I went to bed early last night. My head was hurting so bad from crying so much over the break of my recent relationship with Lane. I had so many emotions wrapped up in my head that when I was falling asleep I kept hearing voices. They were the voices of many people. They were so loud and clear that they sounded as if they were in the room with me. I was so irritated because they would not shut up and they were too many voices at once to distinguish the context of the conversations.
I struggled to wake myself up to stop the voices. As I would come back into consciousness the voices would stop. I’d look around my bedroom and see the total darkness and stillness of my bedroom with only a dimmer of light coming in from the street.
Again I would close my eyes and try to fall asleep. Sleep came quickly and as the sleep paralysis would set in the voices would immediately begin. Again I’d struggle to wake up to regain control of my body to stop the voices. Each time I’d reawaken, the voices would immediately stop and I’d come to see the stillness of my bedroom. This happened several times repeatedly. The later and more tired I got and deeper I fell into sleep and the harder it became to reawaken myself to stop the voices.
I then began having false awakenings mixed in with the real awakenings. Eventually I got to the point where I would reawaken to the stillness of my room and immediately close my eyes and enter the false awakening while still fully conscious. In the false awakenings my bedroom became brighter as if I had night vision; I could see the people in my room; those responsible for the voices. There were many people present none who I recognized.
I am irritated that these people have given themselves the liberty of invading my personal space. With my arm I reach out to grab the person closest to me. I point at each person singling them out one by one to let them know I am aware of their presence and there exact location in my dream. But like ghosts my physical movements had no effect on them they simply ignored me. I swung my physical arms harder to make them aware of my disapproval. Finally surrendering to the futility of my efforts, I simply ignored them and fell deeper into the dream.
Angered by their invasion of my personal space, I decide to pick up my belongings and go home. The only belongings I have here in this dimension are a massive crystal chandelier with many fragile pieces and an avocado green upright Hoover vacuum cleaner just like the one my mom had when I was a kid. I am angry with myself. Why do I have this chandelier here in the first place? Why in the world did I remove it from my home to bring it here? The chandelier has been here for so long and uncared for that the glass is completely tarnished yet I know it still has intrinsic value worth keeping so I must take it home with me. I’m embarrassed that the crystals are so dirty from neglect. I grab a cloth sack with a draw string and place the many crystal pieces of varying lengths in the sack. I am careful so as to not break any of them. I carry the sack with caution in front of me. The vacuum cleaner is sitting on a shelf upside down in a closet. I grab it by the handle and turn it right side up and proceed to leave.
Outside is a woman sitting on the curb. I know her to be an Angel but in this dream she is without her wings appearing as a regular person. Since I am lucid, I know her too well. I recognize her even though she is appearing as a regular person her angelic qualities shine through her pale white skin. To temper her brilliance she is wearing a black pearl choker. She is playing with some of the crystals from my chandelier moving them around like chess pieces on the sidewalk. Apparently I had not retrieved all of the pieces. She brings light to the dirty pieces exposing them for all to see.
At this point I’m angry with God for exposing my vulnerabilities and my dirty crystals and the fact that some have escaped my grasp. I grab the Angel by her pearl necklace and demand the return of my crystals. Forcibly I take them from her and release her from my grasp.
I am so angry.