My Work is Complete

April 29, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am at work.  I discover there is a project where my boss needs my attention but he has omitted telling me about it.  I just happen to notice it as the paper work crosses my desk because it is due now.  There are several people named in the document and to my surprise I am also named.  I am surprised because I wouldn’t expect to see my name as a party to an agreement such as this.  Yet the agreement isn’t signed by anyone and yet it is due now.  I am conflicted because on the one hand if I carry this through to ensure it is ratified I appear to be doing it for self interest since I am named.  Yet I wasn’t aware of my name in the document until now.  It feels like it is intended for me as a beneficiary or benefactor of the agreement.  The parties are out of the country possibly in Brazil in a foreign land.  The challenge is I am not quite prepared to meet the many requirements which are formalities and process around the execution of the contract.  I think about all the steps I would need to do in order to arrange the many parts enumerated in the agreement.  It seems I can’t possibly carry out all it’s parts in the time frame allocated for it’s execution without an act of God.

Fearing defeat but actually not so much defeat since I had not pursued this option for myself.  I had nothing invested in it to feel any sense of loss.  The loss I feel is on behalf of my boss whose intent it was to execute this contract.  I know it wouldn’t have been written if he had not wanted it to take place even in naming me as a party.  I do not want to fail my boss even though I just found out about it. It is my desire to see his mission served whatever mission it may be.  His desire is my desire.

I then hear several people enter.  It is the hour that has come to pass.  Now is the time.  As I’m sitting there not knowing what to tell him.  I feel his presence come over my right shoulder as he whispers to me,  “I have taken care of it.  The work is done.”  Now as I look at the document time stands still the steps necessary for the process are complete one by one.  A signature and seal now appear. My work is complete.

 

 

Impressions of a Trapeze Artist – A False Start

Five male trapeze artists performing at a circus, 1890

I had a dream that it’s the day after my last day at work and I find myself back at my old job.  I’m trying to find my way out once I realize that I shouldn’t be here.  I can see the work configurations have changed.  There is someone working at my old desk.  They are telling me that I am welcome to share the space with them and start my own business.  I can see the possibilities for me.  I know I should leave because I’m not supposed to be there.  I work my way down to the 2nd level which I thought was where I can exit the building.  I find myself on the level where the cafeteria is.  I can see my old boss Deb Reilly.  I’m afraid she will notice me and wonder how I gained access to the building.  I’m trying to find a ramp that will take me from the second floor out the building.  There are foreign workers there who have abilities similar to trapeze artists.  This one woman is scaling the french balconies with ease.  I’m afraid she is being a bit reckless but she manages to amaze me with her abilities.  She is unafraid in the least. She knows I’m watching.  I wake up thinking my exit on the the second floor was a false start.

This morning as I awoke after I having snoozed my alarm and had a vision.  I can see a scene before me with some blue and white clouds with the silhouette  of a mermaid’s lower body.  The scene provided just enough imagery for me to figure it out for myself.  I then saw what looked like little grey frogs  crossing the road in front of the mermaid.  I looked carefully at the little frogs to see if they were mini people or insects.  They appeared to look more like little people but the way they jumped was more like frogs.  They seem quite happy in this child like environment; innocent and peaceful and tension free not a care in the world.  Right before the scene came to an end I see someone approaching from the left in the foreground.  A human of normal proportion as though I was watching a TV screen and someone came in front of the screen to peak and see if I am still watching or asleep.  The person peaked in partially looked at me stood there and gave me a look that said, “Did you get that?”

 

 

Santa’s Paradox

Apr 04, 2018,

So last night I had a dream that I couldn’t remember yet here it is.  My alarm rang and I knew I had at least one snooze before I had to get up out of bed.  I also had to pee and I know you can’t fully enjoy a snooze while having to pee at the same time.  As I turned to lift the covers there beside my bed was a man, a green man.  I paused for a moment to look at his eyes and the green fur that covered his face.  His eye lashes gently opened and closed. As I rolled out of bed my knee hit his knee, I thought, “How could that be?”  Upon lifting my sheets there was a pillow beside my knee.  How clever for him to have placed  a prop.  So I ran along to the bathroom.  As I stood there I remembered vividly what I had been dreaming.  Repeating it over and over in my head so as to not forget.  With time constraints, I decide that would be the manner in which I would remember the dream.  I flushed and returned to bed where the green man still sat. I carefully slipped back into bed.  10 minutes later the alarm rang for a second time.  I looked over to find the green man had gone and with him the entire memory of the dream.

I thought it a great opportunity to start adding my book to my blog since I didn’t have a dream to journal.   Its a lot of work to keep up with my dreams so it is nice to have a day here and there to make them presentable.  My intention was to publish my book “In the Course of a Dream, Emmanuel for Love”  in its entirety on my blog to make it easy for me to search key words and simply to make it publicly available.  I had a little time before work so I turned on the TV for background noise and tuned to my favorite shows on Amazon.    I started watching an Amazon recommended program just for me, “New Energy Series, Free Energy – The Race to Zero Point”.  I remember there was a dream in my past where Zero Point had come up in the book back when I knew nothing about Zero Point.  Having the PDF of my book loaded and handy on my computer I searched for Zero Point and here is where the magic began to unfold.

Now I haven’t looked at my book in a long long time.  I also knew there was a purpose in my having written the book even if it was to merely guide my life.  I somehow know the book and dreams are a key part to fulfilling my mission.  So I took a moment to reacquaint myself with it.  I paused to take in the title page, the copywrite page and then the inscription which reads:

Spirituality is a treasure
to live for all humanity,
to overcome a notion,
in a time when spirits rejoice.

I then searched for the reference to Zero Point and was taken to:

A Visit with Santa Claus

I am in a Harry Potter stadium where I am trying to find my way back home.  I go flying and flying on my magic carpet, trying to find my resting place.  The people who live in this area travel on bicycles that fly through the air.  They simply fly.  I feel like I am on Crown Hill where I used to live as a kid.  I try to go back to my childhood house but the scenery and hillsides look different.  I am slightly disoriented.  I land my magic carpet on a hillside and walk along the front yard of a house, not knowing where I am or how to get home.  It is about four in the morning, and it is still dark outside.  The man of the house is standing near an arched trellis with his two dogs.  I tell him that I am lost and disoriented.  I ask him if he could please show me the way out and point me in the direction of my birthplace. 

He takes my hand under his arm and walks me under the archway and through a door.  He opens the door and walks me across the threshold to the other side and says, “There you are.” Looking around there is nothing but a dense fog and clouds. Fearing he might leave me here and close the door behind me, I grab tight onto his arm and ask him to please guide me and tell me in which direction I should head. With all the clouds here, I would never be able to find my way back home.  He then says, “You can go this way or you can go that way,” as he points in opposite directions. Unsatisfied with his answer, I cling to his arm.  He then says, “My son, no matter where you go, you pull the universe with you. You are home.” 

As he says those last three words, his face begins to transform before my eyes.  In his face is the face of every human being that has ever lived.  With that, I realize who this man is and I become lucid.  This is the Face of God.  Knowing I need to take in the fullness of this moment, I pause in thought to stare at the fullness with which he holds humanity in his countenance.  He now has the look of Santa Claus, with spongy curly white hair, a white beard and rosy red checks.  He is talking to me and I can see his lips move with his every word. 

I began to wake up, and as I awakened and my eyes began to open in real life, I could see this man standing at my bedside.  Now fully awake in the presence of Santa Claus, I could hear him saying something.  I quickly reached for my voice recorder so as not to miss any words that he might say.  I began to lose the signal, so I meditated as he patiently waited for me to ready my recorder and continue the dictation.  “Spirituality is a treasure to live for all humanity, to overcome a notion, to be heard in a time when spirits rejoice.”

He then began signaling me to come follow him.  I was not sure where he wanted me to go because he was standing in front of my closet door.  So I said, ”Okay, but first I’ve got to go to the bathroom, would you please wait here and I’ll be right back, then we can go wherever you would like me to walk with you.”

I got up out of bed and made a mental note of the time.  It was exactly 4:33 am on the digital clock in my bedroom.  I went to the bathroom to do my business and came back to bed where the grey-haired Santa Claus was still patiently waiting for my return.  I hopped back into bed with my voice recorder in hand ready to dictate whatever the old gentleman had to say.  He was telling me how to find my way home.  He said it didn’t really matter which direction you go, you pull the universe with you.  He then pulled out one of those birthday party whistles, the type that unravels when you blow air through it.  He said it has to do with “zero point” and the sound of the universe when you blow through the party whistle.  Each time he blew through the whistle the tube unraveled.  I could see a bright red light at the end of it.  From blowing his whistle, my bedroom began to fill with red light.  The red light emanated from the tip of the extended party whistle.

I gazed into it and saw a crystal lens much like the one I see when I meditate on my third eye.  He was basically telling me that he is the force that provides the propulsion energy flowing through the party whistle.

I think they were celebrating my arrival because he continued to blow through his party whistle over and over again.  Maybe they knew I was having a birthday party tonight.

His image slowly faded but in the red light that still filled my room I saw a vision of a little cartoon mole or chipmunk that had come to lead me down the road.  This creature was telling me to follow him.  At the end of the road, I could see a baby chick that had just hatched out of its egg.  In the sky was a bright orange sun and in the Heavens I could see a book whose pages were being blown by the wind.  The scene reminded me of the California Raisin commercials.  In the background, I could hear the words to that John Denver song, “Take Me Home, Country Roads.”

 

“Almost heaven, West Virginia,

Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River.

Life is old there, older than the trees,

Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze.

 

Country road, take me home

To the place I belong,

West Virginia, mountain momma,

Take me home, country road.[1]

 

I am in complete and utter awe, or should I say utter aum, when I read my own dreams. Aum is said to be the sound of the universe.  I believe I have seen the face of God and have held his arm and asked him to guide me home.  In writing my dream and vision this morning of the grey-haired man that reminded me of Santa Claus, it all resonated within me.  At some level I felt God and the Universe were celebrating my birthday with me. Curiously, when I was writing my dream this morning and got to the part that reminded me of the California Raisins, my phone rang once and stopped. I paused for a second to see if caller ID would tell me who was calling but it did not ring again. The phone rang just once and stopped.  It was not even long enough for caller ID to register.

I felt a wave of synchronicity flow though me and thought how peculiar.  I then remembered back to the dream where Jennifer (my angel) had given me a cell phone that had programmed in it her number. She had instructed me to use it anytime I needed her.  Was this an encoded message from the universe?

Have you ever told a person, “If you want me to pick up the phone, send me a signal by letting the phone ring once, then hang up and wait a second and then call back and I’ll know it’s you calling me?”

I resumed writing down my dream and as my pinky finger hit the final ‘a’ in the word California, the phone rang again.  I paused to look over at the caller ID.  Believe it or not it was an out-of-state call.  The display on the caller ID read, “California.”  A mere coincidence to some, but for me it was my confirmation, which the universe always provides to let me know that I am on the right track and can trust in the messages from spirit that I am receiving.  God is so incredibly wonderful.  I love God with all my heart, mind and soul.

~~~~

I found it eerily interesting that today all the chimes that are ringing in heaven with synchronicity drew me to this dream because this dream is the heart and soul of the book.  I didn’t remember it being that now but i did use this as the inscription for the book so it must say something about the importance of this dream.  I never really understood the words of the inscription I simply knew it was important and I’ll confess I still don’t know the importance except for a glimmer of something that came through today.

Second this last year has been all about Santa Clause.  This will need further explaining which I can’t do here.  Suffice to say the topic was so pressing on me that I bought a Santa suit around Thanksgiving.  I knew I had to dress up as Santa for some reason.  I procrastinated till the last minute to order everything because the good gay boy that I am it had to be flawless.  I ordered really nice boots, a genuine leather belt,  the whole works.  The boots arrived literally the day before Christmas.  More on Santa later.  So there is something else I must tell you which I’ve been keeping to myself.  I am in the process of having a baby.  This too is a long story that needs a lot of explaining.  Between my coming around to having the desire to have a baby and the Santa suits I could probably write a book.  It feels very important to me so I need to write about it so I can later remember the details.

Moving on….so I am at the stage of being matched with a surrogate.  I have an agent.  I have names picked out the fertilization has been done and things are presently on ice meaning I have one frozen embryo.  So yesterday I messaged my agent to ask for an update on the surrogate and she indicated that the surrogate she had in mind previously has not been responsive to her messages.  Major bummer but she did say that she had others who could possibly work but she needed more time.

Going back to the Green Man, I am waiting to  hear the chimes of synchronicity when I begin watching the the Zero Point program in the background when the man narrating starts talking about the baby’s arrival.  That immediately caught my ear.  He was referring to the advances in zero point energy as being in it’s infancy but he kept using the analogy almost so much as for me to feel he was talking to me.  Already we had the subject of Zero Point and the hidden importance of Santa Claus not to mention the inscription of the book and now the BABY!!.  Holy Moly I thought I must be going to get news about the surrogate.  I no sooner thought that when the alert popped up on my computer that I had a message from my agent.  She had someone for me.  She even included a few pictures of her and her family.  As I’m scrolling through the pictures the last picture was of the surrogate and her family she has 3 kids and her a very prominent GREEN MAN the Grinch.  It was a Christmas picture.  Here was a family dressed in Christmas colors sitting with the Grinch, yes a GreenMan.  I think the Grinch is probably the dad because he was not a fake Grinch he was real GreenMan.

OK … it doesn’t end there.  So I am reading her profile and one thing that concerned me about her is her age.  She is 41 or 42.  I’m thinking isn’t that too old to bear children.  So I quickly do a search online and come to this….

yada yada yada ….

So what about the notion of delaying childbirth until a maternal age of 45, 50 or older? 

From <http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/5244/delaying-childbearing-how-old-is-too-old>

 

The one word in the inscription I had the most problem understanding is the use of the word notion.  What did he mean by that? Did I miss interpret him.  Well the answer now is no obviously.  I have been struggling with the notion that I am too old to be a father.  I am 54 at present.  Now I’m researching this as it relates to the surrogates age and not mine but it applied to me as well as the surrogate.  Maybe the inscription is for me to overcome the notion that I am too old to be a dad and in doing so knowing that God and God alone has picked the perfect surrogate for me.   My surrogate is Godsend.  Dreams are multidimensional and ring true on many levels.  They always have wordplay in them.  If you take the time to connect the dots something magical happens.  The other dimensions come alive as your awareness grows.  This is part of my mission to share my experience with dreams.  This is my truth.  This is how it happened.  I know it is magic in my life maybe you can find magic in your life.

Anyways I digress because yes i kid you not….there is more.  So case closed…guided by my dreams I know God is telling me I must over come this notion and get on board whole heatedly.  It also tells me that I should not fear or worry about her age.  I’m in God’s hands.  We are in God’s hands.  Ok so I’m on board with the surrogate so I set up a meeting to discuss her with my agent.  During the call she tells me a little more about her.  She’s been a surrogate before.  Then she tells me the name of the last surrogate baby she delivered.  The name is one of the two names I picked for my baby.  I can’t give you the name but I can tell you I chose a boy name and a girl name both names are a variation on each other ie the masculine and the feminine  version much like Robert and Roberta or Don and Donna.  Can’t spill the beans here with the name.  My jaw literally hit the floor.  This surrogate has created space for my baby’s name.

So on a side note….I was so heart broken when some of the embroyos died and didn’t make it to blastocyst.  I had no idea of the numbers game with fertility.  I was also very conflicted about choosing a boy or a girl if i had the choice say for example I had 3 eggs 2 boy and a girl do you choose the boy or the girl.  Would the one resent me in the heavens for not picking them.  If you read back at my mermaid dream when I received the first news of the eggs not progressing.  I believe the mermaid came to foretell me the outcome.  So that further sealed the deal with me.

One last tidbit…the man narrating the program his last name was Bearden.  As you may already be aware I am a bear within the gay community.  My DVR is labeled Bearden.

Oh one more thing….so Debbie Downer Grinch came in to refute my claims of God inspiration and so I looked up the probability of the occurrence of words in the English language.  For instance what would be the probability of the word notion appearing given a single occurrence?  What is the probability of seeing the word Santa in a reference?  Come to find out Google can tell you this information. Santa has a 0.002%, Notion is a 0.005% and Baby is 0.006% and Grinch is 0.0000006544 which is about the likelihood of ZERO POINT.

 

Today magic is all around me.  Spirit dwells among me and as for the Holy Moly Mole one must have a little fun with it I suppose.

[1]               “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” John Denver, Bill Danoff and Taffy Nivert 1971

 

Graduation by Grace

In last night’s dream I am preparing for my graduation.  I’m asked to help develop the processional for myself and my peers.  Grace is there doing her best to interfere with any and all matters in her trickster ways.  She doesn’t realize that people get tired of the behavior but it doesn’t seem to set in.  As the processional is moving in one direction Grace is going in the opposite showing clear signs of confusion which we know is just an act.  I’m tasked with placing the award ribbons around the necks of those in my class trying to figure out how much slack I need to place the medallion securely around their neck.

When I get to Grace, she is standing looking sideways instead of forward face to face.  The loop that goes around the neck in her case is plastic and octagon shaped. I take up the slack and pass her on.  I then realize that I’m the one graduating and in participating in the process I’m granted the recognition I’ve earned.  It doesn’t matter what role I play or how I got there.

 

Procession: the emanation of the Holy Spirit

Emanation: (of something abstract but perceptible) issue or spread out from (a source), originate from; be produced by.

Octagon: Eight sided,

Eightfold Path

Right View

Right Thought

Right Word

Right Action

Right Livelihood

Right Effort

Right Mindfulness

  • Right Concentration

 

The Brick Wall

Last night as I as falling asleep I found myself standing in front of a brick wall.  I’m thinking how I can get beyond this point feeling I need an entirely new approach or course of action.  I look down and notice that both the wall and I are moving.  The moment I notice it the speed at which change occurs is phenomenal as if we had gone through a time warp to travel great distance.

When I woke up I couldn’t remember any of my dreams.  I then proceeded to get up and go about my day.  Later in the day I decided to do a bit of ritual and offer some sage, aroma and a candle.  As I walked around my bedroom with the sage I came to my brick wall beside my headboard when the memory of the dream came rushing back to me.

I also remember seeing babies in bassinets being rolled on their sides and back as if to clean them.  They were playing the tumbling game with the children.

Daddy’s Eyes

As I woke up this morning I saw a young man around the age of 30. He was so beautiful ageless, timeless, eternal. I didn’t know who he was at first but then he opened his eyes and stared directly into my soul as we connected and in that moment I knew exactly who he was. It was my dad. The connection was intense with a deep profound sense of knowing. His eyes were the color of the sun.

In last nights dream I became lucid and found myself in a building trying to find my way out toward freedom.  I am feeling a sense of confinement and I don’t know the people around me.  As I move about, I take note of the ethers that make up the dream.  It illuminates with my thoughts.  There are small etheric people within the ethers who pulsate light and color within their bodies in response to my thought.  They look like brine shrimp as the energy pulsates within the ethers.

As i stand still observing their behavior I see that my ability to create color has developed over time.  Now I experience complex shades of gray-blue.   I also note that the color black has taken on a new form, a delicate lattice not to be feared.  I see the letters 88 or HH appearing in the lattice.

As I walk through one door and emerge in another room very different from the previous I somehow know that I am in the same room.  I then will myself to go outside as I walk through a white door before me, I see people walking about not unlike on any city street.  They all appear to have purpose in being here going about their business.  I will myself to fly but seem to struggle getting very far up off the ground and not sufficient to clear the buildings.   I wonder if I should conform to walking like the others in this dimension.  I also wonder what I look like to them or if they even know I exist in their world.

Pool Access: Code Blacky


In today’s dream I am the proud owner of a new house which may be part of an estate because it is quite luxurious with marble entries and the pool is brand new with low lighting to be very enticeing. I’ve initiated a password to enter and leave the pool area. The code is BLACKY. There are some friends with me who are ready to leave and are waiting for my authorization. They show me their belonging so that I can waive them through. I notice there are a few lamps I brought with me that I’m not sure what to do with or how to use them. There is a small closet next to the pool where I decided to store them. Storing them here takes up all the usable closet space.

As I woke up I saw a red and forest green-grey colors that reminded me of nutcrackers.

As I was falling asleep last night I remember thinking oh look these are the space shipsI could see them flying in the air. I then saw a woman. She looks at me and said something. I immediately new I was approved.

I AM


I had a dream yesterday where i saw what looked like coral and possibly a palm tree which was fading into a coffee cream color. I then saw a man who was talking to me in a gentle and loving way. Lucid at this point and while I had the chance I asked him, Who are you?

Today the answer came back. As I was waking up a saw what looked like scales.

Having my morning coffee at my dining table I thought to myself, would be in their wisdom to answer with a picture. Feeling no further enlightened than when I had asked the questions I searched the internet for the term “scales” and was drawn to this image of the fish. I’ve started blogging my dreams again since returning from the MKP weekend. http://rubenbailey.com/ I was thinking what picture can I use for this dream. Not knowing what to put I though my alter flowers would go nicely. So I took this this picture. I wanted both picture but have a rule of only using one picture per dream. So I thought why not super impose them. This is what I got.

NOW I ASK YOU?????

Read yesterday’s dream where I asked the question Who are you? and look at the picture. My sheet music is in the background. The middle flower looks like a palm tree. The table looks like scales. My sheet music has scales, the fish has scales, this is where I sit and have my coffee and meditate and start my day with a sense of connection to God.

It is nothing less than magical the way spirit works. I consider yesterday’s dream precognitive because it foresaw today’s dream and arrangement of life events all summarized in one image. Truth to the saying a picture says 1000 words.

I’m struck by the placement of things and the word play in this dream.

Who Are You? The Coral Forest


This morning I woke up thinking I couldn’t remember my dream. I then got up and went to the bathroom and returned to bed to do my 10 minute snooze. I then closed my eyes. 10 minutes later my alarm rang for the second time. I turned it off thinking I guess I wasn’t going to have a dream or morning visions that I could remember. I waddled in the warmth of my bed a minute longer and suddenly had a vision. I could see what appeared to be forest green colored coral which was moving as if it was on a turntable. As it turned on the left of my field of vision the coral would fade into a coffee cream color. I noticed some of the coral reminded my of palm trees. I then suddenly saw a man who approached from the coffee colored cream on the left of my vision. I noticed he had a short stubble sandy blond beard. He acknowledged me. I could see he was talking to me. Knowing I only had less than a minute to be with him I asked him my one question. Who are you?

Stone of Mystic Diplomacy

Once thought to be a plant, Coral has been considered the “garden of the sea”, even in so much as the variety of coloring it presents in. Coral symbolizes happiness and joy, enabling it’s bearer to enjoy life to its fullest.

The ancient texts tell us that people once believed that the planet Mars was actually composed of Coral due to its coloring and striations. Records date back thousands and thousands of years confirming that Coral has been used as jewelry and in decorative objects by peoples all over the world.

According to historians and Greek mythology, when Perseus cut off the head of the Medusa Gorgon, some of the blood dropped into the sea and solidified into Coral.

Ancient Egyptians would place Coral pieces in tombs of those that passed as protection against evil spirits in the afterworld, as they thought that it truly contained a drop a divine blood.

Coral may be found in colors such as red, pink, orange, black, blue and white.

What is considered an Organic Gem? Source

Wink Wink

Wink ;)
As I woke up this morning I could see railings being erected as my conciousness rode past. Railing after railing after railing were being erected sequentially. My alarm rang and I got up and went to the bathroom to pee. I then returned to bed and snuggled with Butters for a 10 minute snooze. I immediately saw a colored woman looking slightly to the left. She acknowledged me with a sustained wink of the left eye.

Researched online: Winking is one of the more subtle gestures, usually involving eye contact between those involved. In most cases it is only meant to be known by the sender and their intended receivers. A single wink is usually a friendly gesture implying a degree of solidarity or intimacy. A wink could also be used as a somewhat humorous way to express sympathy, solidarity, and encouragement, especially when the winker is trying to put the receiver at ease in a situation where they might feel nervous or uncomfortable. In such cases the meaning of a wink is not unlike that of a “thumbs up”.