Post It Ruben

I woke up briefly in the middle of the night to roll over half asleep and still dreaming,  I got comfy in my new position.  I then saw a group of post-it notes fly in front of me as if on a cloths line.  The post-its dangled forcefully in front of me as if to imply, THIS IS IMPORTANT.  As I examine the writing i notice the writing is in cursive in a faint baby blue color.  I can barely make out what it says.  Knowing I won’t be able to translate it literally since I am never really successful in reading things in dreams,  I take in the note in it’s entirety allowing myself to feel the writing. I imagine myself as the writer and what i felt at the time the note was written.  What message do I want to tell myself right now?  Still awake in real life, I think to myself, “you better grab your voice recorder under my pillow and try to record what is on the note..  But my tired eyes would not allow the movement of my arms.

The scene changes and now in place of post-it notes I see faces on the line just like the post-it notes.  They are still images of a man.  I recognize the man.  It is me.  The picture is of me but it is not a me I recognize yet I know the person in the image to be me.  I am the man in the picture.

I then fell deep into my sleep no longer recalling anything that came after.

The minute I woke up in the morning I had the thought, “that was an important dream that must be noted.”  I struggled to reflect for a moment what was so important to remember.  I thought you’ll never remember since I knew it occurred in the middle of the night and I was doubtful I had recorded anything on my voice recorder.  It then came rushing back.  I could see once again the post-it notes and the face of the man.

I found this image of anti-bullying post-it notes from Spring High School in Eugene Oregon.

.

A Horse is a Horse, of Course

May 11, 2018

Last night’s dream I don’t recall very much.  What I do remember is seeing the same repeating patterns over and over and over again.  I find myself gazing at beautiful blue, grey and now black shadows.  The image is presented to me much like a filmstrip in a movie theater as the credits go past the screen but instead of words they are patterns of blue, grey and black.  I associate blue and grey with OB from previous dreams and here the dream has introduced black.  The grey is comprised of what looks like patterns of leaves.  As the patterns pass by from bottom to top they invoke feelings as if generated by bubbles of emotion coming up from within me and onto the screen of my mind.  I am flooded with wonderful feelings of joy.  I am relaxed and free.  I take notice of the dream and desire knowledge on how the images are constructed.  I am able to determine a repeating pattern.  At this point the pattern stabilizes and comes into focus as moon struck images. I’ve not seen moon struck images in many years.  I can see the shadow profile of a man kissing what appears to be a horse or camel on the cheek.  I can only see the shadow of the neck and head of the animal.  He kisses and pats the horse in a sign of love, appreciation and admiration.

I  suddenly realize there is a man standing in front of me.  He wears a shaved head and face with about what would amount to a 3 day stubble all over.  I can see the man’s eyes as he looks dead set at me.  I know or am told I am the man.  Yet why would I be without a beard?  For a long time in my dreams, I was not seeing any men’s faces with beards.  I always thought it strange considering I am a lover of beards why wouldn’t my dreams hold more bearded men. I remember after coming to the awareness of it my dreams began introducing bearded men or possibly I became more aware of them. It seems strange for me to be witnessing a shift to the past as my dreams once were with moon struck images.  I sense a time shift occurring.  

DREAM ENDS HERE.

Something magical happened on this day.  The fertility clinic is requiring my GC IM to have a consultation with a MFM doctor.  She told me today that her midwife referred her to someone who she then called and made an appointment.  His name is Dr. Christmas.   What a magical coincidence.  Because the calling I had last year to do Santa was so strong.  I had so many dreams and visions with Christmas themes.  Unfortunately I wasn’t journaling during this time.  I remember having this one vision where I saw three cartoon children playing in the snow on a hill.  They were playing tumbling rolling down the hill.  As the tumbled down a windy path toward where I was the last tumble before they popped their heads up when they came up out of the snow they each had a white full Christmas beard and they all looked just like me when I was a kid.  It was so cute it just melted my heart.

I remember one dream where my bed was a sleigh ( I actually have a sleigh bed) and I was sweating under the covers and every time I moved or shifted my weight the humidity from under the sheets would rise and create snow all around us.  As we traveled on the bed my family and friends were with me on the sleigh we would make stops some in dangerous places where we had to hide under the covers.  It was hard to hide or go unnoticed because it kept snowing out of character.  Luckily the evil criminals never suspected anything believing instead that it was just an unusual anomaly.  I remember at the last stop i poked my head up from under the covers and father time with a long grey beard was sitting on the bed.

I rejected the messages that somehow I should be a Santa.  I also didn’t think I could be around children.  My self image of parenthood or Santa was so low.   Why would parents want a gay Santa?  As the holidays approached last year I began hearing the suggestion from so many friends I couldn’t hide anymore.  The universe wanted me to be a Santa.  I thought I could possibly visit nursing homes in costume (purposefully avoiding anything with children) I didn’t want to be rejected.  I ordered the costume online.  I ordered the best costume I could find with real leather boots and leather belt.  The boots literally arrived on Christmas eve.  I only wore the costume to some parties friends were having.  Although I did call some nursing home I didn’t have to courage to actually go.  Maybe this year with more time I’ll work on building on that courage.  I did get really good feedback from friends.

So I don’t know the full extent of this Christmas reference in the surrogacy process but I do know it’s all over the place.  It’s the universes intent.

 

 

Penance Santa

I had a dream that I am asked to dress up as Santa.  It feels like this is an activity that was assigned to me for my penance and to make good my wrongs.  It is a playful group.  My Santa Suit is on but not fully in order as if I’m still getting ready.  People are playing and being jovial with me.  Teasing me about my well pressed and perfectly white T-shirts.  They call me the Mexican Santa and jokingly say “Mexicans have good wives to wash and  press and ready their shirts.”  As people are arriving I’m still not ready.  I grab my scissors and use the thumb and index finger loops to look through them like looking glasses.  I think the scissors are for cutting ribbons.

Dinah is there and it is revealed that she has always been in love with me, a true long lost love and I am to marry her.

I then hear on the loud speaker, “The concerns, there are no concerns right now.”

I woke up and grabbed my new voice recorder to record the dream.  When I was done recording it I closed my eyes and felt as if I was in an in between realm.  I could see blue clouds all around me that I can reach out and touch.  I then became aware that I can replay a dream. I therefore thought it a good opportunity to ask a question.  I asked for the meaning of the Green Man’s eyes.  Why were they so endearing and significant.  Why was my  focus drawn to the eye lashes.  I then hear the response, “because they are your eyes.”  I then asked why was the upper body of the Green Man visible to me yet the lower part was not visible yet I knew exactly how he was dressed I knew the khaki green long cut off shorts he wore with his earthy shoes. I was then told it had to do with his knees.

The answers are simple and straight forward yet they seem to provide no clarity on my question leaving it to me to figure out.  Like riddles.  Yet they are complete in providing the answer.  It’s a language of symbols and impressions that speak volumes more than the written or spoken word.  Answers that can only be understood by the heart and soul.

 

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Santa’s Paradox

Apr 04, 2018,

So last night I had a dream that I couldn’t remember yet here it is.  My alarm rang and I knew I had at least one snooze before I had to get up out of bed.  I also had to pee and I know you can’t fully enjoy a snooze while having to pee at the same time.  As I turned to lift the covers there beside my bed was a man, a green man.  I paused for a moment to look at his eyes and the green fur that covered his face.  His eye lashes gently opened and closed. As I rolled out of bed my knee hit his knee, I thought, “How could that be?”  Upon lifting my sheets there was a pillow beside my knee.  How clever for him to have placed  a prop.  So I ran along to the bathroom.  As I stood there I remembered vividly what I had been dreaming.  Repeating it over and over in my head so as to not forget.  With time constraints, I decide that would be the manner in which I would remember the dream.  I flushed and returned to bed where the green man still sat. I carefully slipped back into bed.  10 minutes later the alarm rang for a second time.  I looked over to find the green man had gone and with him the entire memory of the dream.

I thought it a great opportunity to start adding my book to my blog since I didn’t have a dream to journal.   Its a lot of work to keep up with my dreams so it is nice to have a day here and there to make them presentable.  My intention was to publish my book “In the Course of a Dream, Emmanuel for Love”  in its entirety on my blog to make it easy for me to search key words and simply to make it publicly available.  I had a little time before work so I turned on the TV for background noise and tuned to my favorite shows on Amazon.    I started watching an Amazon recommended program just for me, “New Energy Series, Free Energy – The Race to Zero Point”.  I remember there was a dream in my past where Zero Point had come up in the book back when I knew nothing about Zero Point.  Having the PDF of my book loaded and handy on my computer I searched for Zero Point and here is where the magic began to unfold.

Now I haven’t looked at my book in a long long time.  I also knew there was a purpose in my having written the book even if it was to merely guide my life.  I somehow know the book and dreams are a key part to fulfilling my mission.  So I took a moment to reacquaint myself with it.  I paused to take in the title page, the copywrite page and then the inscription which reads:

Spirituality is a treasure
to live for all humanity,
to overcome a notion,
in a time when spirits rejoice.

I then searched for the reference to Zero Point and was taken to:

A Visit with Santa Claus

I am in a Harry Potter stadium where I am trying to find my way back home.  I go flying and flying on my magic carpet, trying to find my resting place.  The people who live in this area travel on bicycles that fly through the air.  They simply fly.  I feel like I am on Crown Hill where I used to live as a kid.  I try to go back to my childhood house but the scenery and hillsides look different.  I am slightly disoriented.  I land my magic carpet on a hillside and walk along the front yard of a house, not knowing where I am or how to get home.  It is about four in the morning, and it is still dark outside.  The man of the house is standing near an arched trellis with his two dogs.  I tell him that I am lost and disoriented.  I ask him if he could please show me the way out and point me in the direction of my birthplace. 

He takes my hand under his arm and walks me under the archway and through a door.  He opens the door and walks me across the threshold to the other side and says, “There you are.” Looking around there is nothing but a dense fog and clouds. Fearing he might leave me here and close the door behind me, I grab tight onto his arm and ask him to please guide me and tell me in which direction I should head. With all the clouds here, I would never be able to find my way back home.  He then says, “You can go this way or you can go that way,” as he points in opposite directions. Unsatisfied with his answer, I cling to his arm.  He then says, “My son, no matter where you go, you pull the universe with you. You are home.” 

As he says those last three words, his face begins to transform before my eyes.  In his face is the face of every human being that has ever lived.  With that, I realize who this man is and I become lucid.  This is the Face of God.  Knowing I need to take in the fullness of this moment, I pause in thought to stare at the fullness with which he holds humanity in his countenance.  He now has the look of Santa Claus, with spongy curly white hair, a white beard and rosy red checks.  He is talking to me and I can see his lips move with his every word. 

I began to wake up, and as I awakened and my eyes began to open in real life, I could see this man standing at my bedside.  Now fully awake in the presence of Santa Claus, I could hear him saying something.  I quickly reached for my voice recorder so as not to miss any words that he might say.  I began to lose the signal, so I meditated as he patiently waited for me to ready my recorder and continue the dictation.  “Spirituality is a treasure to live for all humanity, to overcome a notion, to be heard in a time when spirits rejoice.”

He then began signaling me to come follow him.  I was not sure where he wanted me to go because he was standing in front of my closet door.  So I said, ”Okay, but first I’ve got to go to the bathroom, would you please wait here and I’ll be right back, then we can go wherever you would like me to walk with you.”

I got up out of bed and made a mental note of the time.  It was exactly 4:33 am on the digital clock in my bedroom.  I went to the bathroom to do my business and came back to bed where the grey-haired Santa Claus was still patiently waiting for my return.  I hopped back into bed with my voice recorder in hand ready to dictate whatever the old gentleman had to say.  He was telling me how to find my way home.  He said it didn’t really matter which direction you go, you pull the universe with you.  He then pulled out one of those birthday party whistles, the type that unravels when you blow air through it.  He said it has to do with “zero point” and the sound of the universe when you blow through the party whistle.  Each time he blew through the whistle the tube unraveled.  I could see a bright red light at the end of it.  From blowing his whistle, my bedroom began to fill with red light.  The red light emanated from the tip of the extended party whistle.

I gazed into it and saw a crystal lens much like the one I see when I meditate on my third eye.  He was basically telling me that he is the force that provides the propulsion energy flowing through the party whistle.

I think they were celebrating my arrival because he continued to blow through his party whistle over and over again.  Maybe they knew I was having a birthday party tonight.

His image slowly faded but in the red light that still filled my room I saw a vision of a little cartoon mole or chipmunk that had come to lead me down the road.  This creature was telling me to follow him.  At the end of the road, I could see a baby chick that had just hatched out of its egg.  In the sky was a bright orange sun and in the Heavens I could see a book whose pages were being blown by the wind.  The scene reminded me of the California Raisin commercials.  In the background, I could hear the words to that John Denver song, “Take Me Home, Country Roads.”

 

“Almost heaven, West Virginia,

Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River.

Life is old there, older than the trees,

Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze.

 

Country road, take me home

To the place I belong,

West Virginia, mountain momma,

Take me home, country road.[1]

 

I am in complete and utter awe, or should I say utter aum, when I read my own dreams. Aum is said to be the sound of the universe.  I believe I have seen the face of God and have held his arm and asked him to guide me home.  In writing my dream and vision this morning of the grey-haired man that reminded me of Santa Claus, it all resonated within me.  At some level I felt God and the Universe were celebrating my birthday with me. Curiously, when I was writing my dream this morning and got to the part that reminded me of the California Raisins, my phone rang once and stopped. I paused for a second to see if caller ID would tell me who was calling but it did not ring again. The phone rang just once and stopped.  It was not even long enough for caller ID to register.

I felt a wave of synchronicity flow though me and thought how peculiar.  I then remembered back to the dream where Jennifer (my angel) had given me a cell phone that had programmed in it her number. She had instructed me to use it anytime I needed her.  Was this an encoded message from the universe?

Have you ever told a person, “If you want me to pick up the phone, send me a signal by letting the phone ring once, then hang up and wait a second and then call back and I’ll know it’s you calling me?”

I resumed writing down my dream and as my pinky finger hit the final ‘a’ in the word California, the phone rang again.  I paused to look over at the caller ID.  Believe it or not it was an out-of-state call.  The display on the caller ID read, “California.”  A mere coincidence to some, but for me it was my confirmation, which the universe always provides to let me know that I am on the right track and can trust in the messages from spirit that I am receiving.  God is so incredibly wonderful.  I love God with all my heart, mind and soul.

~~~~

I found it eerily interesting that today all the chimes that are ringing in heaven with synchronicity drew me to this dream because this dream is the heart and soul of the book.  I didn’t remember it being that now but i did use this as the inscription for the book so it must say something about the importance of this dream.  I never really understood the words of the inscription I simply knew it was important and I’ll confess I still don’t know the importance except for a glimmer of something that came through today.

Second this last year has been all about Santa Clause.  This will need further explaining which I can’t do here.  Suffice to say the topic was so pressing on me that I bought a Santa suit around Thanksgiving.  I knew I had to dress up as Santa for some reason.  I procrastinated till the last minute to order everything because the good gay boy that I am it had to be flawless.  I ordered really nice boots, a genuine leather belt,  the whole works.  The boots arrived literally the day before Christmas.  More on Santa later.  So there is something else I must tell you which I’ve been keeping to myself.  I am in the process of having a baby.  This too is a long story that needs a lot of explaining.  Between my coming around to having the desire to have a baby and the Santa suits I could probably write a book.  It feels very important to me so I need to write about it so I can later remember the details.

Moving on….so I am at the stage of being matched with a surrogate.  I have an agent.  I have names picked out the fertilization has been done and things are presently on ice meaning I have one frozen embryo.  So yesterday I messaged my agent to ask for an update on the surrogate and she indicated that the surrogate she had in mind previously has not been responsive to her messages.  Major bummer but she did say that she had others who could possibly work but she needed more time.

Going back to the Green Man, I am waiting to  hear the chimes of synchronicity when I begin watching the the Zero Point program in the background when the man narrating starts talking about the baby’s arrival.  That immediately caught my ear.  He was referring to the advances in zero point energy as being in it’s infancy but he kept using the analogy almost so much as for me to feel he was talking to me.  Already we had the subject of Zero Point and the hidden importance of Santa Claus not to mention the inscription of the book and now the BABY!!.  Holy Moly I thought I must be going to get news about the surrogate.  I no sooner thought that when the alert popped up on my computer that I had a message from my agent.  She had someone for me.  She even included a few pictures of her and her family.  As I’m scrolling through the pictures the last picture was of the surrogate and her family she has 3 kids and her a very prominent GREEN MAN the Grinch.  It was a Christmas picture.  Here was a family dressed in Christmas colors sitting with the Grinch, yes a GreenMan.  I think the Grinch is probably the dad because he was not a fake Grinch he was real GreenMan.

OK … it doesn’t end there.  So I am reading her profile and one thing that concerned me about her is her age.  She is 41 or 42.  I’m thinking isn’t that too old to bear children.  So I quickly do a search online and come to this….

yada yada yada ….

So what about the notion of delaying childbirth until a maternal age of 45, 50 or older? 

From <http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/5244/delaying-childbearing-how-old-is-too-old>

 

The one word in the inscription I had the most problem understanding is the use of the word notion.  What did he mean by that? Did I miss interpret him.  Well the answer now is no obviously.  I have been struggling with the notion that I am too old to be a father.  I am 54 at present.  Now I’m researching this as it relates to the surrogates age and not mine but it applied to me as well as the surrogate.  Maybe the inscription is for me to overcome the notion that I am too old to be a dad and in doing so knowing that God and God alone has picked the perfect surrogate for me.   My surrogate is Godsend.  Dreams are multidimensional and ring true on many levels.  They always have wordplay in them.  If you take the time to connect the dots something magical happens.  The other dimensions come alive as your awareness grows.  This is part of my mission to share my experience with dreams.  This is my truth.  This is how it happened.  I know it is magic in my life maybe you can find magic in your life.

Anyways I digress because yes i kid you not….there is more.  So case closed…guided by my dreams I know God is telling me I must over come this notion and get on board whole heatedly.  It also tells me that I should not fear or worry about her age.  I’m in God’s hands.  We are in God’s hands.  Ok so I’m on board with the surrogate so I set up a meeting to discuss her with my agent.  During the call she tells me a little more about her.  She’s been a surrogate before.  Then she tells me the name of the last surrogate baby she delivered.  The name is one of the two names I picked for my baby.  I can’t give you the name but I can tell you I chose a boy name and a girl name both names are a variation on each other ie the masculine and the feminine  version much like Robert and Roberta or Don and Donna.  Can’t spill the beans here with the name.  My jaw literally hit the floor.  This surrogate has created space for my baby’s name.

So on a side note….I was so heart broken when some of the embroyos died and didn’t make it to blastocyst.  I had no idea of the numbers game with fertility.  I was also very conflicted about choosing a boy or a girl if i had the choice say for example I had 3 eggs 2 boy and a girl do you choose the boy or the girl.  Would the one resent me in the heavens for not picking them.  If you read back at my mermaid dream when I received the first news of the eggs not progressing.  I believe the mermaid came to foretell me the outcome.  So that further sealed the deal with me.

One last tidbit…the man narrating the program his last name was Bearden.  As you may already be aware I am a bear within the gay community.  My DVR is labeled Bearden.

Oh one more thing….so Debbie Downer Grinch came in to refute my claims of God inspiration and so I looked up the probability of the occurrence of words in the English language.  For instance what would be the probability of the word notion appearing given a single occurrence?  What is the probability of seeing the word Santa in a reference?  Come to find out Google can tell you this information. Santa has a 0.002%, Notion is a 0.005% and Baby is 0.006% and Grinch is 0.0000006544 which is about the likelihood of ZERO POINT.

 

Today magic is all around me.  Spirit dwells among me and as for the Holy Moly Mole one must have a little fun with it I suppose.

[1]               “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” John Denver, Bill Danoff and Taffy Nivert 1971

 

Mystery Sock

So tonight the night following the Not My Shoes dream, i had a date which I don’t often have or at least not often enough in my opinion.  Anytime shoes appear in my dreams I equate them to the Soul since the souls are in your shoes and in this dream the soul or shoe was missing it’s mate.  So I thought it had to do with my desire to find a soul mate and my lack of success in the matter.  I’m pretty much at the point of giving up on a soul mate given the direction my life is headed in from this point forward.  And it seems that all the available shoes or soulmates are not of my liking.  So after the guy who is someone I’ve been on a date with before long time ago and who reminded me a lot of my ex Joe was leaving I found beside my desk on the cedar chest a sock the size appropriate to a baby.  It was just one sock.  I asked the guy if it was his sock to which he said it wasn’t.  I had been all over the room today cleaning and at no time did I see this sock.  It just strikes me as eerily coincidental that I would be abandoning my pursuit of a soulmate in favor of a baby’s sock. Just like in the dream the shoes I liked only had one shoe without a pair.  The sock also has no partner.  I’ve been scanning pictures and I had a framed picture of me when I was in elementary school.  I think the sock would have fit me and I found it right beside the picture.  So many coincidences.

Daddy’s Eyes

As I woke up this morning I saw a young man around the age of 30. He was so beautiful ageless, timeless, eternal. I didn’t know who he was at first but then he opened his eyes and stared directly into my soul as we connected and in that moment I knew exactly who he was. It was my dad. The connection was intense with a deep profound sense of knowing. His eyes were the color of the sun.

In last nights dream I became lucid and found myself in a building trying to find my way out toward freedom.  I am feeling a sense of confinement and I don’t know the people around me.  As I move about, I take note of the ethers that make up the dream.  It illuminates with my thoughts.  There are small etheric people within the ethers who pulsate light and color within their bodies in response to my thought.  They look like brine shrimp as the energy pulsates within the ethers.

As i stand still observing their behavior I see that my ability to create color has developed over time.  Now I experience complex shades of gray-blue.   I also note that the color black has taken on a new form, a delicate lattice not to be feared.  I see the letters 88 or HH appearing in the lattice.

As I walk through one door and emerge in another room very different from the previous I somehow know that I am in the same room.  I then will myself to go outside as I walk through a white door before me, I see people walking about not unlike on any city street.  They all appear to have purpose in being here going about their business.  I will myself to fly but seem to struggle getting very far up off the ground and not sufficient to clear the buildings.   I wonder if I should conform to walking like the others in this dimension.  I also wonder what I look like to them or if they even know I exist in their world.

Love is Perfect; The Bedouin Man

BedouinIn the middle of the night I woke up with the feeling that someone had taken my wallet from off my nightstand.  Before I could even open my eyes, I grabbed for my wallet which was now in the hands of a man who walked beside my bed.  To the man’s surprise, I was successful at reclaiming my wallet from him.  As I opened my eyes, there standing beside my bed was this man.  He was a Bedouin.  Although he stood in my bedroom he also stood simultaneously in his world upon a precipice in the high desert.  He was a beautiful luminescent blue angelic being whose face radiated pure unconditional love.  At times the wind being so strong blew his scarf in front of his face obscuring my view of him.  I raised my hand and arm in front of me to hail his presence.  

                                                     

He then placed a vision in my mind; a dream where I am in a sexual embrace at the point of ecstasy with not a person but the entire universe.  The universe is inside my body.  The feeling was so overwhelming that I completely lost myself forgetting where I was. My being was totally and completely consumed by the experience.  For the first time I experienced real LOVE.  I understood that when we love our love is felt by everyone.  Love is perfect. 

 

As the dream continued and I regain awareness within the dream I realize I forgot to let the dog in from the cold.  I quickly run downstairs in the dream to let him back in.  My dog is so excited to see me.  I kneel upon the floor and my dog jumps into my arms to be cuddled by me.  We walk back upstairs and return to bed. 

 

The vision ends and my awareness is returned to the Bedouin man.  My arm is still outstretched.  My eyes rolled back in my head in utter amazement as my body fell back in bed.  After a few moments, I regained my composure and sat up again to look around the room.  The Bedouin man was nowhere to be found. 

Smoky Truth

FireplaceLast night I had a dream where I am retelling my dream.  I am walking down my street that my house is on.  I stop to look at the beautiful landscape and the clear blue sky.  I notice the sky is too perfect and I become aware that I am dreaming.  Since I am retelling my dream I tell those with me that everything I see here even in it’s perfect appearance is an illusion. But then something catches my eye.  The neighbor’s house has changed.  It is bigger than before. My house does boarder their house.  I walk by the two houses twice to try to figure out how it could have changed.  Somehow I know this is not an illusion.  The homes are real.  

 

Now inside my house I pass by a tiled fireplace and something catches my eye in the reflection of the tile.  In the tiles reflection I can see the truth.   I can see who is actually in the room.  I can see both the physical and those invisible beings from other dimensions.  I am amazed.  I confront the other worldly beings those who are otherwise invisible except when reflected.  I show them that I am not afraid.  They are beautiful to look at.  I play and dance with them. 

 

My ex Michael comes over but he cannot see them. He is happy to see me, so happy that he has alas found me.  I too am happy to see him.  He stands out on the front porch to have a smoke.  While out there the other dimensional beings over hear him saying how much he still loves and wants to be with me.  They share this secret with me. 

Teleportation …. A Night To Remember

TeleportationLast night I had an incredible experience.  I know I always say that but this one was truly incredible and never experienced before.  As I lay in bed mediating I fell into a very deep trance from which I could not get out.  I wasn’t afraid.  I just assumed my body was tired and needed the extra time to revitalize and reconnect to spirit so I immersed myself in the experience.  As I lay there just barely conscious of my surroundings, I suddenly felt an incredible rush of energy that lifted my body up from my chest with tremendous force and great speed.  My head and arms were drawn back by the forward motion.  

 

Still unable to come to and unable to see, I wondered if the entities who bless my night were taking advantage of me in my present state to probe me. I could swear my physical body was literally floating above my bed suspended in mid-air because I could distinctly feel the change in body posture yet my body was not responsive.  My body was asleep yet my consciousness was fully awake and very much attached to my body.  I was having an out of body experience where I was literally dragging my physical body behind me. In the distance I could clearly hear my roommate.  I was sure he would be coming into my room at any moment and would see me hanging there suspended in mid-air like Linda Blair.  I hung there in space with my arms dangling and my head drawn back for about 15 minutes.  My roommate never came into the room.  I felt another force of energy move my body forwared yet again to an even higher level at tremendous speed.  I then began hearing other voices which I could not understand.  In truth, I felt I knew the language but the words were somehow not registering.  I felt my memories were being intentionally blocked and erased the moment I heard them.  

 

After a few minutes, my body returned to my bed as quickly as it was taken up.  Upon impact I immediately opened my eyes. I remained calm.  In front of me above my navel was suspended a mechanical ethereal arm; a dimensional portal of sorts that had been used to probe and observe me.  The opening was a vibratory luminescent green rectangular connected to a green wormhole which extending into space.  Within the green rectangle was a golden pyramid.  I could see into the other dimension through the opening.   Within the pyramid was contained a cosmos of information; all sorts of information and knowledge was contained therein. Through the pyramid I could see everything at once simultaneously, so profound was the experience that I can’t not even begin to describe it, yet not in a spiritual sense it was profound in the shere exchange of information.   The probe swivelled around a bit and finally came to rest on my bed on my right side. It’s substance slowly dissipated leaving behind a collage of luminescent gossamer strands.  I rolled over on my side and hugged the stands drawing them and my covers toward me.  I then fell asleep.

The Death of Physical Desire

Deathast night I had a dream where I am sitting with my family huddled around a small heater that barely produced enough heat for them.  They asked if I could possibly give them a new heater.  Of course, I told them. You can have anything you need.  I materialize a bigger heater for them enough to heat the space in which we were huddled.  Without anyone saying anything to me, I am suddenly aware of the death of my father.  I immediately stand up.  He died while crossing the street.  I observe that no one is saddened by his death not even my mother.  Everyone has gracefully come to terms with his death. 

 

I turn away to do my own inner reflection.  Within me I can see the ground upon which his body lay.  Going back in time I re-live his last breath.  “No, you have to be kidding,” he says to himself inwardly.  He looks up and points to the sky and smiles.  He is experiencing a vision.  “They have come for me,” he says; those where his last words. 

 

I now understood why everyone had gracefully accepted his death.  In his death he received everything he had been searching for.  

 

As my own inner reflection faded within the dream I began to awaken.  Lying in bed I came to full awareness.  Above my bed was floating the image of my father.  Instinctively, I reached out to grab his ethereal form to pull him toward me.  My left hand went straight for his heart like an arrow released from the bow of my heart.  I grabbed hold of him capturing his heart in the palm of my hand.  I could see his final expression as he surrendered his life before my eyes.  His image slowly faded.  I opened my hand and there in the palm of my hand was a handful of the etheric substance of his being.  It was hunter green in color and ran down the palm of my hand and fingers.  I held up my hand to the dawn of the morning light shining through my bedroom window.  Its consistency was dense yet still transparent.  My palm was completely green.  Like tiny fiber filaments angel hair of some sort; it clung to my hand forming a web between my fingers that obscured the light. I compared both palms.  One was clearly green while the other was my normal skin tone. 

 

I placed my palm on my heart.  Could my father have really died?  I’d have to call home first thing in the morning.  Somehow I knew this wasn’t about my real father but more about what my father represented.  My father represents my struggle with addiction and my desire for ultimate truth.  Death is a liberation from bondage; a bondage to my physical desire.  Was I now free from bondage?  I then remembered that last night as I began my meditation I tried to visualize the moment in which I came into existence.  I wanted to know why I had decided to come into physical form.  What was my desire?  What was my purpose for coming here?  What did I want to accomplish? 

 

OstrichI decided to meditate and see if I could glean anything more from this dream vision.  As I meditated, I began to see tree people. These trees were moonstruck; solid black shadows against a white backdrop.  They looked like palm trees with ostrich feet.  There were about 7 of them of varying heights.  They did a two step dance of sorts to let me know they were happy with the outcome.  

 

My alarm sounded.  I quickly hit the snooze button and returned to my meditation.  Seeing that I had returned, the ostrich’s regrouped and returned to their tree dance.  Clarity sharpened as they came in closer into view. The showed me there feet and how they walked.  Still moonstruck all I could see was the outline of their shadow.  My alarm sounded a second time.  It was time to awaken.

 

What does is all mean, I’m really not sure but I know as I live it and hold onto it more will be revealed. I’m exactly where I need to be.