Look At Me Bobby

June 6th, 2018

I had a dream where my mom has a museum where she displays artifacts from history.  The artifacts have religious or spiritual connotations.  Things like tuning bowls, instruments, mandalas etc.  My mom lives in the house behind the museum.  Someone comes into the museum looking for her wanting to borrow my bike. The person is a cousin possibly Victor.  I’m thinking I hope my mom hasn’t started lending out my things to people because these things are things I cherish and have great value and memories tied to them.  I don’t seem to remember how to get to her house.  He tells me they need access to the water lines.  As he is leaving, I tell him,  I am the son of Otilia.  I then discretely follow behind him knowing if I follow him he will lead me to where my mom is or lives.  I may learn more about my mom.  Behind the house is a natural body of water which is very deep.  The water glows orange and yellow in the light of the sun.  He now has lion hair and a furr coat on.  He now reminds me of my cousin Jeannette.  She dives in to retrieve what they need to access the water main.  When she comes out at the other end I tell her she didn’t have to jump in the water with her coat on.  She then takes the coat off to dry it and now she is a man with a beautiful hairy chest.  I think to myself, why would you cover that up his beautiful furry chest with a furr coat?  He rushes off to get his firetruck.  I am looking in the direction where he went waiting to see him return when from behind a truck and trailer approach.  The truck has no sides or top.  I ask him if it is legal to drive around like that.  He gets off the truck and tells me this is his firetruck.

Scenes flash before me like short 3 second movie clips.  Messages from these people come rushing in.  In one clip, I see my son when he is young.  I stop the clip because after all its my dream and I want to see my son.  The dream pauses for just a moment long enough for me to get a good look.

(Click on above image it’s a 3 second clip)

In the time span of a breath I take in his image.  Feeling complete I exhale allowing the dream to continue.  I then see a man who looks at me.  I am still coming off the intense high of seeing my son so I am not paying much attention to anything else.  I feel like I have what I came for.  Again he makes a facial gesture indicating he too has a message for me.  I am still unable to focus.  He looks directly into my eyes and says,  “Look at me.”  I pause long enough for me to get a good look at this man.  The dream ends here as his image slowly fades from my mind.  Who is this man?

~~~~ DREAM ENDS HERE

I then woke up and recorded the details of the dream.  After my coffee I wanted to know who this man was.  Why was it so important for me to look into his eyes.  I said a prayer and walked into my library glancing slowly at the pictures on the shelves.  I wanted to find a picture with someone I can look into their eyes.  I then came to my Grandmothers photograph.  I stared at my Grandma for a few minutes and felt complete.

I then went upstairs to start my day.  The man’s face a man I’ve never seen before yet clear as day in my mind’s eye sat there not wanting to leave me.  I turned on the TV to watch MSNBC.  The news was having a segment honoring Robert F Kennedy.  It was a long segment on his life.  I am slightly annoyed because I want the regular news.  What is going on with Bobby Kennedy today that they are taking so much time recounting his life.  They then turned to a picture of him and OMG it was his face in my dream.  It was his face exactly.

I then went online to look for pictures of him to possibly look into his eyes.  Come to find out today it is the 50th anniversary of his death.  He died 50 years ago at Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles.

My grandmother Simona Camargo also died at Good Samaritan Hospital when I was in the 8th grade probably 1978.  This is the picture I have of my Grandmother in my library.  I worked at Good Samaritan as a candy stripper the summer she died.  My aunt Helen also worked there as a nurse.  I thought it unusual when I came to her picture how perfect it felt to looking into her eyes.  I felt it must have been her.  I thought maybe my grandma came to me as a man in my dream but why would she do that?  Apparently there was so much more to be told.  What is the coincidence that today would be the anniversary of Bobby’s death.  Curious too the image I found online of bobby near the body of water is a 3 second clip much like the clips presented to me in the dream.  Had he possibly been swimming there in that picture?  And apparently he has a hairy chest.  So many coincidences.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was OB I saw before this man showed his face.  Was it then OB all along showing me his firetruck?  I like the picture of Bobby and the little girl.  I imaging myself someday with OB.  I wonder is that was his daughter.  I don’t know much about Bobby Kennedy.  Was OB my Grandma and Bobby all in heaven conspiring to send me messages.  I think so. I am a blessed man to have a direct connection to the higher realms.

May you rest in Peace Bobby.  And to my Grandma I remember you like it was yesterday.  I will never forget you.  Le tengo mucho amor abuelita.

 

Cat Tail Walk

May 5, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself looking for an Airbnb which I have reserved.  It is a shared space.  I drive around the block twice looking for the parking lot.  I am struck how my memory has full awareness of this location even though I don’t recall ever being here before.  This confusion causes me to miss the parking lot entrance even though I know exactly how to get there.  Once I put my trust in my inner voice I am able to find the parking lot.  I proceed to enter the rental unit and take a shower.  I am in the shower with my socks on yet my socks are not getting wet.  I now feel refreshed.  I return to the bedroom I believe I rented but find there are two other individuals staying in what I believe is my space.  I address the issue with the host who tells me that IS my space.  I complain I rented the space for myself and assumed the house was shared not the bed I’d sleep in.    Upset, I demand a refund.  The man tells me he will issue me a refund but he can’t do it immediately.  He can send it to me in the mail.  I feel vulnerable knowing I don’t have lodging.  I enter the three bedrooms to advise the guests about the discrepancy and injustice for them to witnesses the transaction occurring.  Like cockroaches to light the guests scatter to busy themselves.   I decide I will simply return home and consider it a loss. I feel justified in having received a refreshing shower and I’ve not lost my socks.

The parking lot sits on the top of a hill and there are steps which lead me there.  At the top of the stairs is a walkway bridge with only the side railing and nothing to walk on.  There are inner city children playing here unsupervised.  The children are fearless.  I wonder where they found the courage to do such risky things.  There is a 2 yr old crossing a bottomless bridge.  He is unafraid of falling.  He has a cat’s tail on his diaper that allows him to balance on the railing.  He has obviously done this before and is up to the challenge.  I ask where the mother is but the kids don’t yet speak so they are unable to communicate with me other than to simply acknowledge.

As I woke up I ran to the bathroom and returned to get a few more minutes of sleep.  As I closed my eyes I could see a black and white picture of me.  The image came in closer and closer such that I could see the fine pixels which looked like rice.

Symbolism of Rice

Rice is an ancient symbol of wealth, success, fertility and good health. It is powerful.  Tossing rice at the end of the ceremony is meant to symbolize rain, which is said to be a sign of prosperity, fertility and good fortune. 

753 The Kindness of Strangers

I had a dream where I find myself at a resort sitting beside a kidney shaped pool.  The water is amazingly clear and the sun is shining brightly.  I’m given a few products which are still in their packaging.  They look like cosmetic that one can apply on your face or body to beautify.   I’m curiously curious becoming aware of the many options available to me that the products provide.  One of the items is a air freshener that also doubles as a small portable heater.  It has a red grill and beige back.  I drop it in the deep end of the pool and it descends to the bottom with the red grill facing up.  I pause not knowing why I took the action.  I realize it doesn’t belong in the pool.  It appears to be within my reach but knowing I’m not good at fishing things out from the bottom of any pool because I’m not the best swimmer I’m cautious yet knowing I must retrieve the object,  I walk toward the shallow end to get in and retrieve it.  I see a man who looks like Buck entering the pool.  I ask him for a favor if he is kind enough to retrieve the object for me.  He complains the pool water is cold but proceeds cautiously around the outer edge of the pool.  Arriving close to the deep end he dives to the bottom.  As he descends, I realize how deep the pool actually is.  I know it would be far to deep for me to descend.  I am amazed how he is able to extricate the object with precision.  He must be able to see clearly under water and is able to compensate for any distortion.  He returns to the surface to hand me the object.  I’m relieved to see the pool is restored to it’s original clarity.

The Kids Table

I had a dream where I am trying to coordinate a flight with my ex Joe.  I have to find a place to park my car but the airport parking lot is full and I’m told by the parking attendant that there is a detour and he advises me to find another option.  He points me in the direction of a metered spot but I am suspicious of that spot because I don’t want to get a ticket just in case I don’t get back in time to pick up the car.  Instead I go looking for another parking space.  I am able to find street parking nearby.  I don’t know when the flight is but I do know it is scheduled soon.

I then find myself trying to save my goldfishes.  Someone has placed them in a bucket with very little water.  The fish are struggling to swim.  I feel a strong connection to them as if they were my children.  I go looking for a water bottle to try and save them. I find a blue and grey bottle in the kitchen cupboard.  I fill it up with water and pour it in the bucket only to find the bucket has holes everywhere.  Someone is trying to sabotage my effort. One of the fishes is already dead.  Mocha and Cleo now eat the fish not knowing they are special.

My brother Paz is trying to entrap me between a concrete wall. Paz  has sided with Trump and is now a terrorist.  He is jealous of my spiritual connection and wants to kill me or have me go missing so that he can claim my property.  I’m really tired of dealing with the Paz’s character and decide I will no longer be part of it.  I refuse to give him power over me.  I step into my faith in the knowledge that I am OK regardless of what Paz is  doing.  I then surrender and step into the space between the  concrete walls.  My friends Toni C and Stephen are here along with other friends from various groups who have come to this space to support me.  The space between the walls begins to provide a clearing.

Those gathered here tell me that they have gathered my seed and I have born a child but that the child has the defect of illegitimacy.  They bring the child to me and I feel compassion for his situation.  I take the child and he grows up in my arms.  I teach him how to fly and watch him become a man.  We take flight together and become one.  I feel him against my loins and groin and in my spirit with a feeling of ecstasy.  The feeling is beautiful and overwhelming.

Now in full flight we ascend to an elevation high above to the tops of the buildings where I see a bezeled window with a cut out shape much like a cookie cutter opening.  The opening is large enough for my spirit to pass .  We pass through the opening.

We are in flight.  He is now a full grown man.  Having taught him everything I pass my power to him and now he carries me.  I can feel the wind touch my body.  We are facing each other.  I am moving backward as he is moving forward.    Its time to find a resting place.  As we descend he becomes younger and younger.  Once we land his presence leaves me.

I then find myself sitting at a wooden picnic table where I meet a man.  He is seated beside me.  I am talking to the memory of my son as if he were still with me.  I feel silly talking to someone that is not there.  I’m afraid the man seated next to me will think I’m crazy.  I am telling the man about my dreams and how wonderful they are.  I’m getting confused.  I can’t distinguish whether I’m dreaming or not.  Although I am in a dream, I do not feel like I’m dreaming.  A young boy comes up to me from out of the blue.  Without skipping a beat, I continue talking to him as my son.  He tells me about school and what he is learning.  We have a fun conversation about playful things.  I share with him how my life is.  He then runs off telling me he needs to head back to school. As he is leaving, I remind him how much I love him.

I then resume talking to the man who is sitting next to me.  I tell him how my dreams reveal my son.  I struggle to describe what I have experienced in all its fullness.  You have to be present to fully appreciate the magic.  Once again I feel silly believing the man will question my sanity.

In that moment from out of the blue a young boy appears to hand me a chocolate.  The chocolate is wrapped in an orange shinny tin foil paper with crinkled edges.  I open it to find a hand written note inside.   Reading the note, I recognize it as something I have written.  In that moment the universe opens up as my awareness expands.  I am fully aware of the dream and the magnitude of what it presents.  I am in a dream yet I am awake.  I experience synchronicity and deja-vu in the dream as in my waking life.  Knowing this is my opportunity to see my son’s face,  I take a good look wanting to know if he bears any resemblance to me.  I am surprised to find that he is the same person as the λλale Carrier from my previous dream where I asked him if he had any male for me.

 

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Secured at the Waters Edge

I am looking out my 2nd floor window at the playground below.  I can see lots of people gathered around the basketball courts.  I notice a man in black shorts coming in the building from the playground.   School is in session.  My teacher is getting ready to teach a class.  I can see him in the closet looking for his training materials.  He comes and sits beside and places his left arm around me.  Looking down at my feet I become aware that we are sitting at the edge of a well.  There are several rivers that feed the groundwater for the well.  The well is partially covered about 2/3 of the way and the remaining 1/3 has a chicken wire screen over it that prevents anyone from accidentally falling into the well.  I worry that my dog may someday fall into the well.

As the class begins we are taken on an adventure.  I lesson in survival.  We are placed in unknown territory and are tasked to find our way back.  The trick is you can’t come back alone.  You must return with your entire team.  We strategize.  I seem to be the main player holding the treasure.  The other players have to cover for me.  We have almost cleared every hurdle and are nearing our touch down return.

Communicate!

I had a dream where again I am at my old job and I realize where my desk is.  I have configured some communications equipment and I am showing someone how to establish the same communication.  I can see the offices and the walls between the offices.  I remember there used to be a bathroom between the wall but I can’t see it now from this vantage point.  I then suddenly find myself in the men’s stall between the walls.

At this point I have a false awakening believing I was somewhere in a men’s room stall.  Having to pee I proceed to pee in the bowl. I then recognize that the water line is unusually high.  As I pee into the bowl I wonder if my urine will cause the bowl to over flow.  The bowl then starts to overflow.  I’m worried that it will affect those others who may possibly be in the rest room with me.  No one wants to step in urine.  As I exit the stall i see someone passing me to leave the restroom.  I ask him if there was a problem to which he says no, no problem.  I then look at the time and recall

I leave out and find myself at a store front similar to the old shops on Alvarado Ave in Downtown Los Angeles.  The shops have display windows as outside before you enter.  The store sells musical instruments.  I can see a beautiful violin in the window.  I notice the deep honey yellow color similar to the color of the urine in the bathroom and also similar to a previous dream.  For a moment something feels out of place.  I notice the time and remember the days when I used to arrive at work at 10 am.  Now I know I start work at 8:30 am.  I wonder where the day’s have gone since I seem to have less time during the day than what I used to have starting my day later in the day.

I then walk into the music store and see some unusual bubbles being blown.  I believe these bubbles are used to make alien space crafts.  They are showing me how the ships take form.

elderly man who is flying in the air so i know he shouldn’t be able to fly in the air the way is doing it.  I immediately take advantage of having seen something that doesn’t square with my reality and walk over to the old man.  As I’m walking over I can see there is a concert that is letting out.  I see my Aunt Lupe walking toward me but she doesn’t notice me.  I look at her and the old man and say why ain’t you looking at me.  I want them to know I am really there.  I demand to be seen.  

 

 

Penance Santa

I had a dream that I am asked to dress up as Santa.  It feels like this is an activity that was assigned to me for my penance and to make good my wrongs.  It is a playful group.  My Santa Suit is on but not fully in order as if I’m still getting ready.  People are playing and being jovial with me.  Teasing me about my well pressed and perfectly white T-shirts.  They call me the Mexican Santa and jokingly say “Mexicans have good wives to wash and  press and ready their shirts.”  As people are arriving I’m still not ready.  I grab my scissors and use the thumb and index finger loops to look through them like looking glasses.  I think the scissors are for cutting ribbons.

Dinah is there and it is revealed that she has always been in love with me, a true long lost love and I am to marry her.

I then hear on the loud speaker, “The concerns, there are no concerns right now.”

I woke up and grabbed my new voice recorder to record the dream.  When I was done recording it I closed my eyes and felt as if I was in an in between realm.  I could see blue clouds all around me that I can reach out and touch.  I then became aware that I can replay a dream. I therefore thought it a good opportunity to ask a question.  I asked for the meaning of the Green Man’s eyes.  Why were they so endearing and significant.  Why was my  focus drawn to the eye lashes.  I then hear the response, “because they are your eyes.”  I then asked why was the upper body of the Green Man visible to me yet the lower part was not visible yet I knew exactly how he was dressed I knew the khaki green long cut off shorts he wore with his earthy shoes. I was then told it had to do with his knees.

The answers are simple and straight forward yet they seem to provide no clarity on my question leaving it to me to figure out.  Like riddles.  Yet they are complete in providing the answer.  It’s a language of symbols and impressions that speak volumes more than the written or spoken word.  Answers that can only be understood by the heart and soul.

 

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Mystery Sock

So tonight the night following the Not My Shoes dream, i had a date which I don’t often have or at least not often enough in my opinion.  Anytime shoes appear in my dreams I equate them to the Soul since the souls are in your shoes and in this dream the soul or shoe was missing it’s mate.  So I thought it had to do with my desire to find a soul mate and my lack of success in the matter.  I’m pretty much at the point of giving up on a soul mate given the direction my life is headed in from this point forward.  And it seems that all the available shoes or soulmates are not of my liking.  So after the guy who is someone I’ve been on a date with before long time ago and who reminded me a lot of my ex Joe was leaving I found beside my desk on the cedar chest a sock the size appropriate to a baby.  It was just one sock.  I asked the guy if it was his sock to which he said it wasn’t.  I had been all over the room today cleaning and at no time did I see this sock.  It just strikes me as eerily coincidental that I would be abandoning my pursuit of a soulmate in favor of a baby’s sock. Just like in the dream the shoes I liked only had one shoe without a pair.  The sock also has no partner.  I’ve been scanning pictures and I had a framed picture of me when I was in elementary school.  I think the sock would have fit me and I found it right beside the picture.  So many coincidences.

Not My Shoes

Last night I had a dream where I’m being asked to do something or go somewhere so I prepare by putting on my shoes.  When doing so I notice these shoe are not mine.  I assume they are shoes available to me to wear because they are in my closet.  There’s a fair number of shoes available to me but I don’t really like any of them even though they are in good condition.  The pair I choose to wear are missing it’s partner pair.

Feeling unprepared I decide to lay down and take a nap giving up on the shoes.  There’s a meeting going on a stage in front of me.  I had taken a medication for a possible infection (self medicated) and now I’m worried they won’t give me anything to cure my ailment.  I can over hear the nurse speaking highly of me.  She is considering what to prescribe to cure my ailment. I a feel a loss of control because I don’t know what she is thinking on what she might prescribe the only thing i know is what I’ve over heard which was good but she might not understand why I chose to cheat on self medicating.

 

photo by: Menswear Market