without my input. After studying the layout it seems my bed has been moved to one side to make room for the twin bed. I image the head board being placed in its appropriate place and with a little tidying up the room should be acceptable again.
Somewhat lucid now it occurs to me I don’t know who the twin bed is for. Who is sleeping in the twin bed? With that thought I seem to remember David from yesterday’s dream. Is he sleeping in my bed? I have a warm feeling come over me as if the dream has given me some small indication that I won’t be alone anymore. Are these new sleeping arrangements waiting for me? Are changes coming to my life?
In last night’s dream I am part of a group of people. I am with a partner she seems to be androgynous of both male and female sex. At times I refer to her in the feminine and at other times she appears to me in the masculine. We are getting married or are engaged. Her life seems easy to me. She happens to be at the right place at the right time. In one instance she invests in a start up and makes a huge amount of money. I want to bring something to the relationship that is special and of my own doing. I wonder if there are interesting start up that I can invest in that would bring similar returns. I decide to buy some stock. The stock certificates are guaranteed to have a gain. This certificate is multi faceted. It is a marriage certificate, a birth certificate and a stock certificate all at the same time. I place the certificate on a sheet of cake upon which the marriage cake will be placed. I plan on revealing the certificate when the cake is cut.
My jealousy is showing a bit toward her easy gains. I want the time to come soon for me to reveal my surprise but so many other things have to be done in preparation before we can have our celebration and reveal. I seem to have a deja-vue within the dream and recall having been here before. I seem to know the events which will play out. I try to recall where I’ve come to know the truth. I recall a movie like Titanic and realize my life is playing out just like in the movie. I seem to know the ending. I remember from the movie that the couple have a fight and the cake is thrown in the ocean. Along with the cake so too are lost the certificates. In the end they live together happily but without knowledge of what was lost. I feel I have to do something to change the course of events and maybe I can recover the cake and certificates so we can have a much better life together. I go to her to discuss what she is going to wear for the wedding. She shows me a black leather harness. In my mind, I think oh no how could you wear a leather harness to your wedding. Without me even saying anything she replies, “It’s in the way you wear it.” She who is now in the masculine form twists the suspenders so as to make a new use for the harness. She then proceeds to create bearded tassels which look very similar to my beard in color and form. She / He gives the impression it will keep us together. I look at him and think how beautiful he is even though I’m not fond of the leather harness. In the back of my mind I still want to find a way to safeguard the certificates so they aren’t lost to sea or does happiness lie not in material wealth.