Take The Steps

December 13, 2018

I had a dream where I am an elevator operator.  The elevator feels like a ride at an amusement park like one of those free falling rides except this one the free fall is in the opposite direction you free fall upward as opposed to downward.

I decide to ride it by myself.  I am wonder when the last elevator ride is scheduled.  I believe it is at 7 o,clock.  The ride takes me in free fall to the top.  I am fearless.  Once at the top, I see people waiting in line for the ride back down.  I have to allow them to go first since I am the elevator operator but I don’t want to get stranded up here without a way to get back down.  A man standing next to me tells me not to worry and indicates there are steps I can take to get back down.  Knowing the distance is eternal I don’t want the steps to be my only option.  He walks through the door leading to the steps apparently an option he has chosen to exercise.  I ponder whether I should follow him down but worry I won’t find my way back.  I stand there staring through the open door I can see the many levels of stairs below me.

Muddy Revival

September 8, 2018

Last night I had a very long and incredibly detailed dream.  In part this may be because I slept until noon because I’ve been down with a cold and trying to recover.  This gave me the opportunity to probe deeply into this night’s dream.  In the dream, I am at my niece Otiliia’s funeral.  I am there with my mom who is in a wheel chair.  My neice Otilia is named after my mom.  Right off the bat I am somewhat aware or dubious this can possibly be true because Otilia my niece is too young to die.  I simply accept the dream for what it is telling me. 

There are many funeral processions happening at the same time and since I’m not familiar with all the family members who may be present for the funeral I am unsure which party and procession we are supposed to be with.  My sister Grace gets in line at the reception where they are serving food.  Not wanting to go to the wrong line I sit and wait patiently with my mother.  Finally I decide to wonder over with my mom to see if we can find the correct reception party.  We stumble over one line that is clearly not our party.  Traversing with the wheelchair we are quite visibly intruding on their party. 

I finally find the line that is our family and it is very long.  My sister is standing in the middle of the line already able to get servings of food.  I think there must be a better way to serve all these people.  We stop where my sister is standing.  I can see her face clearly.  I am tempted to cut in the line where she is but I feel guilt and instead my mom and I go the the end of the line and wait.  

While at the end of the line I begin to ask myself how I got here.  I remember taking a metro here and I clearly remember the path I took.  I want to remember so I don’t get lost heading back home.  The steps and directions are clear in my mind.  I decide to look at my cell phone’s GPS to plot where I am.  In my mind I can see a map of my location but looking at my cell phone it is not the iphone X I have in real life it is a flip phone which doesn’t have GPS on it.   I’m curious about the functions of this flip phone so I begin to play with it studying its parts and how it works.

For a moment my attention is called back to the party where I see Maria my brother Paz’s wife who has a very thin waist.  I think to myself.  she must have lost weight because I don’t remember her being that thin.  My awareness then goes back to my concerns about my phone.  Again I look carefully at the phone.  The more I concentrate on the phone the bigger the phone gets until finally it is the size of a television but it seems to be broken because it has two disassembled pieces.  It occurs to me that maybe the two pieces are improperly positioned.  Head to toe, top to botttom there must be some rhyme or reason here.  I turn them over and am able to reassemble to two parts.  The two pieces fit like tongue and groove with each other with the now quite large keyboard remaining inside.  With the phone reassembled the phone becomes one within itself.

I try to figure out the phone in its new configuration.  I am playing with the screen and accidentally hit the panic mode.  The phone siren sounds off continuously like my car’s panic button. I can see the screen clearly which is quite foreign to me.  I’ve never seen a screen quite like this one.  I am finally able to cancel the alarm.   It then becomes apparent that in canceling the alarm the phone now seems to be responding to my thoughts as if it has sync’d up with my mind.  This awareness causes me a bit of confusion.  Wasn’t the iphone broken?  With that thought I can see my iPhone X in a distant place in perfect shape.  So I think OK that’s my perfect phone but there is still doubt in my mind with all the strange things that have been happening.  I question what is happening in the dream.

Now the phone in my hand is back to its small self.  Is this my real phone?  I look to the distant place and now see the phone in the distance place is broken.  It seems this phone has an affect on the distant phone they are somehow interconnected.  Now I’m looking at the broken phone with the knowledge of how to put it back together I fix the phone in the distance.   With the near and distant phones repaired I have the awareness that this is my dream phone which immediately triggers me to become lucid.  All the awareness of everything from this dream is in the present moment.  I start to wake up becoming aware that I am in my bed.  I gather my thoughts and recall what is important to me from this dream to bring into my waking life.

I faintly recall something about my partner.  Yet there was nothing about a partner in the dream.  The phone however had a partner.  I ask who is my partner?  In the distance I see the chest of a man.  The vision of his chest fills my entire field of vision.  I try to figure out whether this image is before me or in the phone because last I remember I was looking at the screen on the phone.  Am I in the phone?

The man before me is immense.  I want to see the face of the man.  Does this man have a beard like me?  The image begins to move.  He is a wild man.  A savage. I can now see the long wild lion like hair on his head and full beard.  The man also has twigs and leaves in his hair.  He is completely unkempt.  The image is a monotone color of brown black and slight shades of yellow.  I want to know more about this man, who he is. I also want to know the answers to the questions in the dream.  I don’t want to wake up without knowing my truth.

The image begins to move.  I see a river start to flow over his shoulders.  He appears to be standing in a creek.  There is mud flowing over him and becoming deeper and deeper.  It reminds me of those endurance events where the men crawl through mud.  I can see him struggling in the mud.  The mud gets deeper and deeper.  I notice the twigs in his hair have remained with him throughout his struggles.  I am captivated by this fact.  How could the twigs be part of this man.  He is now fully submerged in the mud.  The mud now becomes passive and tranquil.  I wonder for a moment what happened to the man when all of the sudden I see his twigs spring forth from the ground followed by his face.  Blue and lavender color begins pulsing from deep as leave and branches begin to emerge from his face.  Small wild flowers come into bloom.  His countenance remains forever present in the foliage.

I awake from the dream.

 

Swiss Privilege

June 13, 2018

I am somewhere like the Swiss Alps up in the mountains.   There has been an emergency evacuation of the building and now I need to find my way back to the 7th floor where I work.  I am standing near the elevator but I am not sure what floor I am on.  I ask someone nearby which way is it to the 7th floor.  I am told I can go either up or down but I must take the stairs to get there.   I decide to go down and end up on the 1st floor.  Once on the first floor I see my coworker Bing walking up the steps.  She pauses on the landing where I am standing and asks me if this is the right place.  She places a post-it note on the ground in front of me.  It has writing on it.  I attempt to read the note knowing my ability to read things in dreams is always difficult.  Although I can’t make out what it says,  I recognize the trademark information it contains to be privileged or top secret.   I tell her she shouldn’t disclose the information because the information is actively being sought out and is top secret.