Love: When Rules Don’t Matter

April 1, 2019

In last night’s dream, I am with my ex Joe. We are in business together. The office building is temporarily under construction and they have asked all leaseholders to vacate the building. No one is allowed in the building. However, there are some who are still using the building even though their actions are prohibited. They do it discretely. I am following their lead. I hide in the elevator so as to evade detection. The elevator is glass enclosed so I am sitting on the floor low enough to not be visible. A red light shines into the elevator. I am afraid they have found me. I remain low allowing the light to pass just above my head. I am able to evade detection.

The next day we are told the building may be reoccupied the following day. At 11 pm the night before we decide to go ahead and occupy the building again. This time we are flagrant about out disregard for rules. We get away with it because it is close enough to the re-opening of the building.

On a side bar there are a few encounters with my ex in the dream where I am so happy to be with him again and to be doing things along side him to have a mutual purpose that I am willing to push the rules aside. Bending the rules seems very contrary to who I am yet for the opportunity to be with him, I do it.

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Fisher of an Asian Man

March 23, 2019

In last nights dream, I am away from home at my work site. I see many trucks and construction men around me. They are breaking ground to build a new work site. I become aware of a fissure in the foundation which threatens to divide the site. I somehow know this fissure to be in my house also as it’s effects are felt by the entire neighborhood. I decide to leave the job site and travel back home to secure my belongings. My house is just a few blocks away and adjacent to the job site. There is havoc as people scurry to evacuate the area. The rush of people is causing delays in getting home. A truck driver offers me a ride. Assuming this to be the speediest route home, I accept.

Once in the truck, it becomes apparent he would need to travel the long way around the work site to get to my house. The offer now seems a bit backhanded as it really was of no help to me and is taking me further out of my way. I decide to get off and head back to the parking lot to cut through to the other side. I feel the urgent need to poop but I still have a long way to go. A small wet fart slips out which causes me to soil my pants. While in the parking lot, I ask one of the cleaning ladies if she can offer me a restroom where I can clean up a bit. She offers one of her janitor closets which has a small shallow sink with fresh water and some paper towels. I clean up a bit but notice the poop is alive with fish and tiny animals. It is a muddy river teaming with life. Where the poops runs into the clear waters in the sink I examine the various life forms. There are animals of all kinds. This is not standard poop but poop which must be preserved.

After depositing all the poop into the small utility sink with water I leave to continue my journey home. I have very little time to get there so I decide to travel in somewhat unconventional ways. I assume I must be dreaming and therefore must have special powers within this dream. Taking an example from one of the frogs in the sink I decide to try to leap frog my way out of the parking structure. My leap frogging works and I am able to quickly scale my way out of the parking structure only to find it does not exit out where I need to be. Once again, I am confronted with having to find an alternate route.

The animals from my poop are now fully constituted and offer me other resources and new ideas for getting home. There is one fish who is especially beautiful and a gifted swimmer. Following his intuitive lead, I follow him to my home.

I am secure and safe in bed where I immediately have a false awakening. An Airbnb guest arrives. I hear him enter and walk up the steps to the second level. I get up out of bed knowing I already have a guest in the upstairs bedroom. I am greeted by an Asian man and his 10 yrs old son. Something unusual catches my attention about the Asian man I recognize him from before and if I do it must be a guest who previously stayed with me and is returning. Knowing I haven’t changed the pass-code on the door I assume he simply used the old pass-code to enter the house. The boy runs into my bedroom to play with things in my room as if this was his home. At the top of the stairs I explain to the man I already have a guest staying with me and don’t have available space to accommodate him. I sense he has come for an ulterior motive. I sense he is secretly attracted to me. I can see he is getting an erection in his pants. I don’t think it is a match since I am generally not attracted to Asian men. He excuses himself and proceeds to leave with his son.

It occurs to me to check to see if my son is with me. I return to the my bedroom where his son was playing only to find the infant car seat is empty. I go into a panic wondering where I might have left my child and in who’s care did I leave him. I head downstairs where my nieces are gathered. I suspect one of them might have smuggled my child with them. My niece Ester smiles at me with a mouth full of teeth so white they look fake. She smiles a second time long enough for me to carefully examine her digital teeth. There is something electronic about them. Maybe it is the means she uses to whiten her teeth. As they leave, my niece Daisy is the last to say goodbye. She places her hand on my voicebox and transmits a message like a ventriloquist. I immediately feel the vibration of her voice within my voicebox but the sound is muffled I can not understand the words. The look on her face tells me she is very happy for me and is confident I will find my missing child.

I next walk toward one of my guest bedrooms passing through the kitchen and dinning room where the Asian man’s son is sitting at the table waiting for someone to feed him. Knowing the Asian man must still be in my house I open the other bedroom door. The Asian man is in there but blocks the door from opening fully. All I can see is his face and the baby blue t-shirt he wears. One thing which strikes me are his soft youthful features. I have a feeling my son is with the Asian man.

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A Yacht of a Job

March 14, 2019

Last night’s dream was a bit unusual in that I dreamt about my ex-partner Joe who I pretty much hate for the way he has treated me following our break up. What was unusual was that I still had feelings for him in the dream. The dream goes like this:

I am at a marina where many boats are docked. Each boat is a business. Joe works at Levitt & Quinn with offices on one of the yachts. When I see him I am very happy. He stirs fond memories from the time I worked at the law firm. It was my first job right out of high school. I worked as a typist preparing divorce papers for low income families. (Joe never worked there except in my dream.) The memory hits a sweet spot knowing he has managed to work there for most of his life and is the only job he has ever held.

A memory comes to me that Joe and I are no longer together yet I happen to be in his quarters. I look around to see how he has been living all this time. His furnishings are simple and very much like Joe. I can see he is doing some construction on his unit. The workers are building a cabinet. I decide to offer him a suggestion on how to make the best use out of it by changing the materials a bit. The cabinet is where they place things like the life vests.
Joe is already at work on a distinct ship. Needing to get a message to him with my recommendation I decide to use his iPad to communicate with him. I write on the iPad a note which he will be able to see where he is at telling him to use a higher grade of wood on the lid such that it will be better secured. Doing so will allow him to use the lid to set heavy objects on if necessary when entertaining guests. I am happy because he will know I am in his quarters and I am not angry at him. Its a feel good moment for me to be able to help without any resentment toward him. He thanks me for the suggestion and instructs his crew to follow my recommendation. They will need to purchase the additional materials needed.

I decide to leave but first I head toward the law office of Levitt & Quinn to say hello to everyone. Once on the ship I can feel the ship moving. It is leaving the dock to set sail. With quick action I know I cannot remain on this ship. I disembark by jumping across to another ship.

Lucky Call Home

Rainbow Kite Train by Jack

March 5, 2019

In last night’s dream, I am traveling with a small group of people but specifically with one person a guy who I am interested in romantically. It is as if we had gone on this adventure together and accompanied by a small group of people but him and I are together as a unit. Once at our destination it is nearing the time for us to return home. It is as if everyone has an inner calling on when to return home. Once the call comes in it really doesn’t matter who you went with you have to answer the call yourself and find your way back home. Once the call comes in everyone in your group hears a small summary of how far you traveled in your journey. The information is of a personal nature yet everyone is allowed to hear it as a public announcement. When I hear my partners call I find out a little more about him. It turns out he has a very high clearance with the government and is some kind of Central Intelligence Chief. He has achieved the highest or among the highest standing possible. I ruminate over his success and imagine what it would be like to have that type of high paying job. I’m a bit envious but happy that I am with him since we would both benefit from his good fortune. I am also happy we both share the same interest and type of job experience within cyber security.

In the call also reveals the return path we’ve selected for ourselves. We are currently in Baltimore and needing to return to Washington, DC. I have chosen to ride the train back. He has also chosen to ride the train back but in a very unconventional way. For some reason, he has inside information about a delay on the track that will allow him to purchase a later train and arrive in D.C. at the same time I do. This allows him to enjoy Baltimore a bit longer before having to return. For me, the effect is I too am able to enjoy my time with friends a bit longer and since we are still on the same track we can still in essence be connected with each other.

I then see a fellow group member who flies by telling us how the delay is impacting him. He tells us how happy he is that he was able to meet someone earlier in the day and got “Lucky” and now with the delay is going to be able to prolong his happiness. He winks at us indicating he just might get “Lucky” a second time. Our distinct paths home now seem to create a triangle.

Now with some assurance I won’t be missing my return path I decide to try to fly. My body flies high like a kite in the wind flying flying flying but not changing position. The feeling is exhilarating.

I Can Pray For Love

February 9, 2019

I wasn’t happy with last night’s dream so I wasn’t sure if I was going to journal it but I decided to do it anyway.  In the dream, I am with my ex Joe down in Miami.  We are going through the normal challenges of life.  Days pass and we seem to get out of touch with each other until one day I realize I haven’t showered with him in a very long time.  I have a longing within me for intimacy but I seem to simply be moving through life from one place to another unable to pause for a moment to enjoy it with anyone.  The pain of loneliness strikes me today in a way that it hasn’t before so I pause to see if Joe has taken a shower already.  When he passes by me, I can see his hair is combed and styled nicely and still looks wet.  There is another guy “a friend” in our house who has been visiting for a long time.  I notice he too has his hair nicely styled and looking wet.  I ask Joe if they showered together, to which he replies, “Yes.”

I am angry at him for cheating on me and angry at myself for not having asked for what I want.  I grab Joe by the neck and tell him this does not work for me.  I tell him it is over.  Our friend who is now presumably his boyfriend is now angry at me claiming stake to our home.  He has installed microwave lights in the ceiling with the intent on slowly causing me to have cancer and die.  I am clued in on his plot to destroy my life.  They are simply waiting for the effects of the radiation to kill me so they can live out their lives.

There is not much I can do but I remember … there is one thing; I can pray.  I open my palms up toward the radiant light coming from the ceiling and pray that it pass through me and reflect back justice on those who might want to cause harm to me.  I believe justice with prevail.  I remain standing unaffected by the cancer causing light.  Joe and our friend are forced to leave and I remain in the house alone.

~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

As in the dream sometime I feel cheated in life because I don’t have a relationship and I find myself alone.  It also occurred to me that I can’t simply pray for justice i have to pray for the things that matter to me.  I have to ask for what I want.

A Beeded Breast

Día de Muertos, Fruitvale, Oakland, California USA; Takasphoto.com

December 28, 2018

I know I say this all the time but last’s night’s dream was very cool.  I am in a stadium.  Apparently I live here.  I am trying to decide where to put my office to make room for the baby.  The stadium is so expansive I want the layout to make sense.  It is recommended to me that I set my office on the stage as then it would be sectioned off for this specific purpose.  I believe it to be a good idea.  I am waiting for people to arrive.  It seems the business we conduct is growing and we therefore can benefit from the added space the stadium provides.  We still have use of some old freight containers where we used to conduct our business.  These containers can be put to other use.  There is a guy here dressed like a flamboyant gypsy.  He is very handsome.   I can see his pants ballooning as he walks.  He seems to be the one providing interior design ideas.  He shows me how he has repurposed the shipping containers.  As I walk through to look at the new layout a man catches me eye.  We look at each other.  There is an immediate intense attraction but I am somewhat distracted by the gypsy and his show and tell.

An opportunity arises for me to visit privately with the man as the gypsy walks off ahead of us.  The man comes over and I immediately offer him a hug.  As he goes to hug me his shirt opens up revealing his chest.  His chest has many beads with an emblem in the center of his heart.  The beads seem to be something I identify with.  I am so happy to see him.  I pull him in close to me. As I reach around to his back with my bear hug my hands feel beeds that hang on his back also.  The beeds offer me an ever greater assurance he is the one I’ve been searching for.

The warmth from our bodies creates ashes that float away in the wind.  When I first notice the ashes they look like bats because the seem to be flying in the air but as I look at them more closely I realize they are not bats but the ashes from the sage I have been burning in my offerings.   The ashes are going everywhere.    I worry they will be upset with me for the mess I am making with the ashes.  I want to continue hugging the man but the hugs are creating more ashes.  I hug him for just a little bit longer giving him one lasting hug.  I look again at the ashes to see what I might need to do to clean up but now I notice the ashes are turning into babies.  Hundreds of babies.  Each ash flake developing into a baby.  Oh no, what I am going to do with so many children.

 

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I found this image on the internet.  I was thinking where can I possibly find an image of a man with a ton of beeds on his chest.  This one seems so perfect as it has the man wearing an emblem on his chest.  I assume the beeds probably hang down on his back.  He holds the same look the guy did in my dream.  A look of wanting or yearning.  A look that calls you close.

I like that much like the ashes relate to a ritual, the indigenous man probably also has rituals he engages in.

 

This image was used for editorial purpose only.

Shattering of the Universe; How Magick Happens

December 26, 2018

Last night’s dream was very cool.  I was watching Harry Potter before going to bed and I wondered if there was a train platform numbered 9 3/4 in my dream where magick happens and if my dreams have a school of Hogwarts for teaching magick.  I fell asleep with the thought.

In the dream, I find myself at work.  I am friendly with the guy who is the parking attendant for my building.  His company owns several businesses including several parking lots.  Since his workers don’t make a lot of money, he offers them investment tips.  On this day, I over hear him giving out some tips in the way of business news.  I then go about my business.

At work one of my coworkers is Marcus who is a very heavy set black guy who reminds me of the Marcus from MKP.  He is also gay as is Marcus from MKP.  In talking to Marcus, I notice his beautiful qualities and his inner potential.  Even though he is over weight, I help him see a bright future for himself.  In talking to him, something he tells me rings true with the conversation I overheard early regarding the business news.  Today’s news I believe Marcus can apply directly to his life.  Marcus is very excited and begins believing in himself.  He is loosing weight and is wearing a beautiful blue dress.  His hair is long and his makeup is done up nicely.  He likes dressing to accentuate his feminine side.

The next morning, I tell Marcus to meet me at the parking lot where I can introduce him to the parking lot attendant.  We are waiting just outside the parking booth for the attendant to arrive with today’s business news.  After he offers the news to his employees, I get his attention and introduce Marcus.  I stutter in explaining how he can possibly help Marcus.  My inner dialog doesn’t want to seem as if I am asking for his help under an Affirmative Action because he is black.  I want him to know I believe in Marcus and I think he can benefit greatly from his assistance.  As if to read my mind, the parking attendant tells me not to worry, he will help Marcus as I’ve indicated.  Excited with his approval I look at Marcus who now looks stunning.  I pause for a moment to see how Marcus has changed.  I think to myself, “I could really love someone as beautiful as Marcus.”

We walk together back to our office.  Marcus is very excited on his new prospects for the future.  I am happy to have been able to help him in this way.  A truck is driving out of the parking lot and down a road where there is construction.  He drives over a pot hole.  I yell don’t do it you won’t survive the fall.  His car splits in two and is swallowed up by the river that runs along side the road.  I tell Marcus he will have to pluck his car out of the river now.  Marcus and I continue walking.  As we walk, Marcus comes up with a way to apply this new knowledge to help the man recover his truck.  He is eager to help someone.  He comes up with a way to create a sonic boom.  The boom will fragment the Universe shattering it to pieces just enough for the man to recover his truck from the river.  The shattering of the Universe allows us to easily rearrange the pieces of the truck.

The idea works as the boom sounds.  The Universe now looks like a mosaic.  Through the cracks a worm hole appears and a beautiful lavender light comes rushing in.  I see and understand how magick happens.  I realize it is Marcus who helps me.

Party Coordinator’s Kaleidoscope

December 19, 2018

In this dream, I am at a party and I meet a guy who I believe on some level is Travis but in the dream I don’t know him to be Travis. I would say he feels like Travis.  After spending time with him, I feel he is someone I would want to date.  The Party Coordinator walks over to me to show me the Party Log of Events which has in it all possibilities.  The Log is a Wheel that looks like a Kaleidoscope made of many tiny crystals each reflecting a distinct possibility.  In it I see where the Party Coordinator also met this same guy Travis and also had feelings for him.  Knowing we both like him to the same degree, I tell him he can have him since I have a baby.  Wanting to see the baby but not recalling where the baby is in the dream, I take a moment to reflect where I might have left him.  The baby sleeps off to my left in a blue bassinet.  I stroke the baby’s face lightly so as to not startle it.  The baby opens one eye followed by the other.  Without words he communicates to me, “You forgot to change my diaper.”  I look down at his puffy blue diaper and stick my finger in it to check.  It is neither wet nor soiled.  The baby then chuckles.

With his chuckle, I sense this is a dream.

As I awoke from the dream, I still held in my minds eye the Kaleidoscope shining so brightly it looked at times like the sun.  It’s edges glowed a fiery of red.

Travis

December 2nd, 2018

This is a difficult dream to journal.  In the dream I have been interested in a guy for a long time.  I follow him around without him knowing I am interested in him.  I do this for many days, weeks and years.  One day he finds out I am interested in him but by this time I have already met Travis in my waking life.  Here is where it gets a bit confusing because several timelines are happening at the same time.  For what feels like an eternity I have been interested in him but have never shown or expressed my interest to him.  I remember hugging him from behind on many occasions in a friendly loving way.  On this given day he walks by me and pauses.  Someone else possibly a friend of his grabs him from behind the way I have always grabbed him from behind to hug him.  He looks at me and I look at him.  I say to myself, “This is how I hug him”.  I wish he had known all this time how much I love him.  He looks at me as if reading my mind.

There is another parallel scene where I walk behind him wishing he had known how much I love him.  I think to myself if he was to turn around right now …… he turns around and looks at me and with his look he acknowledges he really does love me the way I love him.

Now going back to the first scene as he is being hugged from behind he turns to me and says I should meet him near the bathroom.  But now I have to tell him I found someone I like and am no longer available.  So I head toward the bathroom.  I never really end up at the bathroom instead I seem to find him everywhere I go.  No matter where I go, he is there.  I am confused because it feels like he is Travis except I’m not expecting Travis to be in my dream.

The Eagle Has A Partner

November 28, 2018

Last night I had a heart to heart talk with God.  I have been frustrated with being single and unable to find anyone who feels right.  I am frustrated seeing Facebook profiles with guys and their partners and wondered why I can’t have a partner.  Even unattractive people seem to have found partners.  I consider myself a good person with a big heart and a lot of love to give.  I felt God is wasting my time years of my life I could be loving someone.

So I got gut honest with him and told him in no short terms to CUT THE BULLSHIT something is wrong with your programming.  Fix it. I’m tired of waiting.

So I had a dream and in the dream a woman who is in a high position of authority tells me they are going to conduct a full audit of my record.  I am scared the announcement seems so serious.  The records they will be auditing are of the highest importance.  I assume it is my karmic record the sum balance of my life.

I turn to leave and glance out the window where I see two tiger stripped eagles grooming and playing with each other.  Momentarily distracted by the eagles I think to myself.  “The eagle has a partner.”

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

Upon waking up I recorded my dream and proceeded to have my morning coffee.  I swiped through one of my online dating apps and the first profile I came to was one of a guy who I am very much attracted to.  I messaged him and thought this never works.  Later in the day he actually messaged back.  We proceeded to correspond and something clicked.  A click I’ve not experienced in a long time.  We seemed to hit it off.  Was this an answer to my prayer.  Well I sit here journaling this a week later and in that week we have talked and FaceTimed.  I think there is something there.  I have a very good feeling about this person.  I think the Eagle might very well have a partner.