Cross Roads

November 12, 2019

This is a group of dreams I had recently that I haven’t been able to journal because of time constraints. I think this is the first dream I’ve journaled since the birth of my son Oliver. Being a parent now in the early days is exhausting but I felt I needed to get back to journaling.

In this first dream, I am needing to summon my strengths. I’m not sure what strengths are needed or why but I vaguely remember praying for advice and the strength to carry on at home with Oliver and with deal with my loneliness in not having a relationship; my two biggest desires Oliver and a relationship. In the dream, I seem to have come into a state of knowing within the dream a sort of awakening at a the point immediately after I have given my supplications. As my awareness expands with the answer I am told I already have what I need at my disposal I simply need to summon it up. I am in my dining room and see the two crosses I have hanging on the wall each representing the crosses of my mom and dad when they died.

I somehow know I can call on the strength of Jesus through the love and memories of my mom and dad. Yet I still have doubts I can do this. Knowing the dream cannot be wrong I decide to try to reach within myself and do as instructed by summoning the power from within. I begin to feel a well spring rising within me as the walls begin to move. The walls spread apart to embrace a greater space. I realize it really does work for me to believe.

Encouraged by my success I continue to pull from within. The walls continue expanding to reveal an ocean where from the horizon comes toward me the body of Christ in the air. Unlike the two crucifixes which hung on the dining room walls this body is an illuminated body.

In the next dream I am returning to a previous dream. It is the second time I have been here. I am downtown where I work. Since it has been so long I am trying to remember where the metro is located. I think once I find the metro I will be able to find my way home. I start walking and take a turn. I quickly become disoriented and can’t remember in which direction to go. I reach for my cell phone to look up the directions but my cell phone is different. It has features I am unfamiliar with. The camera is on as if it is recording my actions. I am unable to pull up a map on the phone because the camera will not stop recording.

I continue to walk and pass by a group of people. I ask them to give me directions. They recognize me as one who is not from the area and they refuse to give me any assistance. I have to figure it out for myself. I continue walking and run across a second group of people this group is colleagues from work. Again I attempt to ask them believing they will be favorable to assisting me. From my question, they can easily identify me as a foreigner to this place again they refuse to answer. One within the group signals me indicating it is the wrong type of question. I have to find a way to get the answer indirectly.

The next group of people I come across I decide to change my approach. Instead of them dismissing me I immediately dismiss them. I decide to tell them to take a hike. They shrug me off in return indicating I can ride the train out ie their way of telling me to take a hike, I thereby get an indication of where the train station might be locate. I now know the metro is in the direction of the shrug.

In this next dream, I meet a guy with whom I am developing a relationship. He takes me to his condo. Come to find out he has a unit in Sunset Harbor South. My ex an I used to have a condo in Sunset Harbor North. A part of me knew someday I would return to this place. I am standing on the balcony overlooking the bay. It is a corner unit from which I have a view of Sunset Harbor North. Knowing exactly where I am I tell him we are in Sunset Harbor South. He is somewhat surprised I am able to determine my location.

Plasma Kiss

August 11, 2019

Last night I had a super cool dream. It happened right as I was waking up. In the dream, I can see the universe in some primordial fog that is percolating like in a cauldron. The fog is captivating. I recognize it as something very special from which all things originate. My view of it is partial. Sensing there is much to this which is unknown to me, I feel myself levitating and in so doing, I am offered a new vantage point from which to experience the whole of creation. I now see the entire universe before my eyes.

As I levitate higher and higher, I feel as if I have detach from my body. I turn to my right to look in the direction where I stood previously. In turning, I see the profile of 3 eyeballs lined up sequentially almost as if I am looking at myself in a mirror within a mirror. A ray of lightning reflects in each eye creating a very long horizontal thunderbolt. The sight reminds me of one of those plasma balls with the electrical currents passing through it.

I sense this is something very special.

A moment before I opened my eyes I felt a kiss on my temple beside my eye and I heard its pucker. It was the same kind of kiss I give my dog in the morning filled with an intense love. Someone kissed me. In that moment, I felt very special and loved. Someone in the universe loves me.

~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

So today I had scheduled to take my car in for maintenance. While waiting for my car to be ready I decided to check out to new model cars. The first car I sat in had interior lights which ran in a horizontal line from the left door, across the dashboard, and continued along the right door. It felt like my dream all over again. The light had a neon illumination and was the same color as the lightening bolt reflected in the eyes from my dream.

I ended up buying a new car a Mercedes GLE350. In some peculiar way, I felt the universe was giving its blessing (kiss) to make this purchase. Considering the laundry list of items that needed repair on my old car, I believe it was time for a new car.

Jester: The Milk is in the Television

August 6, 2019

Last night I crawled into bed with the animals an each one had a few minutes of cuddle time. I then remembered I had forgotten to my bottle of water so I got up to retrieve it. Upon return I noticed something in the corner of my eye near the back door of the basement as I laid my head down once again for a second time. I zoomed in with my mind squinting to try to bring it in focus. It looked like someone was standing in the corner. As I began to slip away I held my attention on this person. The person came into focus. It was a Jester. With tight pants slightly bent over with a cane or walking stick. I was nowhere near passed out yet. He motioned with his arm extended to come with him. His arm pointing to the path I should follow to come toward him. Resisting sleep I held on for a more conscious visit with the Jester. He finally got tired of waiting so he walked toward me. I was in shock. Three step in, I waved to him, to let him know I was not asleep. I also got a good look at him. He had a gentle smile and olive skin. A warm and welcoming face. I asked myself if this could be OB come to visit but something inside me said, No why would he come as a Jester. With that I fell deep into dream land.

I find myself sitting on a chair that is flying over a river. The river is turquoise blue with some sections being deeper that others evident by a deep aqua color. The scene was spectacular. I seem to recognize this river. I have been here before.

I am able to travel in the chair both backward and forward and there seems to be no way for me to fall out of the chair. There is no seat belt of anything of the sort. We come upon a place where I live. It is a huge house with many rooms and many guests who stay with me.

Much time passes and life is good there. However the area is affected by global warming and one day it is a particularly hot and scorching day. We are walking outside on the asphalt and I notice my shoes are sticking to the ground. I hurry to stand under a tree to take advantage of the shade. The earth is quaking from the heat and my house is destroyed.

Walking though the house now in shambles I look around for what has survived the destruction. To my surprise some very important things still survive. Those who live in the walls are still there. They have never had air conditioning to survive the heat and to this day don’t require it. I peak in and see them there. They welcome me in. I think I too could live in the walls within the ruins of what once was my home. I am sensing it is time to return and wake up from the dream.

I am taken again seated in the chair flying over the river which is still as beautiful as the day I arrived. It has not been affected by the turmoil. I recall the Jester and my descent into dreamland. I want to bring back something but what? I think hard trying to decide what in the world could I bring back from this dream into my waking life to prove I was here. I decide to ask the dream for something. Attempting for formulate my verbal question I am having difficulty verbalizing the words but I am determined. As I wake up the words begin to come forth. I politely ask, “Can I have the milk that is in the television”

Natures Way: Asserting Privilege

June 24, 2019

Last night’s dream was very interesting and somewhat a first for me. I seem to be more ballsy, assertive and determined in my dream. In this one, I am enrolled as a student in a University much like Hogwarts. It is for the most elite kids with special abilities and a society unto itself. I however am not a kid. I have returned to the school as an adult after having been gone for a long long time.

In this scene I find myself in a restroom stall trying to have a private moment when I discover others can look into my stall both from above and through the cracks in the walls and door. I am seated. I discretely pause for a moment without them being clued in to the fact I am fully aware of their presence. I too can see through the walls just like they can see in to my personal space. I decide to reach my hand under the stall and reach up and grab the guy’s leg to pull him down not with the intent of stopping him from looking over into my space but with a firm assertion I am in control. They are flabbergasted I am able to affect their space. I am no longer helpless and a victim to their whims.

When I reached under I disturbed a deck of cards which were sitting in front of me. They were a deck of pictures. They complain to me about my having disturbed the deck. I assert the deck has a new alignment but the images are generally in the same spaces they were in before. With my finger I move the cards grouping the ones which were moved. The changes caused by slightly shuffling the deck places us on even footing just long enough for me to assert myself and be credible in my powers within this realm.

I quickly move to assert myself. I find the lead guy and confront him. I displace him 3 times pausing between each displacement long enough to throw him off his footing and allowing him to question what is happening. How did we get here? To throw him off further and to equal the playing field I displace him yet again for a second and third time. On the final displacement I order him to a new position. I give him an office space where I tell him he can still do all the things he liked doing previously but this new space affords him privacy in his actions. This is how we will play the game. These are the rules of the game. This is how it will be.

Their confusion arises out of the fact that only students can be in this school. Even though I am older I have standing here because I too am taking a class. They seemed to be unaware of the class I’m taking. Now I have to prove to them I have the grades to support my education. Since I am part of another dimension and only transiting through theirs I exclaim my work has been done within my waking dimension. I show them the points of contact between the two dimensions and I reveal my grades which have registered as complete in their realm. They are amazed I have found a way to manipulate the rules in my favor to gain leverage and standing in their realm.

Now I must operate in their realm. I walk up to the chalk board to present my work. They have no clue what is yet to come. Whoosh as if by magic…I describe how the seasons change and how I am able to enhance the colors within each season by using my plants and landscape to add color and depth to my world.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I woke up at 6:30 am. My sleep wasn’t very deep through out the night. I had to be on my toes. Parts of the dream kept repeating with underlying messages. I had on my mind my decision on whether I should accept the job offer that came in this past Friday. Throughout the dream there was a clear sense of confidence in what I was doing and what needed to be done. I think this is the right job for me. Given the number of times the messages repeated I am confident I am making the right decision.

A note on the man I displaced the lead person was no one but me. This too felt like the dream I previously had about David Butler where I am the other person. This is why I am able to achieve an equal footing because we both have legitimate standing. We both exist as one concurrently and independently.

Cat Nap Sketch

June 7, 2019

This vision happened yesterday when I laid down to take a cat nap. I was feeling very tired and shortly after closing my eyes and before falling into dreamland I began seeing scenes play out. Not uncommon for me to see images like this what was a first is the images were animated sketches. I viewed entire scenes play out with these people and picturesque settings with trees and nature. People going about their daily lives out in what appeared to be a nature setting. I’ve never seen sketch art in my dream and for it to be animated I thought of the level of efforts and creativity my minds eye had to exercise to create such a thing.

The scenes were playing out a a very rapid speed and in some places scenes were spliced together to create of change of scenery. It was like a coming together of various ideas to create something new.

The scenes reminded me of the music video for the 1984 song Take On Me by A-Ha

Lyrics – Take On Me – A-Ha 1984

We're talking away
I don't know what
I'm to say I'll say it anyway
Today's another day to find you
Shying away
I'll be coming for your love, okay?

Take on me (take on me)
Take me on (take on me)
I'll be gone
In a day or two

So needless to say
I'm odds and ends
But I'll be stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is okay
Say after me
It's no better to be safe than sorry

Take on me (take on me)
Take me on (take on me)
I'll be gone
In a day or two

Songwriters: Pal Waaktaar / Morten Harket / Magne FuruholmenTake On Me lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Sense of the Moon Ship Mother

May 22, 2019

Last night’s dream was very unique and extremely vivid. In the dream, I am with family and friends when I notice something in the sky. The moon is much larger than normal. Seeing this as a very important moment in time, I pause everything I am doing and instruct those around me to pay close attention to the details of the moon so I can preserve a record to take back with me when I awake. I am obviously lucid in the dream. I focus all my intention on the moon whose clarity is like looking at something through a microscope. I can see details I have never seen before. I remember thinking to myself, this is not a moon but a circular space ship.

The moon ship passes slowly over my head. I then see another object in the sky as it come closer into focus I can tell it is my moms cell phone. What is her cell phone doing in the sky? I instruct everyone to take notes for later.

Later we are comparing notes. In comparing our notes we have insight into what is going on. There is a demon who is influencing this period of my life. But what we discover is the demon is simply part of the process as is night to day. They are cycles that happen in life and now is the dark night. We have good times and we have bad. Wanting to understand more about what motivations this dark energy, I follow the demon in an effort to confront it. I am determined to pursue it and collect all the information so there is nothing hidden from me. In pursuing it I come across clues along the path. There is so much information here it is taking me a long time to process all the information.

For a brief moment, I am distracted with all the data analysis and notice my mom walking by. The whole picture and understanding on how things are connected is starting to make sense to me. I am now confronted with a choice. I have to decide whether to continue trying to solve the mystery or if I want to catch up with my mom to see her again. I decide nothing is more important than reaching my mom. I just have to trust I will retain what I need to retain so I put down all the information I have gathered and call out to my mom who is walking up a flight of stairs in an outdoor walkway which lead to the top of a hill. The street is narrow with buildings on both sides and plants and grasses along the walk. The hill has a steep pitch but she is doing what she can to take each step one at a time. Although I am calling out to her my voice is simply not loud enough to carry and she does not hear me. I call and call but nothing. I worry once she reaches the top of the hill and is past my line of sight I will miss her altogether.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I never really catch up to my mom and I wasn’t able to bring back the mystery. The only thing which was very clear in my mind was that it all made perfect sense even with the presence of the demon. It seemed to make sense.

You Can Have The Piggy Bank

Last nights dream was very emotional. In the dream I am at an MKP type of event where we have been asked to participate in a ceremony. I am so not having it. I tell them I don’t want to be part of the group anymore and to count me out. I list out the many ways I am in disagreement with the things they do. What I didn’t realize is my essence is intrinsically tied to the the group. So when it comes time for me them to go on stage to perform I am there with them in the background showing my discontent. The whole thing becomes part of the storyline. In essence they got me to play my role in true form.

After it is all said and done the work needed to get me to the other side doesn’t seem excessive. There is a woman from the Good Will Store who is collecting donations. I see her and immediately think to donate from my stash of unused things. She is collecting Toys for Tots. I walk around my place gathering items as she followsclose behind. I narrate the story of each item to her. There are stuffed animals of all kinds I gather for her cause.

I open a cabinet and find two baby blue piggy banks. They look like a pretend television set and a pretend car both around the same size. As the memory of the story related to the piggy banks streams into my consciousness, I begin to well up inside with emotion. I go into the TV set recalling the memories within it. Inside the TV set is a pink toy computer. It has distinct ridges and the appearance of a real computer with its USB connections. This pink computer was my moms toy. I break down into full tears. I can feel the connection with my mom as my hand touches the ridges of the computer.

I pause in the narration of the story behind the items to recompose myself. I tell her the biggy banks might be too large for her to carry now but she is welcome to come back for them.

I want to go see my mom. She offer me a ride to Glendale in her car where I can visit with my mom. The car we are in can fly. We stop at the gas station at Pacific and Stocker in Glendale. Her driver tells me this is as far as they can take me and I will have to walk the rest of the journey myself. Knowing my mom lives just round the corner I get out and thank them.

As I cross the street I notice storm clouds on the horizon with what looks to be heavy rain headed my way. I need to reach my moms house before the downpour comes. Without a second thought I decide to fly instead of walk. I take to the sky with no problem at all. After I am high up in the sky I can see from this vantage the magnitude of the storm headed my way and realize I have never flown in the rain. For this reason I have reservations regarding my safety.

I can see my moms house in the distance and i try to descend but the winds are kicking me up higher and higher. I am forced to come in for a landing with a very steep descent. I touch down safely at my moms house. Relieved I open my eyes.

On The Mantel, DJ Scratch

March 13, 2019

Last night’s dream was very powerful. In the dream, I am in my own house yet it feels like my house is occupied by other people who are making decisions about it. A woman is in charge of all affairs within the house which she uses as her business. She has hired me on in some capacity possibly as an administrator or representative. The woman is so powerful and magical. She commands the forces of the universe with grace. Everyone is amazed at her power. All here wonder how it is she does what she does. I am on my first few days at work just learning about the woman and her home business. She has many workers working for her and the house is huge with many rooms. They are doing construction on the house in some areas. They are excavating the basement where there is a fireplace. She is planning on removing the fireplace all together to create a more open environment. I can see where they are removing the plaster which covers the facade of the bricks 5 inches thick. Upon seeing the exposed brick, I immediately sense, this is my house and I am not approving of removing the fireplace. As they slowly remove more and more of the plaster covering the bricks it exposes the firebox which has been closed off and sealed. I have a sense they are not removing the fireplace altogether but instead restoring it to its original usable form. As the bricks and plaster that have closed off the firebox are removed, I can see into and beyond the firebox into the foundation upon which the house was built. The pillars supporting the house are enormous yet the crawl space under the house is small and claustrophobic. I am momentarily swept in under the house as if traveling through a worm hole. I become dizzy and disoriented. The rush of euphoria is incredible. I quickly return to my original thought. I wonder how much courage the workers had to work beneath the foundation of the house. The workers were working from within excavating their way toward me. It is a two way effort.

The mantel is now visible. It exposes a silver and black metal relief over the fireplace. As more and more layers are removed exposing more of the fireplace I am filled with insight about how the woman commands the forces of the universe. It is not all of her doing she simply summons the energies of her forefathers throughout the ages. Theses things within her house bear the connections. Everything in life has an energetic connection to the past.

With my awareness I too am now able to command these forces. I remember I can fly. I raise up off the ground as everything below me begins to spin. I realize I can make decisions here to affect the outcome of the the construction on my house. I have a say in what is done here. To prove this, I command the spin to pause, adjust like dialing a combination lock. With my thoughts the spin responds like a DJ would scratch on a record.

PDF: Public Displays of Friendship

How a Lack of Touch is Destroying Men, by Mark Greene

January 23, 2019

Last night’s dream was very touching for several reasons.  I have been feeling very lonely lately and isolated.  Even though I have people I know around me there are far and few I can call good friends.  My heart yearns for deep connections.  In the dream I am at work.  My old boss BMo who I worked under for 20 yrs gives me and my team a project to work on.  There are many parts to this project which have to come together just right.  I have completed my tasks and am waiting on the rest to complete theirs.  My boss wants to view the outputs to the project so he can review them.  I can see my completed tasks on my phone but I am trying to figure out how I can get it from my phone to where he can see them.  I decide to print it which I do but then I realize I do not have a print driver on my cell phone.  I then try to create a PDF of the document.  It is proving very challenging to transfer the information but I manage to get the information to my boss.

A co-worker is sitting at his computer and asks if I can help him retrieve some data off a hard drive.  He has several hard drives taped together with black duck tape possibly to conceal the data.  He point to the area beneath the tape where he believes the data is stored.  We have to get the data without removing the tape.  Jokingly I ask, “Why did you secure it with duck tape? Is it your porn collection?”  He simply laughs and grabs my hand to hold it.  I sense from his touch he is wanting an excuse to have physical contact with me.  I am confused because I know him to be a straight man.

He holds my hand for an extended amount of time not wanting to release it.  We work on accessing his data.  Feeling more and more comfortable with him holding my hand I stand behind him and place my other hand on his neck.  I can feel the little hairs on the back of his neck.  My body fills with emotion and a sense of longing.  As our final act he gets up and thanks me.  As he gets up, I release my grip on his shoulder and my hand slides gently along his chest.  I can feel his heart beat and a sense of a warmth pulsating deep within.

Our team project is complete with the help of our team mates.  I can see my boss’s sense of satisfaction for a job well done.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I felt so good after waking up.  A part of me felt like God or the Universe feels my pain and wants to comfort me by giving me what I need even if it is just in a dream.  The is not to belittle the effects of the dream because they feel so real to me.  I woke up feeling cuddled and hugged.

I went on my search for a picture to go with the dream and came across this one which is so perfectly suited for the dream.  The article “How a Lack of Touch is Destroying Men” so perfectly hit the nail on the head.  It is a must read and so applicable to me and my situation now since I am expecting a baby and since I will be a stay at home dad raising my little one I can take the opportunity to teach the value of touch.  It is also reassuring for me to know how much I too will receive from the experience of being a parent.

Sometimes the synchronicity of the message in the article that is perfectly suited for where I am and what I need today makes me feel like the Universe is responding directly to my need.  How wonderful is that?

 

A Ripple In Time

The U.S. Army – International Space Station Expedition 22 crew members take a moment for photographs

January 21, 2019

Last night’s dream I wasn’t wanting to journal it.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night from the dream and consciously deciding I don’t like this dream so I didn’t record it.  However, this morning I still remember all the details so here it is.

In the dream, I am part of a space program on the International Space Station.  However, it is much larger than the small one that orbits earth.  On the space station everyone is aware of aliens.  There are competing agendas in space but for the most part organizations seem to get along except…. the US and the Russians.  On the surface it looks like we get along because we are both from Earth but in reality there is a plot to kill someone.  They have created alliances with a malevolent alien group.  Passage between the US area and the Russian area is strictly monitored.  On this day,  we are asked to do a medical mission to the Russian side.  I am traveling with about 7 people.  The gates that allow you to cross are owned by each government.  We are in a hurry so I line up to go through the Russian gates even though I am not Russian.  Once on the other side I have a deja-vu.  I recognize this space and I know what is about to happen.  There is a plot to kill the doctor by sabotaging the train she is on.  I fear for our lives.  Once on the other side, there are many people passing through with their credentials.  The Doctor rides on the tram before me.  Something she is wearing gets caught in the mechanical parts of the train aas the car turns she is swallowed up and killed.   I am watching this not believing my eyes.  The Russians claim it is an accident.  The next car goes through I am in the car.  I believe this is the end of my life.  Something in me tells me I have to pee.  Instantly I become lucid.  As the car is moving I decide to modify the tracks.  It is after all my dream.  Where the track would have swallowed me up I create an opening in my mind through which the track may diverge.

I am wearing a primitive life vest which has little inflatable wings attached to it.  The wings seem to be more decorative than functional.  The wings remind me I can fly.  I realize this is the first time I’ve learned I can fly.  It is as if time has shifted.  I play out the first time I flew.  I am experiencing how it was to fly with the confidence of knowing I’ve always been able to fly.  I take off like a rocket.  I am flying over black waters in outer space.  One thing new is I don’t have a sense of direction.  I have managed to break free.  I wake up needing to pee.  After returning from the bathroom, I lay back down and close my eyes.  I find myself in a hallway where I am welcomed by three men.  I focus on the guy in the middle.  He has distinctively American features and is clean shaven.  I ask myself, “When will my dreams catch up with my bearded fetish.”   None the less, there is something about his look that feels welcoming.  He greets me and asks where did I take off to.  So I answer…”I had to pee.”   He then opens the door and I am returned to the scene before the Doctor went through the passage and is killed.

Now feeling relieved of my bladder I watch.  She gets in and the train begins to roll down the track.  Again she is swallowed up.  Again the Russian try to play it off as an accident but as soon as they do a ripple in the timeline is felt and she reemerges with a baby blue life vest on and the little wings similar to the ones I was wearing when I went to the bathroom.  Now the Russians are exposed for the truth.  She is saved and still lives.

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I struggled to find an image to go with the dream.  Then I ran across this one with the three astronauts and it reminded me of the three men who met me when I returned from the bathroom.  The one in the middle looks very similar to the guy who was in the middle with a very welcoming look.

I’m not sure why I didn’t want to journal this.  I think it is because I don’t like violence.  I hate all  the violence in movies.